My awareness that women need to be more vocal to spread the words and lobby for causes which benefit women, especially for gender equality matters pertaining to marriages, education, jobs opportunities and many aspects that affect one's quality of living in the society, started when I experienced a terribly failed relationship when he had an affair. It was a difficult time as I had immersed myself into the relationship, expected to be long-term, to be a life-long companion.

At the same time, I began to read up on news and laws for marriages and child adoption etc. in my country when I realised that I am not the only one alone, as many other women faced problems with their engagements and marriages when their partners abandoned them for "new women" in their lives, these women...many whom work or travel over to my country for work, studies or leisure. The women group also started to become more active in fighting for better welfare for women so that women can stand equal to men as attention rises as news of family breakdown resulting in suicide cases, turbulent divorce cases and depressions news were reported whether in the papers or through word of mouth.

It was a wakening moment especially for me who was personally affected by having experienced it myself. I got over it, time can heal "injuries" but the emotional "scars" will not just disappear as the memories linger but I will not go too much into details of how the whole "battle" developed into a "full-blown" one when I had to soldier on and so that I could survive, and not let myself fail which was what the other party would want. It was a mind battle, not only that......

In the midst of all these, finding solutions to solve the problems that came about due to these, keep continuing and I thought to myself, more should be done to help fellow women, whether if the current existing laws could be amended to protect the rights of women in marriages, women should receive more education whether at colleges or to continue their education or to upgrade their skills. It is important that women can be financially or mentally independent so that if anything happens, they can stand up quickly, for themselves and to start afresh. Trusting oneself is more reliant because one will definitely have to care for oneself as this is basic human instinct.

As internet access is easily available in my country, which a city island, Singapore, being active online, to be vocal in forums and related websites, to raise awareness of the happenings to women, is one possible avenue. I also ever joined grassroots group in my country before, to have a physical presence, whether to appeal for myself or women issues in my country.

Experiences ( bad or good ones ) teach us, strengthen us but it has also changed my perspective in life, it is not about bringing emotional baggage but to be more careful in life, even when one can be forward looking in life.

Take action! This post was submitted in response to WWW: Women Weave the Web .


Dear Poh Ching Sharing your experience is very welcome and calming. I expecially love your concluding statement 'Experiences ( bad or good ones ) teach us, strengthen us but it has also changed my perspective in life, it is not about bringing emotional baggage but to be more careful in life, even when one can be forward looking in life." Lets continue weaving the web for equality.

Grace Ikirimat

"It takes the hammer of persistence to drive the nail of success."

My daughter, Jennifer Faith, is a new member of World Pulse. She recently won a 2 year battle to get free from her marriage, in which her husband was terribly abusive. When he began threatening to kill her, she finally made the decision to break free from the religious teachings that said she would lose the favor of God if she divorced. What she learned was that God is on her side, and he helped her in many many ways in her journey to freedom. Now she understands God's ways much better and has a very close relationship with him. Having overcome such terrible adversity, she also wants to make the suffering she endured count for something, so she has written a book and works hard to help other women in the same position that she was to get free. You're so right, her own experience has given her a passion to help others. If someone who reads this is in an abusive relationship and cannot find the support they need to escape, please connect with Jennifer Faith here: You will find her words encouraging and comforting. You are not alone.

I am so sorry pohching about your broken relationship, I now know that men are also as unfaithful in some other part of the world. They will be unfaithful to your face and still expect that you should stomach and endure it. It is as bad.The most important thing as you have said is that women must be empowered to defend themselves. Thank you for sharing your experience with us here!

Love Busayo Obisakin

Busayo ObisakinWomen inspiration Development center Ile-Ife, Nigeria

The societal old-fashioned thinking by men that they can cheat and get away with it, expecting it to be considered as a norm should be abolished and that in a relationship, both parties are expected to be faithful.

I agree with you that women need to be empowered in all aspects of life and they specifically need to be financially independent.

I am very impressed with your strengths and I hope and wish that whatever you have learned through your experience, you will continue to help other women around you. Keep faith and good luck for your future.


Julie Desai


Good that my unfortunate experience can be a good read and learning information for other women. There are more in life other than being in a relationship. Women can be successful as individuals on their own, in terms of their self-worthiness such as their careers.

Thank you for sharing your story. It is experiences like this that help future women avoid these situations. Keep up the good work in your efforts to promote awareness through the internet!

If women do not get involved enough in activism for purpose of women empowerment issues ( women movement ), then our rights can't be further improved so fellow women, let's do our parts for ourselves, and fellow sisters.