Dichotomies

WHEN I was a teenager, I thought that a dichotomy was something most boys needed!

But now I've matured (a little?) and am incensed by the differences and double standards prevalent in the world.

We can read on WorldPulse accounts of the appalling violence and discrimination women suffer in some countries simply BECAUSE they are women. And we can all feel for them.

That's something that, more and more, I find is unique to us. Men have no such feeling for the hardships suffered - even when other men are concerned. Unless a partner or personal friend is a victim, men seem unaware of how their actions can impinge on people - predominantly women - throughout the world.

So that's the first dichotomy.

But, turning more 'personal' and less 'heavy', what about this insane belief that a boy with several partners is a 'jack the lad', a macho hero, someone to be worshjipped or copied - whereas a girl in the same situation is a sl - t ?

Or the fact that if a man asks us to his bed. we're supposed to consider it a compliment, but if we say it to a man (certainly in the street), it can be illegal.

Or that nobody comments on a father with young children pursuing a career. But a mother? She's criticised for daring to do a paid job rather than sitting at home changing nappies. You'd think that with women as heads of state these days, things might have changed.

Or if a man comes to work unshaven, with an unwashed face and his hair in a mess - yes someone MAY comment - but if I come to work without make-up or eye shadow or lipstick, without my hair tied back or washed, and not smelling of perfume or deodorant - well, EVERYONE would comment either TO me or behind my back!

I attend meetings which sometimes run on past 6 p.m. My colleagues know now that I'm "one of the lads". But at first it was assumed that because I'm a woman there was somewhere else I'd rather be. Cooking for my man? Preparing my kids for bed?

It's amazing the assumptions that men (and some women) make.