Stop domestic violence!

Posted February 15, 2009 from Uzbekistan
She was 22 years old, when she married him. They loved each other, and marriage was celebrated in all Uzbek traditions, with pompesity and 300 guests. This is an avarage number of guests, usually invited to Uzbek marriage ceremony. She knew, when they had some conflicts, he could beat her... One day, after their marriage she was beaten because she didn't answer his permission to go to the market. Then... He could beat whenever he thinks he should beat her. He was educated, had a good job. She also was smart and beautiful. She always hoped, some day he will stop...She always forgave him, because she loved him. She didn't tell to her parents, no one should know about their problems... they should keep an image of happy and good family. She was on maternity leave, took care of son, and then doughter... She was dependent financially... But one day, in front of two children he beat her so strongly, he beat her black and blue, she had a concussion of the brain. Neighbors came and stopped him... He only blamed her... Why he beat her this time? She was going to visit her parents with children and took one pack of detergent... without his permission. She called emergency, doctor said she has to call police...She didn't want to make this issue public... But she knew, if not this time... He spent 2 days in police, blaming her, blaiming her... She asked police to forgive him...But they proceeded issue up to the court. Judge asked her to put off sunglasses... She felt herself humiliated...So difficult... In front of many peoples...Judge asked him if he wants to loose his job, his warm house, his lovely children? He said "no". After this he never did this again... Every woman can stop domestic viloence. Don't be afraid of making this issue public! No one will take care of you if you don't respect yourself and your rights!!! Think about your future, your health and health of your children!

Comments 5

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Jade Frank
Feb 15, 2009
Feb 15, 2009

Hi Nargiza,

Thank you for sharing this story of a woman in Uzbekistan. Unfortunately, it rings true for so many women around the world. But by sharing these stories and increasing awareness of domestic abuse - hopefully other women like the one in your story, can take a stand against it to protect herself and her family.

I am looking forward to hearing more about life in Uzbekistan and the issues that women face in your country.

Warm regards, Jade

Feb 16, 2009
Feb 16, 2009

A story that is replicated all over the world.It doesn't matter where you are you have seen or heard this story.And it is always the woman that suffers, then the children and eventually the husband.In your story when the judge asked him if he pretty much wants to suffer he said no. Men should understand that by inflicting this inhuman act, you destroy the womans natural ability to care and love her family.If you beat her she grows weak and wont be able to run around the house doing house chores,cooking,taking of the children etc.If you beat her she becomes afraid of you and is unable to love you how can you love something that you are afraid of!

I have never met anyone from this part of the world.You are gorgeous sweetie.So very nice to meet you

Feb 16, 2009
Feb 16, 2009

Dear Alnagiza

Thanks for sharing the story with us. Here in Botswana we have a serious problem of Domestic Violence because people are scared to talk publicly. We had a DV Act passed at the beginning of 2008 but question becomes how many women will actually use it?? Most of the women put up with abuse for ever and ever here because of the dependance syndrom on the male partners. DV is really a sad story all over the world and it invariable wears a female face. Maybe for us we need advise on strategies that have worked in your country if any to eradicate it


Feb 19, 2009
Feb 19, 2009

Hi dear,

I think this is a very very very good article. Lots and lots of women refuse to report domestic violence or opt to sort it out internally with their relatives, which never works. The more women report, the higher the chances of the authorities recognizing that there is a serious problem in domestic violence that should be dealt with. If we dont report, then they say they cant act on what they dont know. Plus life is too short to live it in fear and suffering. I think women and their children deserve a better deal. Thanks for this article. And I would urge all women to REPORT all cases of assault. There is hope and there is help too1

Svetlana Dmitrieva
May 01, 2010
May 01, 2010

Hi, this story is very usual for Central Asian women. The pessimistic thing that we all know that but most of women can't not step over tradition and mentality. My view is to change mentality. yes, its difficult but without making person think differently you wont benefit as no one as well.

Svetlana From KG -stan with love:)