I was brought up by my Grand mother at a early age,my parents were working in Tanzania and they believed that Kenya had the best Education.I can remember that when my Grand mother woke up in the morning she could call me for Prayers.One day her brother in-law came home and started beating her with a big stick,she was running away from this man and i was following her,we went and settled under a tree since the rains were on,thunderstorm lightening came and strike on us by separating me from her, the tree where we were got burnt by this incident.I saw my Grand mother lying on the other side of the road and me standing on the other side,when she saw me she called me my daughter come here;;;she got hold of my two hands and crying she said,if it were not the death of my husbands ,this frustration could have not befallen me.Do you know that i have buried three men whom i call husbands?i said -no i dont know.She told me that her first husband who is the father of my mother died,then his brother in law inherited her,later this man also died and another brother in law inherited her,this one also died ,now she was to be inherited by the brother in law who came beating her and she refused.Now because of this ,if anything could cross this mans line concerning my grand mother she would always beat her.
My Grand mother went on to tell me ,my daughter be it i gave birth to boys i could not be frustrated like this,i am praying for you that when you get married God may give you a boy child ,this community hates women who are only giving birth to girls.Did you see what happened? then i asked ,what?she said ,one of my husbands was not happy and he came to show me that what i am going through is not normal,this thunderstorm came with him.Now i grew up and i got married ,life became so cruel to me and i went back to share it with my Grand mother;;i told her ,how my father in law and his family did not like me ,what made me go to my Grand mother is this scenery;;;
I gave birth to my third born who was a girl and my husband refused to come to the hospital to pay my hospital bill because i gave birth to a third girl .My father in law told my husband to marry another woman who could give him boys.There i saw fire and i went to my Grand mother,as a child i did not get well the agony my Grand mother was going through?but after i got married ,now i could recall everything and understand the frustration an African woman goes through, under the super clans-men domain.Now with my Grand mother ,i told her about what i was going through,women calling me through out the night telling me to wake my husband up ,since his son with another woman is sick and he should go and take the boy to the hospital,my sister in law coming to me and laughs loudly and finishes with abusive song,my father in law saying that i am wasting his sons seedlings and it was terrible.I told her ,how they promised that in case my husband dies first,they will chase me away with my girls and they will take everything,i will not get even a sewing needle from my house.My Grand mother looked at me with tears flowing from her eyes down to her cheeks and she got hold of my hands and told me to close my eyes for a prayer,she prayed to God and i remember the words;;;Oh Jehovah God ,WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS TO ME?,why my Grand daughter to have the same omen?give her wisdom on what to do so that she may not suffer to old age like me.She finished and we said Amen.She got hold of my hands and told me ,i want to give you a secret ,give me your ears;;Never lose hope in life and go and work hard for your children,nothing comes easy;you god is not a liar he can not punish you,because he has already punished me ,i know he will give you sons.She released me to go back to my children with hopes that my God knows me.I went back and felt relieved,now i could ignore the abuses and frustrations i was going through.I went on with my work in the hospital,every month i sending for her money,she could come and stay with me in the city and when going back i do a good shopping for her and give her some money.One day she came to visit me and she was sick,now her sister came to my house to see her,and her sister decided to take her to Nairobi for treatment,before she went with her sister she called me a side and told me ;;listen ,look at my hand,i looked and saw something swollen,and she told me ,this was beaten by my brother in law whom you used to see beat me every time,now the DOCTORS says that it is cancer,and the Dr.here in Kisumu has refered me to Nairobi,i want to tell you some thing my girl;;;she was holding my hands tightly and crying,-IN CASE I GO THERE AND I DIE,TAKE CARE OF ME,DRESS ME WELL,TELL ALL MY GRAND CHILDREN NOT TO RUN AWAY FROM ME,THEY MUST TOUCH ME BEFORE MY COFFIN IS CLOSED.Now she went with her sister and i was arranging to go and see her in the hospital in Nairobi,but did i go?on the day i was to go,somebody knocked at my door with the message that my Grand mother in Theater,i started to cry and i called my mother ,we organized for her body to be brought to Kisumu and was preserved well ,i dressed her well as he said and i called her grand children told them that they have to touch her before the coffin is closed as she said.We as her grand we reharsed a song in her memory and we sang this song in her funeral.
After one year ,i saw her in a dream,in the dream i saw my self giving her a flower and she refused to take this flower, she told me to give it to his son Otieno,this otieno died immediately after her,then she came to explain to me still in a dream ,why she said i give the flower to his son Otieno.;she told me that i have given birth to her many times,now i should give birth to his son Otieno.Amazingly after her funeral i got pregnant and later gave birth to a baby boy,in one years time i got pregnant again and gav birth to another boy.It took time before i dreamt of her again,.Six years ago i had financial problems and she came to me in a dream and got hold of my hands and told me to cross the other side of the river ,there she has put some money for me in a big envelope when i crossed i got the envelope,then woke up with nothing but realized that i was dreaming,from there i started getting good reports from my business and i respect the wrinkled hands om my GRAND-MOTHER NYAR OMBUDO.
Take action! This post was submitted in response to My Story: Holding Hands.