Mental Violence

\"Mental Cruelty\" it's more often called, but I think \"Mental Violence\" sums up what many women have to suffer.

What I mean is the horrifying ways which men can and do treat us without actually laying a finger on our bodies.

(I know that to an extent I'm 'preaching to the converted' here - maybe my audience should be men.)

Watching a film the other day reminded me of an incident when I was 16. I'd only known my then-boyfriend 2 weeks, but for some reason (I guess BECAUSE I was only 16!) I agreed to him borrowing his dad's car and driving us into the country.

When he refused to let on where he was taking us, at first I laughed. But, as the journey continued, I became agitated, then concerned, then worried, then angry at myself for accepting him.

Things were O.K. in the end, but for many women in similar situations they aren't.

After that happened, I vowed that, once I'd passed my test, I wouldn't ever let a man drive me anywhere - I would always be in the driving seat! (The roads are safer that way anyway.)

But that's not possible for many women. Men entice them into their cars and refuse to let them out. Or take them into the woods and keep the way out a secret. Or meet them late at night in a deserted alley. It MAY all be innocent, but it isn't for the woman. We have to organise our lives because it's always possible that someone stronger than us (i.e. a man) may decide to organise it for us - in a way we'd rather they didn't.

Men just don't realise how their strength and actions can overawe us. The fact that they CAN assault us or even rape us always has to be a concern. Because, unless it's a man we've known for years or one related to us, we can never be sure of their intentions.

I hope I'm not merely adding to women's anxiety. I just don't want to see horrible things happen to any more women.

If I'm meeting someone I always drive (unless it's at a busy site in the centre of London), and I always tell a friend where I'm going.

Two precautions I shouldn't HAVE to take (and which a man never would), but which, in this unfair world, can make me feel a little safer if I do.