It is all written on their faces......they act it out, and use it to determine what i am, will be or should be. I remember this very well when i had a conversation with Eunice, a first born child in a family of six whose mother was the third wife to a retired primary school teacher. Eunice is the 9th child in the family of 29 children. she grew up normally and liked Welcoming visitors to their home, and enjoyed ensuring that they were served well. she was an active member of Sunday school and later youth in church. in school, she was an active member of the drama club. teachers and church leaders were pleased with her. her father too was always happy to have her in the home especially when visitors were around. she did not have it easy though. her mother gave birth to her when she was 17 years. in a polygamous home, older siblings abused her and there was one notorious half sister who abused her --that Eunice was stupid like her grand mother.she did not have uniform leave alone clothes to go to church.she struggled to finish primary school because her step mother had colluded with one subject master to pour ink to spoil her examination script during her final primary examination. she was helped by female teacher and sat for the exam and passed.little did she know that she still had other huddles to jump.she did not have money to take her to a good government girls school, but she agreed to go to a day mixed secondary school. she said she wanted to make sure she finishes high school and go to university.on admission she was asked to produce a baptism certificate. when she asked her mother, her mother answered her that she could not be baptized for she was a child of a third wife. she went to a different church that did not consider issues of polygamy and she was baptized. she finished high school at 17years and since she did not want to live like her mother, she started looking for jobs. she secured the untrained teachers job with the teachers service commission and taught for five years. during the second year of teaching, her father could ask for all her pay and leave her with nothing. she gave all her pay to educate her brother but could not take it any more since she needed to dress well and have her personal effects bu her demanding father could not let her. her results came and she had passed well but there was no one to take her to high school so she thought and decided to get married to run away from the problem.Eunice became a mother at 19. her husband took her for a certificate training in social development work and she got a distinction. she later got admission in a university where she passed so well with a second class honours upper division with various awards of excelling in courses. she refused to belief that was her end. she enrolled for a diploma course in community development and passed well. she got a bursary and went for studies abroad, where she got a cum laude degree programme that was a prerequisite for her masters degree. because of her good work, she secured bursary, did her masters degree and passed very well. Eunice has four children now and she has ensured been an inspiration to them. her firstborn daughter is in the university doing her third year in bachelors degree in economics in a public university. her second born son in doing bachelor of business in information technology second year in a private university. her thirdborn child just joined girls high school in 2012, and her last born daughter in in standard three. i was very impressed with what she is doing with herself and her children, and when i asked her what motivated her to do all these...her response was simple-"i refuse to believe that i am condemned to oblivion with my children because my mother is a third wife to my father. i want to live my life and let my children live theirs. i am willing to do all i can, support all that need me so that they can refuse to believe it is over for them" She added ..."i am willing to go it all the way for my Phd. and those of my children..given that I am the highly educated child in our home, with all 28 who ended in high school. i will make sure my dream comes true" Meanwhile, Eunice is encouraging women who missed opportunities to seize every opportunity for themselves, their children and those who depend on them to realize who they should be not as defined by others.