It seems so strange that over a month has past by without me! I mean, I lived day to day and got through each day but nothing creative happened much during that time. It seems that one day it was the beginning of August and then suddenly I find it is the middle of September.
It is funny since I now have much more compassion for the chronically ill then ever before. I never knew before I somehow got allergies this summer how draining it is to feel ill for a long time. For me, it was mostly annoying then a serious condition but the effects were felt so strongly that I think I should bring some attention to how damaging it can be to feel ill for an extended period of time like that.
If you read my previous journals then you know we (my 4 daughters and I) bounced back from bad marriage but that left me feeling inspired and ready and willing to change the world and myself for the better. This allergy thing though left me feeling drained and emotionally exhausted in a different way. Instead of feeling inspired to improve things I just wanted to get through another day. While my brain still thought up great articles by the time I got to the computer and got my fingers on the keyboard I felt too tired to write right then so would put it off to the next day. Then I find that not only days have passed but weeks, yikes!
I was thinking it is much like the way depression can effect you but instead of being depressed in the mind it is somehow your body itself that is depressed, if that makes any sense... Where your mind still functions mostly like normal but the energy to do things is gone and the feeling is sort of like the idea that tomorrow you will feel more like yourself and do it then but then tomorrow never comes.
I am feeling so much better and so ready to write more but still find it so hard to believe that a month has passed like this! Where did it go and can we do a sort of "do-over" so I can get back those missed thoughts and ideas that never got written? My daughters were mentioning to me that they missed me on World Pulse a lot and I kept saying I would write something soon, don't worry but time just kept passing me by. I think I did write one post during that time but then a few days later began to worry I was dying since I felt so horrible at night. It was just a few nights, thankfully, that I felt so badly but it made me think of a lot of things I want to accomplish "before I go" or however you put it!
So, I wanted to get something posted so my girls can read I am so much better and getting active again here and bouncing back. I think they got worried since I love writing so much but didn't do much this summer like I had planned. The other night I was typing up ideas that I had had during that time and it was about 4am by the time I got them down. Yikes! So I will hopefully find time during the days to get some writing done but usually find inspiration at nighttime. That was one thing we really loved about homeschooling is we could do the classes in the evenings if we wanted since sometimes that is when we all felt alert and interested.
I think one of my first journals mentioned that, how you have to make choices like that and sometimes you do need to choose to do what you love creatively. I missed that so much this summer but hopefully will get back into it quickly!
I hope to get caught up on the missed posts soon and look forward to meeting all the new people who joined!
Maria0Send Me Love