My life was ruined by online abuse and harassment



My story



It was on a Monday morning in November 2015 when I walked into the lecture room,to my surprise everyone was starring at me.Of course I was late for the lecture but that was not something new on campus.Some where laughing at me,others were staring at me with disbelief.I failed to concentrate the whole lecture and I made my way out before the end of the lecture.Just as I was going out of the room, a close friend of mine followed me outside.She opened a Facebook page where students post gossip and social news.



Something shocking caught my eye, I was the headline on that page.I had my pictures which were photo-shopped in a degrading manner on that page.At first I thought I was dreaming,I pinched myself but I realized that all of this was real.The pictures had a message which said,"if you want bronclere or marijuana you can contact the lady in the picture inuniversity campus.....she is a whore, she goes around sleeping with man and spreading H.I.V on campus, SO BEWARE OF HER."Seeing this my heart sank and I couldn't believe it.These photos went viral on Whats app social groups,and within a few hours everyone on campus had seen them.



That day I was taken by the Central Investigation Department of localpolice for investigations and my room was searched for drugs but they dint find any.I cried and I was hate to the bone, because I knew that all this was not true.I was beaten at the police station because they wanted me to tell them the truth about the drugs I was said to be selling on campus.I spend two days in the cells.This was a horrible experience of my life.To tell you the truth, the conditions of these cells are not favorable to human health.My parents were called and they came to the police station to see me.They were angry at me to such an extent that they decided to stop paying my tuition fees.Unfortunately,I had to defer my studies in 2015 and up to now I haven't managed to resume my studies.My dad said that I was a disgrace to the family and it was better for him to invest his money somewhere else because I was not focused.I tried to explain to him that it was not true but he said,"there is no smoke without fire,why you of all the students on campus?"



After two days I was released from the police station but my life had taken a wrong turn.I had to go back to college so that I could finish that semester,life was not easy I tell you.I was rejected by my parents,friends and my boyfriend broke up with me because of the bad reputation that was built up by online abuse.My boyfriend and friends were shy to be part of my company because the incident was so embarrassing.My boyfriend received insults because of those pictures and my "so called behavior ",eventually he left me because he dint want to be associated with a "whore" who is h.i.v positive.



I wanted to commit suicide because I saw this as the end of the world for me because no one was there for me.I felt useless,I became bitter and I developed fear of social networks for some months.I was afraid to go on the internet and I deleted Whats app and Facebook from my phone.I lost trust in people because I had no idea who had done such a thing to me.



I started to isolate myself from other students on campus.I had a low self esteem and I was demotivated as well.I lost confidence to present and to walk in front of other students.This was so because people started to look down upon me and to talk ill of me.My performance in class deteriorated because I was so lonely and I stopped attending group discussions.



My social personalities changed .I developed anger,depression and I had to withdraw from some social events e.g parties at home.In addition I stopped attending volleyball sessions.This affected my relationship with my parents.



Since I was representing my univeristy in 2014-2015,my crown was taken away from me and it was given to the First Princess.The committeesat down and came up with that decision because they said I was not fit for that tittle because of my behavior and the pictures which went viral on social media.They said it will be humiliating for the university to have me on that post.I was hate to have the crown taken away from me because of lies.



In a nutshell, online abuse and harassment negatively impacted on my life.They say time heals but I am finding it hard to recover from the effects of that incident.



Impact when women are silenced and pushed out of online spaces



Women play a critical role in the society and in the economy.Therefore, if they are silenced and pushed out of online spaces it will devastate their lives,potential and the global economy.



There will be a decrease in profits and customers to Internet companies such as Facebook and other companies which have adopted social media as part of their marketing strategy.This is so because 80% of internet users comprises of women.According to U.S consumer survey (2010), women use twitter more than man for finding deals,retail,following celebrities and for books,video games and music.This is also the case with Zimbabwean women,they spend time on the internet because they want to get connected to other women and to get access to information that is relevant to their daily lives.For example,cooking recipes and makeup tutorials on YouTube,fashion on Pintrest e.t.c.Still on that same note, most companies in Zimbabwe have adopted social media as an integral part of their marketing strategies,whilst, women are responsible for 80% of household goods.So if they are silenced and pushed out of online spaces, such companies will suffer a decrease in their customer bases and profits.This will in turn,affect the Gross domestic product and National domestic product.



Social media presents opportunities for women to make a difference in the world.It also helps them to build relationships across all sectors of the economy and the world.However,these opportunities will not be realized if women are silenced and pushed out of online spaces.A great example in this context is World pulse.



