Keeping up with status is ruining women

Achieng Nas
Posted April 16, 2019 from Uganda
 For how long will you keep crying?
For how long will you keep crying? (1/1)

YESTERDAY I was informed of a young woman badly beaten by her husband. Guess who rang me? The man's friend - a man. Take it serious when a friend of a man tells you anything bad about his fellow...

I am sick and tired of women sticking with men who abuse them, in the name of keeping their marital status. If you are one of them, listen my sister; life has no spare part. Tell me if you are mentally healthy in that relationship?! Tell me if you are happy living right there? Tell me if you are the same person as the young lady you were before you met him... Tell me if that ungly treatment is a reflection of LOVE... tell me...

A dear sister here in WP commented on my facebook post yesterday "“But I love him.” In my experience this is the first thing women will say. My advice, is always to Leave, be Safe. Then when you are safe you can sort out your feelings and emotions.  Her life matters and her children’s safety, if she has children. Get her to safety. Then counseling."" I agree with you Aimee!

I can't tell you how violent my own father was (RIP)...as a child, we slept in the bush countless times with my mother. Even as a little girl, seeing my father hit her with logs, boxing her, stepping on her not once not twice but like forever broke my heart. If I were grown up and educated a bit, like now, I would have saved my mother the so many wounds and scars she has on her body, face and lost  tooth.

I faced violence myself, I was stupid enough to endure for a little while but I am so glad I woke up earlier (with a masters degree of one beautiful baby girl - now 10 years old). I wouldn't have quit with him if I had to obey my mother's relationship principles forever. She always told me he would change and this took me over 10 times of quitting and getting back....his tears were like a river whenever he wanted me back... It took extra people and extra efforts...breaking my mother's rules and listening to more people who gave me more courage and more reasons to quit... 2011 to-date I am a better person. No one has kicked me since then, no one comes home drunk (the scent of a room..)...no one calls me trash... can't exhaust....

If this blog sounds appealing to you, woman living in a troubled relationship then know it's about time... If I remained in that relationship and got HIV or so, my daughter - an innocent child would be suffering the consequences she did not call for.

In 2012, my niece was murdered by her boyfriend. She was in her final year, final semester at the University, the boyfriend used her tuition fees, she complained and that led to her death. Do you now understand why I am getting mad in this article?

Do people give names to women who quit relationships and marriages in your communities? Do you worry about what people will say about you once you quit that guy? Are you worried about how you will care for those children single handedly?  Aha...people's words are not equal to your life, your health is the most important, those children will be supported as long as you reach out to the right people trust me. In fact your children are living in danger, right there. God cares about you, your children, everyday but he (God) won't come fix your situation, he can only wisper to your heart!!!

Quit, quit, quit!!! Such men do not change. Even if you pray, trust me...I believe in the power of prayers but cheating husbands, wife beaters; are forever the same, until they get HIV or so... they get humble when they are helpless, when they get back up....you will tell me.

PS. I lost all my 7 brothers and 1 sister to HIV/AIDS. I am not writing to judge anyone, talking out of experience. Hurting for the hurting

Comments 10

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Jill Langhus
Apr 16
Apr 16

Hi Beatrice,

Thanks for sharing your impassioned and powerful post! Too true. I'm with you 120%. This mentality is so harmful and needs to stop. Thank goodness you are there to support and empower women so that they will view these harmful practices in a different way. You were undoubtedly given these experiences, as harmful as they were, so that you can empower and heal other women. Kudos to you for breaking the cycle and helping so, so many women out, too!

Namaste.

Achieng Nas
Apr 16
Apr 16

Thank you dear. I hardly write about such...was so upset... I know this young woman so well. She doesn't deserve the pain she's going through...and any other woman out there going through the same...
We have to wake up before it is too late...can't tell you how many women and men are currently living with HIV because they chose to be patient with their cheating partners...

Jill Langhus
Apr 17
Apr 17

You're welcome.

Aw. Poor thing:-(

No. She doesn't!

That's too sad, dear. And, yes, people do!

CATHIE
Apr 17
Apr 17

Hello my Hero,
You will always remain a HERO to many more. I totally agree with you! Many women are out there living like in hell because they are scared of what people will say about them quitting marriage or relationship. However life is lived only once, their health should be their first priority before considering people's words. The truth is, people will always speak no matter what one does! I think these women still need more empowering voices speaking into them, so that they can rise up and defend themselves.
Thank you so much for sharing with us and your empowerment work!

Cheers and more blessings.

Achieng Nas
Apr 17
Apr 17

Hi Catherine,
Thank you for your heart warming response. Hearing this from our own Doctor warms my heart. Praying that you find a wonderful man who will not only LOVE you but also value and support your dreams.

ARREY- ECHI
Apr 17
Apr 17

Hello Achieng,
Thank you for this powerful write up. Sorry for what your witnessed your mother go through and what you also passed through. I applaud you for damning the consequences of what people would say, to move out and safe yourself and daughter, breaking the cirlce and today empowering others.
Keep being the voice.
hugs and love,
Arrey

Achieng Nas
Apr 17
Apr 17

Hi Arrey!
Thank you for your kind words!
Life is more important than people's judgements and utterances.
Just couldn't keep quite about this. Even if just one person gets out of trouble after reading this, will be a great achievement!
Hugs and love to you too!

Aimee Knight
Apr 17
Apr 17

Bea, your story is incredible, powerful and needs to be shared. My World Pulse family, I would like to nominate this story for a story award if that is possible.

Achieng Nas
Apr 17
Apr 17

Hi Aimee,
Thank you for your kind words.
Seriously no need for award here...decided to share the story based on the fact at hand. Just so happy and thankful that I was able to offload it there. Thanks to this powerful global diary!

CATHIE
Apr 17
Apr 17

Hello Aunt Beatrice,
Amen!!! And thanks!
Blessings.