Three Years ago When I was Just a Little Woman

It was a very nice afternoon in the winter of 2007 when one of my elder brother’s friends came to visit our home. It was the first time he had ever seen me. I did not know that before leaving our home, he directly told my brother that he wanted to marry me. Despite the fact that I was not grown-up enough to marry someone, my brother couldn’t deny the proposal at that time because that guy was a very good friend of my brother. My brother spoke to my parents about his friend’s proposal. At first, I thought my parents would not deal with it seriously. However, I was surprised to see that my parents agreed to the proposal. Everything was happening like a dream. Perhaps it was the first time when I discovered what love was, but was so unlucky because our love did not last for a very long time. It was only about a week we were in a relationship, but still now, if I close my eyes I can easily go back to that time. I felt like a number of butterflies were around me. I knew why they were there. Butterflies are called the angels of marriage. I was wondering about getting married and having a husband. I was planning to buy new sarees and ornaments. I could not decide what color to wear on the night of my wedding because I was really overwhelmed by everything happening so quickly. I felt an extreme happiness inside me when I wore my engagement ring. I felt very grown up, ready to take on all the responsibilities of my in law’s home. When my future husband and I were at the veranda, nobody was there except the full moon with its dreamy glow. I vividly remember him holding my hands saying that I was the most beautiful lady in this world and if he did not see me, he would not think of marrying any other girl because the girl what he dreamt of was me. It was the day after my engagement; I was waiting by the phone for my future husband’s call as usual. But I didn’t get his call ever after. Something, unexpected, happened, I could smell that. The reason why his parents refused is that my hometown is in Barisal (a division in Bangladesh) and there is a rumor that the people from Barisal are very difficult in their manner. The boy’s parents never wanted their son to marry a girl from Barisal. I decided that I will never get married. I do not know exactly why I decided to do this. Was it for I was in love with that guy or I started to hate boys?
Now, I realize that I started to hate the concept of a being a bride in our society that she always has to be very soft and quiet and she has to agree everything whatever her husband or the in-laws tell her to do.