The internet empowers women through online courses,membership institutions and providing information on various subjects.In addition,it also helps women to find their career paths.For example, I am doing online courses with FutureLearn and Alison and I am also a member of International Association of Public Health Logisticians. If women are silenced on online spaces it means most women in Zimbabwe will find it difficult to choose career paths and to advance their education online whilst they are in the comfort of their homes.



Social media is now widely used as marketing platform by most women entrepreneurs and those in the arts industry in Zimbabwe.Most female standup comedians have managed to make it the arts industry through showing their talents on Whats app, Facebook and Twitter among others.The list of these include Tyra Chikoko,Gonyeti and Beverly Sibanda.In addition, we also have Amanda Mutangadura (a model) who uses her Facebook page to advertise her makeup workshops and fashion shows.With these few examples,I can safely say that the social media has transformed the lives of many women in Zimbabwe since its a cheap way of advertising and interacting with fans and customers. Therefore,if online space becomes a battleground and women are silenced it means that such talents wont be realized and it will also result in poor life styles for those women mentioned above among others.



We will end up having women who have low self esteem, stress and are demotivated.Thus, some women might isolate themselves and they will also develop resilience due to absence of loving relationships and social interactions.This will also affect greatly their offline lives.



What it will take to make the internet safe for all women to participate fully



It may take generations to make the internet safe for all women.This is so because it requires a change in laws,policies,attitudes,perceptions and technology.Change cannot take place in a day.As for online abuse,its a process that will take more time than most of we the living have left.



It takes willingness,knowledge,goals and strategies to eradicate online abuse and harassment.Governments and citizens must be willing to unite against this social menace.As true as this may be,we cannot close our eyes to the fact that willingness comes after people have been educated on the subject.For instance,in Zimbabwe many people are victims of online abuse but they don't know what it is.Citizens can get knowledge through various ways which include;



radio and television talk-shows on online abuse and harassment - this is whereby victims are invited into the studio to share their stories and the audience will call into the studio to pass on their opinions.



roadshows meant to educate public on the subject



awareness campaigns



a film and a feature documentary with victims of online harassment,lawyers,advocates e.t.c



take advantage of arts festivals,for example,Harare International Festival of Arts to get the message to the people through plays,drama and paintings.



write novels and magazines which can be freely distributed in schools and public places e.g hospitals and shopping centres.



Thereafter, governments can formulate goals and strategies they can use to eradicate online abuse and harassment to internet users, especially to women.



Thirdly,governments must be committed to end online abuse and harassment.They must work with partners across different sectors.For example, ministries,donors,institutions and private businesses.This coordination with other sectors is vital for transparency and effective delivery.For example,the Zimbabwean government is drafting laws aimed at protecting internet users.According to Baxton Sirewu who is the Director of Postal and Telecoms Regulatory Authority, said government was working with other stakeholders in the security sectors,Information and technology and other ministries to come up with laws to protect internet users.



Fourthly,the criminal code must be altered so that we can have laws addressing online abuse and harassment.In addition there is need to train police officers,lawyers and judges on how to handle such cases.Although efforts to enact laws are already underway in Zimbabwe,enforcing them can be a very big challenge.This is because the difference between freedom of speech and abusive comments remains unclear.Therefore, it becomes difficult to prove whether a comment is abusive or not.Currently in Zimbabwe, we don't have specific laws on online abuse and harassment.This has resulted in no remedies to the victims or preventative measures and curative measures to deal with such cases.Anyone can post anything without fear or relevant punishment.



The Ministry of Education can introduce cyber crime as a compulsory subject in the primary,secondary and tertiary education curriculums.From my own point of view,this can go a long way in preventing the contamination of online abuse and harassment to the next generations.It can also help to promote zero tolerance to online abuse and people will respect each other on online spaces.



It takes an improvement in technology to end this social threat.I think its high time Internet,software and computer manufactures unite to come up with upgraded technology which can help to catch cyber criminals.Physically,a person can't open a bank account without identity particulars, so I think the same can be applied to online spaces.We can have the concept that is similar to bank accounts or DSTV, whereby,one opens an account and is given a card to use whenever he or she wants to access his or her account.This helps to get rid of the issue of anonymity on accounts, which is the reason why most online abusers still do it without having their identity recognized.



Lastly, I think it will take a lot of cash and years to make the internet safe for all women.To come to such a point long term investment in technology,laws and policies and perception change is required.



In conclusion,online abuse and harassment is real and its affecting a lot of women's lives in a negative way.Therefore,its high time we take action as global citizens,which implies that,everyone can play a role in eradicating online abuse and harassment.With this I think the online spaces can be safe for women once again.

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