Something is off with that man, I'd tell myself every time he would throw a tantrum in his drunken stupor.  And yet he claimed to love me, despite all my faults.  Those faults, he was always eager to point out and when I would suggest we break up, he would change his tone and profusely apologize.  The hallmark of a liar.  The last time I saw him, I had already broken up with him.  But he wouldn't let me have some personal items he'd borrowed; camera, tripod, microphones, inter alia.  I was livid that I had to live in fear of such an individual, in a country where apparently if you're a woman and you get assaulted, you have to bear the brunt of the accountability.  As if I asked to be assaulted.  The problem with third-world, developing countries is that even if they advertise themselves for making strides in gender parity and equality, it's usually not the case.  Because at the very crux of the problem, is the corrosive nature of our culture, and its corollary-our laws.

The first thing I did, after suffering blows that caused my near disfigurement, was to go to the nearest police station and clearly point out my assailant.  I was under the impression that once this was done, he would be arrested and I would be granted a protection order of some kind but according to the law here, no such thing would be available to me as I wasn't ''married'' or living with my assailant at the time of the crime.  I would have to live in fear, dread every moment the psychopath might use to complete what he started.  Because his goal wasn't to maim me or even injure me, it was clearly to kill me.

It all happened under the watchful eye of his mother, standing right at the door as his son was bludgeoning me with the tripod he had borrowed from me.  I yelled for help, I exhorted her to call the cops, but all she did was leave me to fend for myself.  A friend was waiting for me outside in the car, and even he couldn't intervene, faced with the terror that would not abate.  I collapsed in the corridor, feeling the life slipping out of my body, feeling my head explode and not understanding how I was able to swallow so much pain.  But I couldn't let him finish what he started.  Sure, I wasn't as muscly and I was rather frail, but I had come a long way to let a man, who hadn't achieved half of what I had achieved, inflict death upon me.

I knew what would put an end to all of it and I pretended to regret breaking up with him, telling him I still had feelings for him, while my face was bruising up and that shiner was getting worse.  His simplistic barbaric mind bought those excuses just as quick as he was to resort to violence.  His was so clearly a mind that never developed, he couldn't understand nuances and everything was prone to duality.  She broke up with me, I will kill her; She loves me, I will stop beating her.  After that event, the legal procedures were a blur, but I felt something I had never felt before.  Contempt.  His father, being highly ranked in the police force would certainly interfere to impede my quest for justice.  His son could beat anyone, kill anyone, but owing to our ambiguous, poorly implemented laws, his father could just bail him out, with no regard for the safety of others.  But I will not stay silent.  I never beat anyone up, all I wanted was to regain my possessions and never see that person again.

I should not be living in fear and neither should the millions of women who suffer silently in developing countries.  The feminist wave that captured the West ought to liberalize women from the shackles that prevent them from even being safe in developing countries.

 

This post was submitted in response to Share Your Story On Any Topic.

20Encouragement

Hi LuxG. Welcome back:-) Is this horrible story about you? How horrible. When did this happen? So you never received justice? Argh. I'm not sure if this wouldn't happen in the U.S., though, but I'm glad you stood your ground and outsmarted him... well, at least so he stopped beating you to a pulp. Thanks for sharing your story. Through solidarity this has to end.

Hi jlanghus, thank you for welcoming me back.  Yes this is about me.  It happened on Monday and I've been feeling restless ever since!  The case is still underway but there is no framework to help female victims here in Mauritius, where I live.  I can only hope sensitization will change that.

Thank you for your words of encouragement.

Oh, no:-( I bet. Poor you. Is he stalking you? I was hoping this had either happened awhile ago and you had time to heal or that it was someone else, but that doesn't help either really. Aw. Let us know how we can help. I'm sending love and light to you:-)

You have sent me so much courage and light, it is enough!  I will fight for women in my country, because I'm aware how their quest for justice is often undermined.  Thank you!

Okay. If anything should change, let me know. Please feel free to message me:) Yes, it is and your voice is heard, even if it's not as prominent as it should be yet. Will you be taking him to court again?

The police procedures are quite lengthy here but I have to admit I live in fear everyday.  What if he comes back to throw acid on me?  What if he does something to my sisters?  The sad thing is I haven't even received any sort of protection from the local police.  Just pray for me please.

Oh:( Please hold only hold positive thoughts to attract in positive thoughts. You can also ask Arch Angel Michael and additional Guardian Angels to protect you and your loved ones, every day. And, hopefully you have mace, if need be? I'm asking for additional protection from you and your loved ones. I will continue to pray for you. Please keep us posted.

I'm feeling a lot better, I have received so much love and support these few days, who cares about an insignificant evil when there's so much love to be shared right?  You will not believe what I found though.

My ex was using a smartphone that belonged to me, and the police recovered it for me.  I found in his photo gallery, screenshots of demonic incantations.  He referred to me as 'Soul to take'.  This person's intentions couldn't be clearer.  But I can't stop smiling because I know my heart has always been pure and that makes me so happy!  It filters out all the bad energy.

Oh, good:) Um, that's really unnerving, to say the least:-( Eeek. Your guides and guardian angels were seriously looking out for you, hon. I'm sure they will continue to do so. Great attitude there. I'm impressed by your strength, courage and endurance. Have you considered sharing this story and how you see your future, or the future in general without harassment and abuse under the WP "#MeToo" call for stories: https://www.worldpulse.com/en/voices-rising/story-awards/80722. You could make quite a compelling submission for this category.

Oh my dearest, the story is the same in the developing countries, but I am happy that you are speaking out, I hope that advocacy and sensitization will change a lot of things in the nearest future. 

 

I am sorry for what you went through with that beast, my story is the same, the only difference is  just that they are different men, different situation and different reasons given for beaten us, my prayer is that my daughters wont go through what I went through, so I started early education and empowerment for them.....

 

Please be safe and keep safe.

Olutosin Oladosu Adebowale Founder/Project Coordinator Star of Hope Transformation Centre, 713 Road, A Close, Festac Town Lagos-Nigeria https:

Thank you so much for your support.  Your courage inspires me to be courageous.  It is unacceptable that women are still treated so badly in countries that aspire to develop.  Women give life, love, nurture children and protect their children and yet crimes against them are rife in countries like ours.  We need to change that.

Thank you for your kind words!