THE COSTLY MISTAKE FROM MY PAST.

My name is Esther Bature, am a Nigerian from Plateau State, Jos. I grew up with my middle class parents, who are true Christians, devoted into full time mission work, andfamily life. They consciously created time to spend with us, to find out our future plans, goals, dreams, and aspirations.

Coming from a family of four children three girls and 1 boy, of which I am the second. My parents believed in me especially my Father(Who's now Late). He saw me taking after him, in so many ways especially his mission (ministry) work and also my parents appreciated the fact I am enterprising. They used me as their refrence point, to my siblings and others when it comes to business.

Then something went wrong, so wrong, It was like I shattered their hopes and dreams about my great future. I got pregnant in my second year in the University. It all started when I got into the high institution in 2008, to study political science in a private Christian University, in my country Nigeria, I was a devoted member in my school chapel, I served in the ushering unit, I abided with all rules and regulations in the campus, but I guess I was not carful enough, when I fell in love with a guy in my department, this guy was two years ahead of me. He was my best friend on campus we shared ideas, aspirations and dreams, he helped me out with school work, we were always together. We were inseparable.

The few times we were not together, were times we had to go for our seperate lectures, go back to the hostel to rest, or when the school was on holiday and he had to go home to see his parents because he lives in a state (Province) that was very far from mine, there were even some holidays he came to my house, and took me out on lovely dates. We were so much in love, to the extent we planned to spend the rest of our lives together after school. This never came to lamplight then.

I became pregnant, towards the end of my second year in the University, when i found out I was pregnant, my world was turned apart. It was a beginning of a horrific and traumatic experience for me, I attempted suicide, but on a second thought, "where will I go to if I kill my self"? Those were the thoughts that kept hunting me. My boyfriend suggested we abort the baby, so as to enable us finish school and escape the wrath of being expelled from the school, because the kind of University I attended was a Christian school and won't condone such immoralacts, but fears of not pulling through the abortion alive, won't allow me engage in such a risky behavior.

After all efforts to cover up for sins, we were expelled from school, my parents were heart broken, my mother was almost admitted in the hospital because of me, my father was depressed and won't speak to me, my siblings were all disappointed. At this point, I knew that I have disappointed my God, my family, church, society and womanhood. I was depressed beyond words. I left my parents house for sometime, to run away from my shame, I went to stay with some people. I never had peace, until I returned back home, FORGAVE MY SELF, asked for God's forgiveness and that of my family. I decided to take responsibilities for my actions by going to my church to report to the Pastor. I told him what I was engaged in so I can be placed under church discipline, which i was for about 3 months, because it was a doctrine in my church, anybody found guilty of fornication will be excommunicated(excluded from taking holy communion). It was a trying time for me and my family. So much happened though, I will forever remain grateful to them. My parents forgave me and took care of me tilI ihad my baby.

LESS I FORGET, the Love I thought we shared with my boyfriend was test when we were expelled from school, I tried in different ways lying to the school authories that he was not the one responsible for my pregnancy, so that he Would be allowed to graduate, since he was already in his final year while I was just in my second year,also to enable him get a good paying Job that will take care of me and the baby. But all my efforts failed, At that point in time i knew my boyfriend never loved me, he insulted me, called me names, blamed me for not acting well before the school authorities so he won't be expelled. His family and friends said I was a bad luck and a misfortune, He even felt I was some demon sent to destroy his bright futur, because there were days he practically called just to render curses and blames for all his mishaps, as though I was not also in school or not having parents too. It was hell for me, because i thought i had a shoulder to lean on, i thought i had found a friend to go through it all with me in ever situation, instead he left me just at the middle of the road when I needed him the most, he left my heart broken to pieces.

Not too long, I kicked back on my feet, because of the social support from family and friends, though it was rough and tough for them, my parents especially. Eventually they enroll me into another University, helped me gain back my self confidence and built my self-esteem. After some years in the university i graduated with an upper second class grade in B.S.c Psychology, my daughter isalso well taken cared of by my parents , she is now in a very good school, performing excellently. I was able to achieve all that, because I had the full support and sponsorship of my parents. Most parents I know won't support their child, though my parents were not proud of what I did, but their support has made me a better person and a great woman am gradually turning into. I want to encourage parents/ guardians out there, no matter how difficult the situation your child may places you in, do not push them away. The little or much support you will give to that child, will make a whole lot of difference in their life's.

From 2011, I decided to use my shameful past, to encourage young people, especially young girls/ladies who found themselves in such situation, and feels there is no cause for living, lost hope in themselves and their dreams. I hope to create a community forum of young girls/women, Who will be empowered economically, and morally to keep purity ( sexually) until marriage, encourage single young mothers to re-position themselves never to give up on their dreams and aspirations. Most importantly, I hope to raise advocacy to support single parents who are not able to go back to school.

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Support the vision of educating and empowering single young mothers who are unable to go back school and are struggling to care for their children.