Just the other day one of my old good friends called to let me know that she wil tie the knot in two weeks time. Her mother was visiting her In London to attend the ceremony. I Know the family very well, infact while in high school when I did not have any one to visit me because my mother had died and My father was bed ridden, it was my friend's Mother who gave me the love of a mother. When I hearn the news of the upcoming wedding. I was extremely happy for my friend like one would be for her own sister. But I was also filled with envy because my mamma was not there to celebrate the achievements of my life like her mother was. I was honest with my friend and i said " ... I am happy for you but an jealous too"
Like a pat on my shoulder her voice on the other side of the telephone assured me that she understands when she said "It is well."
Today as I sit on here am reflecting on these words that I shared with my dear friend. I also remember clearly that day in 1991 when I stood before the whole family and community and spoke my heart out as I cried
"Ma! Ma! Ooh Mamma, Do not leave me Ma! desperate lonely and Confused, Don't let death take you fight for your rights Ma! Oh dear, Come back I am left with memories of the past and responsibilities of the future.
Alas! Alas! all that starts well ends well pure blasphemy,lies, nonsense for it all begun well with Pa and Ma Sailing in the same ship, With a gorgeous wedding, Flowers, presents, songs and most of al a wedding ring, Those were the happy moments, the second celebration after birth Gone is the day and coming back It won't
What does a man want? What win's a man? I will be glad to know I will seach for an answer, down the valleys , Up the mountains across the bridges until lastly I get.
Dad Never came home later Never, unless with a reason then Bang, It begun Coming home late, druck , annoyed, Hot tempered, Hot tempwers everywhere.
"Dear Paul could say Ma Please the children what will they say We need to be a good example for them to....." but before she could finish Pa was on her
"Woman! Woman! mind your own business What have I to do with girls, wives, women shut your beak or else the gate is open But Paul.. ...Did you hear me? Out!!!"
Like a donkey the beast of burden her pleas went with the wind It was slaps , kicks and all those leaving Ma dejected and lonely wit no one to turn to Only her children who cried and mourned with her
Then came the second wife The Star of Africa Her lips clotted with blood, with fried hair and painted nails moreover with a tube like skirt, who could whisper in dad's ear in a white man's language And they laughed sending treaks of fear i Ma's spine
Not a month Later later The who left Pa in Hospital, in bed with Ma trying fruitlessly to save the situation
AIDS! AIDS! you are not meant for us Go Go to where you came from no one invited you and none needs you in our midst Go!!!!
And here is Ma again leaving me with the children to feed clothe and Comfort Lord, God, why should i suffer so Why should I go through all these take this cup of suffering away
Lord how should i appease you Which sacrifice do you need only to return Pa and Ma and promise to murder AIDS
where there is Alpha, Omega is present
Ma, may God rest your soul in peace Bye
(This text was presented to the funeral of Mrs Dommie N W in 1991 written and presented by her daughter Lin W copyright)
Today many years after this memorable day, the events are so vivid in my mind. I cannot lie but say how much I miss my Mother, I keep think what life would be like with her around.
Iam learning again to live beyond mamma's shadow, the woman who impacted my life with unconditional love, the love of my life, the best mother in the world. I will forever Thank God for giving me to you. You are fondly missed!!!