Every women dream to have a happily married life, a caring and loving husband and responsible. A husband who will not hurt the wife physically.
When i was young i can see my parents arguing until my father try to shoot my mom with M16 rifle, then she (my mom) pulled the gun towards her and told my father to shot her. My father pull back the gun, he only want to make my mother scared but my mom is also a fighter . That's the time I told myself," if I have my own family I want to have a husband who will never beat me ".
When I meet my husband, I thought the dream which i asked before is already come true. He know my failure relationship, he accept who am I. After a months of relation we decided to live in together .
In year 2010 I got pregnant and he got his new job. His time of coming back home is always late not like before he come back early. I never doubt but i feel there's something going on. I trust him that he will not do any nasty things. Until year 2011 of February I already gave birth to our first son with complications in breathing, he need to transfer to another hospital for treatment because the hospital where we went is not enough of facilities. After 4 days I already discharged while my baby not yet. In 2weeks time my son discharged, I'm so happy to heard the news.
Fast forward... In past few months my husband always have a call even late at night, when I asked, he will said ," it's about work". I asked who called, he will said, " the clerk in his office ". I never bothered because I trust him.
June 2011 i got pregnant to our second son. A couple of months he (my husband) bring the woman (the clerk in his office), i welcome her to my house without hesitation or doubt. My husband told me, " so that you can have friend here", i just smiled when my husband said that word FRIEND. Sometimes she (the clerk) sleepover in my house. When my husband go for out station (far from city/ other places) for work I also gave birth to my second son in 2012 with yellowish skin and G6PD baby.
Few months time, my husband phone have message. As usual i read the message but I'm wondering, "why she (the clerk) never called my husband through his name ?". Why she called my husband "Da". Both (my husband and the clerk) are the same race, so they can lie to me what is the meaning of "Da". Before this incident happened I already dream that they have affairs but still i don't want to believe because it's just a Dream... A Dream that maybe God showed me what's really going on.
When my husband go for work I go to my neighbors house, who's also the same race to my husband . I asked what is the meaning of "Da", when they told me it is the same meaning of calling to someone "babe,honey,etc". I feel my tears like going to drop, my body shaking because of anger. I don't know what to do that time, i go to my room and cried. He come back late, I confront him early morning about his relation to the clerk, he said " she's our clerk in the office and doing some for the business " but when I said " or other monkey business ". Straight he slapped me while holding my second baby and hold my neck, then I walked out go to the room. I cried without his presence, only across in my mind is to go back to my hometown (Philippines). I feel alone that time and sometimes I attempt to suicide but when I look to my two son's I refuse to do. He asked forgiveness for hurting me, I also forgive him.
The next day I check his phone and I see the message from the witch (the clerk), I'm heat up again. I confront him and he said it's just a short call of his name , then I said " why her name is also Daniel? so that you can call her DA". We end up fighting until to the extent I have bruises to my face and arm. Even I fight to him, still I never win , I'm thin and petit compared to him. Maybe 5 times his beating me, he keep asking forgiveness and I also forgive him. He admitted that he cheated on me and promise me not to do it again. I warned him if he cheat on me again theirs no more forgiveness i can give and if he beat me again that is the end of it.
So far until now he change, he become a good husband. People said, "one's a cheater always a cheater " but I don't believe on that because nobody's perfect in this world, all of us can commit mistakes and deserve to have a second chance. I give second chance to my husband because I still love him but not the same before he cheated me, still on process and bring back the full trust. I also forgive him because of my children, I don't want them to become a product of broken family, like me growing up without my father beside me .
By God's grace I hope it will continue that we live a happy family eternity...