Frontlines of My Life: Moving Beyond Fear

emergentcorp
Posted March 4, 2016 from Belize

The Frontline of My Life: Overcoming Fear

The relationship with my country and the Central American and Caribbean region is a strong, growing relationship at a personal and professional level. I am on the cusp of moving forward in claiming my space as a woman with something to contribute to my country and region. Perhaps I may also have something to contribute to the world. I am also exploring that possibility.

I have reflected a lot on who I am and why I have not moved along faster on my path towards unleashing my leadership contributions to build resiliency. Just recently I was reminded of what was billed as an African proverb that if a person wants to get somewhere faster, go it alone. If you want to go further, go together. It was an excellent reminder and a validation that I am not moving along the path as fast as I sometimes thing I should be going because I am not someone who goes it alone but rather the person who ‘goes together.’

Nonetheless, I do realize that there is a difference between ‘going together’ and ‘doing it alone’. There is much that I have to do to advance on my leadership path and in many cases these are things that must be done alone, even while I am ‘going together.’ Do you know what I also discovered from this realization following all the reflection? I discovered that there is fear inside me that is holding me back. While I see my proverbial glass as half full I question whether it is really half full? That is fear holding me back. The fear was amplified when I was forced out of an employment position that left me without a stable income source for twelve months.

My emotions were stripped raw and it took a lot of will power and self-affirmation to climb out of the ditch of self-doubt, insecurity, uncertainty and weakened confidence and esteem. I had to hold up the emotional mirror constantly and repeatedly in any given day, week and month, forcing myself to see the options and acknowledge gratitude for the small graces and the resources I have that can be brought to service in an area of great need in my country and region, especially among women, men and youth of African descent. While many are competent in what they do, they lack certification that allows income generation through employment or entrepreneurship.

Reflecting now though, I realize that the fear that existed before and during the time of being pushed down in the ditch and even now that I am at a better place climbing out of the ditch, that fear still is pretty much alive and holding me back from climbing out of the ditch fully and completely and running down my path unleashing my leadership contributions to build resiliency through higher education certification training.

That fear is what I am grabbing hold of right now because I must shake it loose and throw it in the dump heap of negative destructive elements. I know I will be shaking it loose and throwing it as far away as I can because I must! Everything in my being is calling me to get involved in the formal academic training for certification at the higher education level for vulnerable, marginalized people at a cost that is affordable and in a way that is fully accessible with the highest quality and standard.

Comments 9

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eatladi
Mar 04, 2016
Mar 04, 2016

As I read through your story about fear,I can somehow relate because thats where I was at one point in my life. All I can say is where there is a will there is a way.You will overcome this fear, and dont be afraid to take it one step at a time. Also dont forget to pat yourself in the back through this journey because that will be your greatest motivation.

 

emergentcorp
Mar 16, 2016
Mar 16, 2016

There is a will and has been for as many months as I have become conscious of what is holding me back.  The way - my path forward - is a thick overgrown jungle of bush and trees that must be hacked away at to clear the trees.  I am just learning how to weild the machete.  Nervous, but prepared to do the work, I am ready.

Anita Kiddu Muhanguzi
Mar 10, 2016
Mar 10, 2016

Dear Emergentcorp,

You have surely beaten the odds. Am glad you have moved past the fear. Fear is something that affects us all in our lives and having the courgae to move past it is something amazing.

Stay blessed and continue to inspire many more.

emergentcorp
Mar 16, 2016
Mar 16, 2016

Am working at it and I WILL beat the odds. Thanks for your kind words

ARREY- ECHI
Mar 11, 2016
Mar 11, 2016

Fear is the crippling factor that holds many of us back. Glad you have taken that first step to tackle the fear and move on. All the best as you take this necessary bold step. Arrey

emergentcorp
Mar 16, 2016
Mar 16, 2016

Thanks for your words of courage

Rahmana Karuna
Mar 14, 2016
Mar 14, 2016

Dearest Emergencorp, Ah, FEAR, that's a good topic for much discussion. Many politicians and religions and powers that be love to instill fear because it is such a great control mechanism. And what a grand project you have undertaken in these 8 weeks to use yourself to write your stories and use this group to move further along! A line in a song i really like "where there's fear there can be no love, where there's love there can be no fear". Then later i came across a saying which has become my motto "identify my fears (by paying attention to my body/breath) and walk forward with love, stop running in fear". I too was forced out of my employment. I too freaked out in fear for months re no income. My faith guided me back to getting a handle on that fear. "Today i have everything i need-food shelter" Looking forward to reading about your action plan. Hugs thru cyberspace Rahmana Karuna

Sherna Alexander Benjamin
Mar 15, 2016
Mar 15, 2016

Dear Emergencorp,

The FEAR factor which literally cripples many of us at times, no matter how we are pushed or pumped up fear always rears its ugly head to cripple us and we must fight it, we must push ahead and we must overcome it, with each day with each affirmation with each support system and with each removing of the layers of fear we become victorious, we rise above the ashes and we thrive.

emergentcorp
Mar 16, 2016
Mar 16, 2016

So beautifully said, thank you.  

Just in the last couple days I have been thinking that Fear is like such the proverbial nasty boogey monster lurking under the bed that must be pull out from under the bed, grapped by the throat the and shaken like a rag doll and thrown outside the house, never to be seen or heard from again! Maybe!