Letter to husbands of Bamenda Cameroon

Dear husbands of Bamenda,

I am writing to you with pain in my heart because your wives have suffered in your hands. On a daily basis, I watch women being battered in public by you. I see women on wheel chairs because of you. I see women who have lost their sight because of you. I see market women who have stopped doing their business because you stopped them. I see women who sleep lifeless in the streets and hospitals all because of you. And just yesterday, I met an old friend's mother who now moves with a bent back, with her left arm suspended to her breast level because her husband beats her everyday -- because you beat her. My friend's mum told me she has been going for her hospital rendez-vous every month in far off Douala to see a specialist. She can no longer enjoy her monthly salary, she now diverts it to pay specialists monthly. And now she cannot even drive her own car as her bones are nerves are not working properly anymore.

Oh dear husbands, I can't even think of the fact that you say women's rights have made women to jump away from the submissive Bamenda woman to the arrogant and recalcitrant copy cat of western culture. Seriously, husband. No sweethearts, you are missing the point.

My dear husbands, I am here to make things clear to you and beg you to join me so that we can together fight gender based violence. I know patriarchy and socialisation made you to understand that the woman, your wife, is a second class citizen. But no, it is not like that. Your wife is your friend, your partner, your sister, your confidante, your everything. Care for her the way you would care for your sister. Make dialogue your number one thing in your relationship. Call her attention to things that made you unhappy in a friendly manner. Listen to her and encourage her when she feels down. Love and trust her at all times.

Dear husbands, if you do these and more, you are indirectly erasing violence in your relationship. And remember, a violent free home can guarantee a violent free society. I am saying that if all husbands plant love and no violence in their homes, children will grow up with the same attitude and society will be void of violence. Hussies, do you know that violence in society is build from violence within families? Yes, I am serious! Are you happy with the way society is going with all the violence from terrorist groups? I know you aren't happy about it. The way you feel about violence in the world is the same way your wife feels about violence against her. Her heart is hurting and hurting and hurting.

Dear husbands of Bamenda, I know not all of you are pepetrating violence against women but I call on you all to join me fight violence against women, especially as the world stands up to commemorate 16th days of activism against gender based violence. Gender based violence are in different forms but we can effect change by begining from our homes.

Dear husband, as I look forward to a positive reply to this letter, I am sending you a big hug, a big smile, a big friendly kiss on the cheek, and above all, big love.

Yours truly

Nakinti Besumbu Nofuru

A woman in Bamenda