i love my life



(this is an entry from my journal, a journal i keep to write how i feel and things that bother me)



i have grown up hating(i could use that word)my own life and somewhere i realized i had to change because i couldn't even let people close i had this wall created that not many brought it down but when they did they always hurt me so it became an issue and i had to stop and start just letting go of things and love me....i always believed that crying is a weakness and especially being a female that was weird because women are known to cry anytime any place but i never did...i have grown up mostly like men do hardened by life at a young age where you mature before your time/age and learning how sad n unhappy life can be at times...but last year i got a chance to come to Germany and in my heart it felt like a new start and i knew i was being given a chance..i have a friend who i hold close and i wrote him a letter to explain why i needed to leave home...i told him i have always felt like a failure and i needed that to change that i had to fall in love with my own life and just in case someone asked me who i was i would have an answer..he got mad at me for leaving but we cool..now life here in Germany hasn't been a cup of coffee but i cant complain....11 months later i sit here writing my blog sharing my life with the world but i am not the same person anymore...i have been through it all; pain, laughter and it can get a bit lonely without family around since they all each at different places but i have learnt to be a better person, a stronger one and at last i love who i have become and i love my life, i can love and let be loved knowing that even love can hurt but then again isn't that the way we appreciate love? i must say it has been a long journey but i look at it and i regret nothing because now i can laugh even when in pain because i know that makes me a better person if i chose to let all the experiences of life be my teacher.......i am a girl, a woman, a lady, a sister, a niece, a daughter, an aunt, a lover, a friend and someday maybe i'll be a wife, a mother, a grandmother but i am now proud of myself and couldn't be much happier.My time here in Germany is almost up but am glad because i have accomplished what i wanted and i can now say I Love My Life and i fall in love with it everyday.

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