One of the most disheartening things I have noticed in my community is that many women, whether well educated or illiterate, do not believe in themselves. It literally breaks my heart to see women who do not believe they are good enough or rather as good as the men are. Case in point: I went to university with a certain lady whom every time a professor asked us to work in groups, she would avoid the “girls’ group” like the plague. Whenever I asked her why she didn’t want to work with us, she would say, “the men always end up doing all the work while I sit back and look pretty.”

Unfortunately, that wasn’t always the case. In fact, she often had to do all the work because the men, knowing that she didn’t believe in herself, knew what buttons to push. I know she would never admit it but what this young lady didn’t know is that she didn’t believe women, including herself, were as bright as men. A certain saying, which I detest by the way, about women being their own worst enemies, comes to mind.

However, I do not blame this young lady. Women today are constantly bombarded with advertisements, magazines, books and even mainstream newspapers informing them that they are not good enough. I mean take a look at some of the books and magazines out there that claim to be written for women, they are all about changing one thing or the other; how to have longer hair/eyelashes; how to act like a man. They all have one thing in common; they are telling women that they aren’t good enough. How about media that tells women they are good enough, for a change?

In my opinion, new media creates a great opportunity for women to build one another’s self esteem. It is an opportunity for us to let women know that they are good enough, as they are. Although, I admit that there is always room for change, I think mainstream media has that covered. In addition, online communities provide an opportunity for women to mentor other women. I can definitely see myself utilizing online communities such as PulseWire to find mentors for young women in my community while publishing articles telling women everywhere that they are good enough, as they are.

Take action! This post was submitted in response to Voices of Our Future Application: Challenges and Solutions to Creating Change.


The message you intend to carry/are carrying and sharing is absolutely laced with integrity. There are many sisters who need to hear it. And the more of us telling them, the more likely they are to hear and believe.

Bless your heart and thanks for sharing. You certainly have a mission of grace.

Love, Ruthibelle


I'm glad to know that you think my message is "laced with integrity." I will not let up; I will keep telling women everywhere that they are good enough until they actually believe it themselves. Thanks.

Kind Regards, Grace

From reading your article - all I can say is that you get it!!! I feel exactly the same way. Check out my artilce...and see why i think you get it.I think we can work together somehow....



A candle looses nothing my lighting another

Sometimes we are our own enemy without realising it - a result of our environment and socialisation. I have often heard women say "I prefer a male boss, women have too much drama" or some such thing. Unfortunately we do ourselves a disfavour and the status quo continues to benefit a fraction of the population.



Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts on this subject. I agree that this is very disheartening. I think you are right that new media provides an opportunity to build each other up. Keep at it. I look forward to seeing more of your writing.

In friendship, Jasmine

Great post! You are right to say we shouldn't blame women for thinking they are not good enough, especially with the despicable way main stream media can depict women as only objects. But I must add that through my own personal experience, I've learned that in order to succeed, especially in a male dominated environment, I have to not only believe I'm good enough but act and work even harder to be better than my male colleagues, despite the fact that the extra work doesn't necessarily equal to more benefits or even equal footing with them. The main challenge that I face with this is that it has become inconvenient for me to invest enough time in my social life. In other words, I've been able to advance in my career but haven't been able to bring myself closer to getting married. Therefore, I feel like there's not only the barrier of the media status quo but our societies are also not ready to accept that a woman who is good enough in the workplace is also good enough for the household. I'm interested in knowing whether or not you know of a solution for this. I wish that mainstream media would move towards this direction--promoting the valuable role women can play in all aspects of life.

Thanks for reading my post. Once women begin believing in themselves a lot more, they will also begin to believe in other women. The reason why 2/3 of all women prefer male bosses is because they themselves do not believe they can be good bosses. This is what to we need to change.

Kind Regards, Grace

Dear Grace,


Solving any "problem" starts with identifying root causes, and you in your post have portrayed what the real cause behind women's marginalization is! So powerful your message is and so eloquent your words are.

We are not only good, we are "great" beyond measure.

Thank you, Hiba