Mental Violence

allie shep
Posted October 18, 2016 from United Kingdom

"Mental Cruelty" it's more often called, but I think "Mental Violence" sums up what many women have to suffer.

What I mean is the horrifying ways which men can and do treat us without actually laying a finger on our bodies.

(I know that to an extent I'm 'preaching to the converted' here - maybe my audience should be men.)

Watching a film the other day reminded me of an incident when I was 16. I'd only known my then-boyfriend 2 weeks, but for some reason (I guess BECAUSE I was only 16!) I agreed to him borrowing his dad's car and driving us into the country. When he refused to let on where he was taking us, at first I laughed. But, as the journey continued, I became agitated, then concerned, then worried, then angry at myself for accepting him. Things were O.K. in the end, but for many women in similar situations they aren't.

After that happened, I vowed that, once I'd passed my test, I wouldn't ever let a man drive me anywhere - I would always be in the driving seat! (The roads are safer that way anyway.)

But that's not possible for many women. Men entice them into their cars and refuse to let them out. Or take them into the woods and keep the way out a secret. Or meet them late at night in a deserted alley. It MAY all be innocent, but it isn't for the woman. We have to organise our lives because it's always possible that someone stronger than us (i.e. a man) may decide to organise it for us - in a way we'd rather they didn't.

Men just don't realise how their strength and actions can overawe us. The fact that they CAN assault us or even rape us always has to be a concern. Because, unless it's a man we've known for years or one related to us, we can never be sure of their intentions.

I hope I'm not merely adding to women's anxiety. I just don't want to see horrible things happen to any more women.

If I'm meeting someone I always drive (unless it's at a busy site in the centre of London), and I always tell a friend where I'm going.

Two precautions I shouldn't HAVE to take (and which a man never would), but which, in this unfair world, can make me feel a little safer if I do.

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Oct 19, 2016
Oct 19, 2016
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Kathy Marecic
Oct 19, 2016
Oct 19, 2016

Thank you for bringing awareness to domestic violence.  Please read below about RUSafe - an app that is helping women and saving lives.  Download RUSafe today and spread the word to others to download RUSafe. Thanks.

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RUSafe Facts:

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There are over 1,560 Women’s Shelters with 24-Hour Hotlines across the U.S. available to victims of intimate partner violence through the RUSafe App.

The RUSafe App has been opened 3,189 times since the National Launch in 2014.

955 contacts have been made through the RUSafe App (calls, website visits & inspirational videos).

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The RUSafe App is a potential life-saving tool to help victims escape dangerous domestic violence situations by directing them to the closest qualified crisis center that provides services and legal advocacy to protect victims and their children while assisting in their transition to a safe and healthy environment.

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Download the RUSafe App today – and help bring awareness to Domestic Violence.  Use the app for yourself or help a friend in need.  

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Why is the RUSafe App needed?

Each day, three or more women are murdered by their boyfriends or husbands on average.

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Tamarack Verrall
Nov 05, 2016
Nov 05, 2016

Hi Allie,

I'm glad you raised the subject of Mental Cruelty/Mental Violence. I think both terms fit and I enjoyed reading about how you have decided to stay safe. 

In sisterhood,