You Don't Know What Pain Is

Claris Angafor
Posted June 7, 2019 from United Kingdom
You don't know what pain is..Part2

You don't know what pain is…

You don’t know what pain is until All you’ve got left is pain

You don't know what pain is until

You’ve been restlessly pacing the room Letting your troubled steps echo from the stairs

Forcing your mind to drag your numb body Pining away in the desolate corridors Trying a clumsy dance on a special labour ball And not really knowing what next

You don't know what pain is until You do a scan and there is no foetus

And then you remember: oh! the bleed But don’t understand why baby had to leap

You don't know what labour pain is until You've pushed out a beautiful bundle of joy, yet, lifeless And cradle its eternally-slumbering body in your arms

Still feeling like you’re simply just caught in a nightmare

You don't know what pain is until You've laboured for hours and had to push, Push out a piece of joy whose cry you’ll never hear

Who’ll never say, "I love you" or "I hate you mum".

A baby whose name you’ll never call and get a response Or whose footsteps the staircase will never know

You don't know what pain is until You've plodded down that aisle And in your arms is a dismal white casket Instead of a beautiful white bouquet

You don't know what pain is until Everyone thinks you're crazy with grief

Because they’ve never been there before And tag your baby “unborn” or “just a miscarriage”

You don't know what pain is until The cemetery knows your footsteps and wardrobe

Because you believe that's your second home

And you don't want to feel like you've abandoned your Angel.

Now You know what pain is   .....               When all you've got is that pain.

 

Copyright Reserved

@ Claris Angafor (2019)

Comments 10

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Hello again, dear Claris,

The experience you wrote here is really heartbreaking. Thank you for describing this kind of pain. How strong you are for going through this and are able to process the roller coaster of emotions. I’m so glad you can now freely write about this.

May you continue to inspire women with your story! Hope you have a great day!

Claris Angafor
Jun 07
Jun 07

Thank you so much. I had to device a means to feel these emotions properly and be able to use these tests in my life as my testimonies. I'm just starting out in all these? Dont yet have a very clear vision but I believe God will show me the way. Sending you hugs and kisses.
Claris

Lisbeth
Jun 08
Jun 08

How are you doing? I am so sorry to hear your experience. May you have the peace to help you forget your pain. Its not easy at all in such situations. Thanks for sharing it.
Warm regards

Claris Angafor
Jun 08
Jun 08

Thanks dear. it's not easy in such situations. Actually, Writing and sharing my experiences has also helped me to find inner peace so as not to hide my pain. Hiding the pain may have long term effects on individuals including breakdown or depression
Thanks dear

Lisbeth
Jun 08
Jun 08

Well said :-). Take care then.

Jill Langhus
Jun 08
Jun 08

Hi Claris,

Thanks for sharing and vocalizing your pain about your stillbirth experience. It will enable other women to be able to speak up about their pain, too. It shouldn't be stigmatized or belittled, in any way shape or form.

Claris Angafor
Jun 08
Jun 08

Thanks so much Jill. Actually, Davi-Jayce lived for 1h20mins before passing on. It is my wish that many women with similar experiences should be able to speak out about their experiences and the pain they experienced so that they can find inner peace at last. Thanks once more

Jill Langhus
Jun 08
Jun 08

You're very welcome. Oh, I see. My apologies. I thought it was another complicated pregnancy that you were referring to, and not Davi-Jayce, dear. Me, too! It is a good wish:-)

Asherah
Jun 08
Jun 08

Oh Claris, I am so very sorry for your loss. I've suffered through two miscarriages and my tears still stain my heart. I hope you are able to find peace in your writing and in the kindness and connection with others. Thank you for sharing your pain with us.

Beth Lacey
Jul 06
Jul 06

so sorry for your tragedy