The Freedom of the Abyss

There is a weightlessness to the descent into the place that scares me most
A finality and loss of control that is frightening
Liberating
The leap into the abyss of my darkness
Shows a new perspective on faith
Of the sorrowful hour that needs my trust in its cathartic surrender
I have let this night of my soul consume me
Let it swallow me alive
Let it burn me
Let it take me over
I have no wish to keep up the fight to keep my shadows at bay
I have learned to accept everything I fear
Let the finality of smoky candles remind me I am kneeling on sacred ground
The rest in the cold solstice has always carried the gift of renewal
Winter silence, the death that is necessary
The place my true self will be tested
Where I will be brought to the bottom, face-down sobbing
Brought into this sanctuary of unshed tears
Bathed and cleansed by their salt; this water my salvation
Where I feel the years past I never knew were still alive
A proper funeral and space to grieve deeply
Silently the divine guidance stands guard
An illuminated ring of prayers leads the path
My body curled in fetal position
Rocked by the chaos and the unknown as this womb holds me
The agony of death so close to the opening
Weightlessness giving me the freedom of my full sensation
My vessel being emptied of doubt by overflowing with it
I fall
Finding solace in the promise of the dawning day
The deeper this darkness plows, ravaging and rattling me
The more light I can contain