Continuation-Past Revisited

After two and a half-month of reconciling with my husband I got pregnant to my second child.I was so afraid and helpless at that time because I am the one earning for our means and my husband don't have the initiative to look for a job maybe it's because he was so dependent on me.With the suggestion of my cousin of a local advice and self medication abortifacient I took it hoping that it will take effect.For once only I did it because it will add another cost to my limited budget and it will also affect my working condition.It did not prosper and I continue my pregnancy. In order for my husband not to be idle and with his interest I allow and spend for his study on a six(6) months training course as a seaman that at that time applicants seldom have hard time to pass the requirements.Luckily, I was able to tap the help of my friend/beneficiaries of my former institutions' services.All the hardships of an expectant mother is expected because I used to travel to far places for occular survey looking for area/community where to put-up a community-based health program.Because the baby inside the womb of a mother was connected to her whatever feelings a mother will have for sure the baby will absorb.Anger,lonelyness,afraid,tired,etc.all feelings of a living person feels I know it penetrates to the baby inside.It was manifested to my son aside from the fact that I am a solo parent, he can't focus on his study although he was bright from the class.I usually arrived late at night from my work because our place is far and having hard time to got ride.Until I discover that he's drug user(shabu).I find all the means on how to cure him like place him in a rehabilitation institution but less than a week he was able to escape.I inquired for the governments' services on drug dependent and we are required to attend once a week or four times a month to the Narcotic Anonymous seminar for about six(6)months.With my understanding and endurance we religiously followed that order.During the course of the said acitivity the content are counselling by the assigned social worker,testimonies of drug dependent before and the an announced collection of urine to the patient in order to know if they continue using the prohibited drug.I was so thankful that everytime my son undergo the procedure the result is negative.I also discovered that as if I am a drug dependent also and that was been explained to us by the resourse speaker.We have seasonal excurssion also.We have our bonding,closeness and interest during the period and in fact we continue it until one(1)year.Before the end of his treatment I find enough time and chance to talk to my son my intent to abort him before.At first,he was speechles and tears shed in his eyes.I explained her my situation of being helpless at that time and I asked his forgiveness eventhough it's long time ago.He hold my hands and I cannot explain my feelings at that time.

He started to show that he had change especially when he have his own family and he becomes a very thoughtful and responsible father to his son. He took preparing his sons' need in going to school and help him on his assignments while his wife in an overseas worker.The painful experiences a mother have is when my son died so sudden because of aneurism at his young age of twenthy-six(26).I really felt a sudden pain in my heart that moment and maybe if I had a heart ailment I will be dead at the very moment.Words can't explain.