In my culture growing girls and boys dont sleep in their parents houses,they sleep at their grand parents,it was for the children to be told tales and taught how to grow with discipline in the community.I loved my grand mothers bed time stories,some could make us laugh, some could make us cry and some were to live with us for life.We were taught how to grow up with dignity,pride and love.My grand maa taught us to grow up with our virginity,so that on our wedding day we may bring honour to our parents and the community,she went on saying that ,if ou dont take good care of your selves you will bring shame to the whole community and you should grow with your age.Now,we asked her what she meant by [you must gow up with your age].
My grand children,it is good all of you are here,you the boys and girls,it is good you want to know what growing with age means;;;;;;listen to this story,it is a true story and it is never told because it brought a calamity to our community.This is the story,move closer to me and give me your ears,;;;;my aunt in those early days of my youth,went to work in the city,she became pregnant before marriage and decided to abondon this baby in the hospital without any body knowing,she succeeded with her plans and she continued with her life in the city.Now with time she became pregnant again and decided to get married before the pregnancy could be detected.Here her newly husband knew she was pregnant with his baby,the baby grew up into a man and unfortunately his father died before knowing that he was not his biological son.This lady went on with her life dating men ,some of his sons age or more younger than his son.One day his son came with his friend at home and this lady fell in love with this young man,they were dating without his son knowing,this young man who was a friend of his son stopped communicating with his friend and went on dating his friends mom.Now the lady became pregnant with his baby,the lady did like what happened to her and she went to see her Doctor to help her abort the pregnancy,the Dr.refused because the law did not allow it.Now she opened up and told the young man that she was pregnant,she told him about the plan of abortion and how the Doctor could not do it,and she requested to see this boys mother,the boy was not at ease to talk to his mama about this ,but the lady putting preasure,one day he told his mother the whole story,and his mother said it is ok,it has happened,it does not matter even if the mother to my grand son is older than me,let us meet her tomorrow.
They went to meet the pregnant lady in his house and she welcomed them in.Now before Introduction the pregnant lady was trying to recall where she had seen this lady whom she may call mother in law,here she became brave and asked her,;;it seems as if we had met some where,where do you think we met/?mother inlaw replied with a smile ,i also think we had met,then daughter inlaw asked if she used to work in a certain hospital?she said yes,are you so and so?yes,then daughter in law started her story ,;;;i am so and so,i gave birth to a baby boy in the hospital where you worked in such a year and yuo helped escape living this boy with you ,how is he/?did you give him away or you kept him with you?this mother inlaw fainted when she heard this ,when conscious she pointed at his son,you see this son of mine, the one who brought me to you, that you are pregnant with his baby is the baby boy you escaped and left for me ,he is your son,they both cried and asked whre they could seek an advise of how to go about this,this boy became confused and thought of killing himself.
Now his son ,the one who was a friend of this other son heard about this and became mad with him,he asked his mama why she kept this secret from him and the mother got wild and told him that even himself he was not a true son to the late man he called his father,his father was so and so,when he heard, he fell down,waking up he asked his mother again,who is my father?the man his mother was telling him to be his father is the father of his girl friend who is pregnant with his baby.It was for the elders to come in and see what to do,this turned toa calamity with shame to my village and the community,my grand mother finished by saying never keep secrets from your family and GROW WITH YOUR AGE.This is a story from my grand mother that i will grow with every day and i will tell it to my children,and my grand children with a request that they tell it on to my on generation.

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When we are born we have our age groups,this are the people we can share so much with.With time we tend to adopt to other groups which we are not comfortable with,why are we doing this?Dont get into a dance which does not fit you,or put on adress which does not march your age,Let us be carefull and grow up with our age.

ketwangi orphanage and learning center Kisumu Kenya