From the last two articles on “SOME WOMEN DO HAVE THEM” it is an obvious fact that women are sometimes the catalyst to the abuses they experience and those experienced by other women. Today, I have decided to discuss some of these personality traits; so that together we can build a gender violence free environment. SELF- CENTREDNESS: she looks out only for her interest without considering the welfare of the other persons involve in the relationship. DOMINEERING PERSONALITY: other words that fit perfectly are, bossy, overbearing, high-handed, authoritarian and dictatorial. She assumes that the other persons’ views are inadequate. She assumes hers are superior and therefore should be accepted by all. JEALOUS PERSONALITY: jealousy is propelled by an impulsive sense of insecurity which usually results from the fear of the possibility of an existing rival. She is highly insecure. Other words that replace this are, resentful, suspicious, watchful, mistrustful or envious. ARROGANT PERSONALITY: arrogance usually results from an exaggerated feeling of arrogant person is very disrespectful. UN-TEACHABLE PERSONALITY: the result of this disposition is that it is usually very difficult to correct them. STURBOURN PERSONALITY: the act of been obstinate, inflexible, headstrong and adamant. HARSH PERSONALITY: other words are cruel, unkind, unsympathetic and insensitive reaction towards those who may fail to see things from the same point of view. DEFENSIVE PERSONALITY: for such a person, there is always a reason to justify their actions. What governs this attitude is an assumption that if the action is not defended, others will regularly take advantage of them. SELF-PITY PERSONALITY: feeling of sorry for oneself and an expectation to be so treated by others. TALKATIVE PERSONALITY: they wear people out with their talks. MANIPULATIVE PERSONALITY: such a person twists facts in order to get others to submit to her views. SECRETIVE PERSONALITY: there is usually an unwillingness to admit people into ones personal affairs. NON LISTENING PERSONALITY: such a person just hears someone talk but never pays attention to what is being said. IMPULSIVE PERSONALITY: does things as soon as they occur without thinking it through. NON-APPRECIATIVE PERSONALITY: those with this personality find it difficult to commend others and praise them for whatever efforts made. UNFORGIVING PERSONALITY: Unforgiveness is the greatest enemy of a healthy relationship. Where there is no forgiveness, the people in the relationship will suffer pain and distress. UNAPPOLOGETIC PERSONALITY: such a person finds it difficult to say I am sorry when they cause offence. TEMPERAMENTAL PERSONALITY: she is easily provoked and quick to get angry. COMPLAINING PERSONALITY: nothing others do ever satisfies them. Just as there are two sides to a coin, I believe also that there are two sides to every personality- positive and negative. The former should be groomed to produce better results while the later raked off! I was a chatterbox as a little girl, in other words, I was a talkative. The only thing that kept me out of trouble was because I hate physical combat hence, I don’t gossip about people. The positive aspect of this trait is that it makes one outspoken. Today I facilitate in programs that are beneficial to my community as a result of this trait. Long ago, I learnt to let my hands do the talking instead of my mouth most times. Whatever your personality traits, remember there are two sides to it- work on your weaknesses and better your strength. “Some women do have them” wouldn’t you say?

Take action! This post was submitted in response to Ending Gender-Based Violence 2012.


There's so much wisdom here. Yes, I can think of many women who fit these descriptions—including myself! You make a good point about the two sides to every personality. Working to build on our strengths leads to personal and community success, and I'm convinced that it leads to greater peace. Too many people are criticized for the negative side of their personality instead of being encouraged to use their gifts. Thank you for a thought-provoking piece!

Hi Debra, thanks for your comment. indeed we should encourage people more rather than criticize them, this brings out the best in people.

salient cry

I haven't read "Some Women do Have Them" 1 or 2, but your conclusions based on these readings are interesting to consider. It is true that we all have our own weaknesses and strength. Feminism, the idea that men and women are of equal worth, is really humanism, and as women we should aim to bring about change that promotes equality and respect for everyone. Thanks for your post. Hannah

thank you Sister, Im indeed sorry that i didnt reply to your comment earlier. i get really busy at this time of the year. thank yopu once again.

salient cry

Dear Tessie, Thank you for your great post. It really does make one think about being more positive and becoming better people. However, I wonder about these "labels" and question whether they are influenced, if not downright created, by patriarchal thinking. Labels dismiss and invalidate women's feelings and they push women into fitting a mold that was assigned to them mostly by men. For example, most (patriarchal) societies have a standard of femininity that a woman must subscribe to. Any woman who deviates from that standard is an outcast, a trouble-maker, a bitch, etc. And why? I believe it's simply because she challenged the status quo and we all need her to fall in line and keep quiet. Because it's easier that way.

So let's not be hasty in asking women to comply with what is expected of them. Or at least, let's hold men to the same standards.

Thank you again for posting,