It has been more than twenty years when  I was a little girl at that time, they would live in next street of my house, one day there were so many lights in their house which was full of guests, all were so happy, there were variety of foods there, guests were wearing fancy dresses , they were dancing and were doing fun’ then in evening my mother and all women of the street went to their house and wished all of them best of luck for future as their son got married that day I was also with my mother.

The bride was so beautiful she was wearing a lot of jewelry, her eye were shining with joy’ in red dress she was looking like a fresh rose, she was silent putting her eyes down she was a center of attention; she was looking like a queen at that time.

Time kept going her face was in my mind all the time because I never saw such beautiful creature before; she become my ideal in beauty, then time passed and she gave birth to a beautiful daughter I was growing now and I felt she was not lively and beautiful as before, then I heard she was pregnant but I never saw a new baby, then it would happen again and again after many years of her wedding she was having only one daughter which was unusual in my society where it is common to have ten or even more children for one woman.

I grew up older and came to know a horrible thing about her that whenever she got pregnant her husband would go to doctor get her checked and by knowing that she was expecting a baby girl he would abort this

And then in a few months later there was again same light and music which I saw there a few years later and this was his second marriage

According to my culture it was his right to marry again as she was failed to give him a son. Everybody in the village was agree with him, he was receiving same wishes again, I heard people saying that if he will not have son who will take care of his property, how people will remember him, if he will not have a son his (Nasal) DNA will be vanished from this world with his death, so he was justified to marry another woman as It was his moral and social duty keep his DNA safe until end of this work which a daughter cannot do according to my culture.

So the new lady became a wife and this old queen became a servant because she was not able to produce a son, according to women of my village she was a dry tree which cannot be green and no one can sit under its shadow so better to cut it down and use to

It was right to make her feel that she and her daughter do not deserve anything and both of them should be thankful because they were allowed to live in the house.

It was Ok to give them mental torture, not to get them medicine, new cloths or proper food.

Because they were a burden on the man who was a so called husband and a father

Fortunately or unfortunately new bride gave birth to two sons and old queen knew that it was end of the world for her and now her life was going to be more hell, I saw her crying many times from the roof of my house, I saw her daughter looking at her with a question mark on her face, I saw that girl looking at school going girls with a pain on her face, I saw a hunger into her eyes when someone would pass by the street selling something to eat, I saw her weeping looking at her father who would ignore her like a useless thing on his way .

I never saw her mother smiling and speaking. I never saw both of them making their hair or to sit idle in sunshine eating oranges.

The father was really very happy to have two sons, he would drop the boys in their school himself on his motor bike and would pick them and then would drop them at home again, then would go to his job again, it was a tough job but he did not want to trust anyone, it was a biggest satisfaction for him to be with his sons, they were reason of his life and their better future was a goal of his life.

And then one day like every day boys were holding their bags and lunch boxes, Papa helped them both to sit on motorbike, they were wearing new uniforms and their step sister by hiding herself behind the door of a room was looking at them and was imagining that one day her father will treat her also with such love and care, she saw them going out from the door, new mother closed the door with a smile and came into kitchen asking for breakfast from the old queen.

But after five minutes there was shouting everywhere in the village, all men women and children were running to their house, everyone was crying, a lady went forward to break bangles of the new bride by saying everything is finished for you (in villages widows cannot wear fancy clothes, jewelry or make up as a woman has to look good only for her husband so a widow cannot do it)

She could not stand on her legs, it was difficult for her to breath, the mother-in-law got faint by the news, some people entered inside the house their cloths, their hands were wet with blood, and they were bringing three dead bodies with them because father and both sons were died in a road accident while going to school.

It was impossible to hear any particular voice everybody was crying, was shouting, everybody in the village was in a deep mourn and a shock

But my eyes were looking at her, I saw here and there she was standing with a pillar of the house her daughter was standing with her by holding her arm tightly, I saw silent tears were coming out of her eyes same tears which I had seen many time on the roof of her house from my roof.

Her eyes were looking at his dead body asking a question did you die today. I thought you were died many years before I had been mourning for years why I should weep now?

Thousands of girls are being killed in world every year before their birth, women suffer whole life, people taunt them, humiliate them, men give them divorce, women blame themselves, they bear all kind of hardships to keep their existence, because they do not know that it is not their fault if they did not give birth to a son.

But if all women will be educated no baby girl will be killed, no women will be suffered because she will know that it is not her fault, she will tell her sons and her husband that women are not responsible to determine the sex of the baby but the men.

All of you who are reading this story just see or touch a baby who is close to you then you will realize that by not putting our all efforts in educating girls, how we are taking part in killing of baby girls every day in the world and how big this crime is.

 

 

 

5Encouragement

Hi Sister Zeph. Thanks for sharing your emotional story. This is so sad. I'm crying over this one because it just shouldn't be like this. I had a miscarriage a few years ago and I would've loved that baby girl so much, and yet there are so many that are willingly being aborted... ones that could be loved so much, but don't get the chance. And, how horrible for that mother to have to endure that so many times. To be honest, I would've either killed myself after the first forced abortion or ran away. That is no life for anyone.

Dear Sister thank you to read the story , I am carrying a lot of pain of women with me who I see in my surrounding suffering like this, that's why I am determined to work for them day and night, if in my life time I will be able to save a few lives I will consider myself a successful person 

 

Sister Zeph Founder & Chairperson ZWEEF

Winner of World Pulse Lynn Syms Global Prize 2014

You're welcome:) Don't carry the pain, but heal yourself and continue your important work, too:) You are already successful in so many ways...

hello sister Zeph!!

The story u shared is very saddening. This is the similar story of south Asia. We Nepali also have similar stories where a man can marry more than one wife but a woman is rarely allowed to remarry and has to stay widow all her life even she is very young. We dont have sex- selective abortion laws so there are not much cases of girl child abortion. but preferences to boys is still present.

Let us know more about the situation in your country from your stories.

Prakriti from Nepal

 

Dear Prakriti 

Thank you to read this story, sometime may be we cannot help a particular person but we can help the other who is suffering from same situation, we all are facing same issues almost and in my opinion there is only one solution which is girls education a quality education. this is what I am doing and this is the message, I have for whole world. 

Sister Zeph Founder & Chairperson ZWEEF

Winner of World Pulse Lynn Syms Global Prize 2014