A Love Letter to you...

So it’s a big day today. Depending.

Capitalists are cashing in this Valentines by convincing you to show your affection to your beloved by buying something sweet, fragranced or cuddly…I always said if I wasn’t so lazy I would consider this business but alas I am a writer and would rather sit back and watch the drama unfold…..then write about it…

Valentine Day finds women in various phases of their lives…

Some little girls smile and giggle at the sight of love birds showing affection building their own castles in the air….

Bashful girlfriends waiting hoping and wondering what their chivalrous boyfriends would do…

There are also those who believe that Valentine is meant to be celebrated everyday and is therefore a routine day…

Or that it’s a waste of time and money….you know whatever makes you tick…

What amazes me is that 10 years ago valentine day was little known in Kenya…..nothing much happened – but lately our FM stations, TV’s and shops are colonized by the frenzy of activities it attracts. It is a bit much.

Last evening I got a thank you hug from my son for some thing or other I had done for him.

I was typing away on my computer, a bit distracted as I mumbled back …”love you”…then he paused and held his cheek against mine for a few extra seconds and said to me,

“Mum, I love your skin because it’s soooo soft.”

All at once I lost my trail of thought and held my son closer rather touched by his words (and to check if he had a fever since pre-teens are never mushy – unless of course they want something)…

His gesture and expression of love was spontaneous, simple and so sweet. It spoke volumes. I thought about how easy it would be to take these little things for granted…..

Don’t get me wrong, I think it’s great to have a special day to celebrate love.

But it might also be less sycophantic if we show a little bit of this affection in our daily lives too.

I believe women drive the course of relationships mostly because we are smarter and more sensible. Sometimes though, we get a little carried away with our expectations and benchmark ourselves with others too much…

Then those annoying little remarks (which are so unattractive) come to the fore,

“Mary gets roses every week, how come you don’t send me roses…”

“Why don’t you do this for me…why don’t you do that for me…?”

It progresses to a whine and soon no one wants to hang around you long enough to hear your tirade…bitterness and rage has a way of revealing a mirage of hideousness….we need to learn to let go and lighten our loads focus on what we really symbolize….

We are these amazingly soft but strong beings. Beautiful inside and out.

We have enough wisdom to help nudge our loved ones in the right direction without seeming condescending…

We have enough love to see past our children’s faults and patiently guide and interest them to a much better life…..

We have enough self-esteem to sit in the midst of chauvinistic men and hold our dignity and earn their respect without aloofness.

We hold ourselves together for the good of the family and the community…the world…

We just have to believe in ourselves…

We are needed, wanted, desired and loved.

As we celebrate this day of love, I choose today to honor our women…the key to true love…