I knew right from the beginning there was something different about me.
This difference was such that at a young age, I was told I wanted to be almost anything that caught my fancy. From age 3 to 11 years old, I had wanted to be almost every profession I came to know; I was confident, determined and I believed in me. my self-esteem was a healthy point of reference to other young girls my age whose mother felt their daughters could do better even when they never gave them the reasons to be self worthy.
Then the accident happened and my self-esteem was shredded when the accident left me with a limp from my left leg. At a young age I was told I had a determination akin to a hunter, I never believed in impossibilities, until the accident came and I found my validation shifted to believe that nobody could love a girl/ woman who is incomplete.
I felt deformed not only by the accident but by my conclusions that I couldn't be like everybody else. Soon after, the values I held in high esteem dropped and I grew into a sullen, dull, shy and low esteemed attention seeker.
I have a wonderful family filled with love, but then I could see the pity in their eyes and the blame-sighs my parents gave every time they thought about how the accident happened. I didn't want that, I wanted them to treat me the same way before the accident, I wanted the same task as before, I wanted no restrictions to what I could do. I needed their protection, yet I didn't want it. As far as I was concerned I was turned to an invalid before I could become a lady. I couldn't indulge this pity party any longer and so I sought for some sort of validation; someone who could love me without pity, who would believe me without placing the love-pity restrictions. I sought the love, but I got sexually exploited
Looking at my life from the beginning and from where I am,its been a journey of recovery, self-appreciation, and total self makeover. I can now conclude, I am different after all, as the difference is what I am able to do, achieve and become when I started believing in me. A lot of girls around the world, most especially in Africa are indebted to other people’s attention and validation, because they believe they can see the answers to what they can become in other people’s eyes and love. There are so many patriarchy views about what girls can become, so many restrictions that leave girls incapable, incomplete and sometimes clueless to the opportunities available to their greatness.
It took every ounce of will power left in my low esteem state to recover from being exploited to wanting to become the different person I knew I was meant to be. The difference I knew as a girl was the fact that I could do anything, be anything and as I grew older, wiser, more knowledgeable with my own validation of self-love, acceptance, I decided I must reach out to girls who are in the process of discovering themselves,and girls who have not discovered themselves to teach them what values is, how to place values on themselves and how to be valued, to also discover purpose and passion and become what they set out to become irrespective of circumstances.
Self esteem is a critical discussion and a part of leadership characteristics for any girl and once the idea, the values, of it is not known, girls are lost in the world and find themselves on the look out for self-definition from anybody, any place and could be hurt, could be exploited, disfigured or maimed for life if not properly handled. With this determination and a new sense of responsibilities, I formed the initiative called Pink Ambition which is an edu-motivational programme for girls (women) to discover themselves, believe in themselves, get more knowledge and be opened to great leadership opportunities for themselves and for others in their communities. I started developing social campaigns to help to buttress this initiatives to meet up with girls to let them understand values, be valued and what to value.
My life has been a journey with the interesting part being the fact that I eventually came to acknowledge who I am, despite what I am, to become what I can be, and to see how others can become what they can become through self-love, acceptance, determination, passion, consistency and through understanding what Ralph Waldo Emerson said about life, “What is life but the angle of vision? A man is measured by the angle at which he looks at the objects”
I am what I am today, because I have looked at “ME” differently and all I can see is the vision to be different and create a difference.