NOWHERE TO GO AFTER DESERTING HIM,SO I WON'T TALK

Emma Aloka
Posted November 27, 2020 from Kenya

I listen to women while plaiting my hair share their hidden sorrow on how they are being beaten,abuse and tortured just because they arrive home late from their Hussle.  I wonder with the pain I feel and the tears l shade while listening and wonder why?? Why do they only talk after the incidence?? It is because of lack of knowledge of gender violence, fear or lack of where they can call home after deserting that place?? Why don't we tackle the situation by jointly making homes where such women may stay so that no women will fear the aftermath of separation or divorce from abusive relationship inorder to stop the pain and killing. Time has passed when we were decieved that it's only through pain that love would be seen. The errors where we would be treated as children and being misled that we have no voice or any cognitive ability and that we are only best in our kitchens. lt's high time we join forces to stop violence by being our neighbours keeper. The moment you decide to keep quiet for a wail or a scream from your neighbour's beating just remember you are part and parcel for the pain of that woman. Lets be concern and mindful for our fellow women since together we stand together we can stop gender based violence.

This story was submitted in response to Sharing Solutions: Ending GBV.

Comments 5

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Basudha Modak
Nov 27, 2020
Nov 27, 2020

So true ..As long as we don't take a stand together and say this behaviour is not acceptable ,it will not change ..
We will have daily incidences of domestic violence..

Dawn Arteaga
Nov 28, 2020
Nov 28, 2020

Yes - so important to stand together. I stand with you Emma and applaud you for being that supportive and listening ear to another women's pain. Just by being there for them I am sure you made an impact.

jomarieb.earth
Nov 28, 2020
Nov 28, 2020

Dear Emma,
There is nothing lonelier than a woman who has been abused and has nowhere to go. It is a system that is intense and breaks women. Emma, raise your voice when you are listening and plaiting your hair, and speak out. Plant the seed. Often, in the cycle of abuse, "the talk" amongst each other becomes the only refuge. Speak out and let them hear the questions that need to be answered. They are usually too afraid to even think of them. Stand up and point someone in a better direction. Sometimes it's too much to take on the entire crisis. It's always good to take on your own environment, one sister at a time.
Hugs...JoMarie

Karen Quiñones-Axalan
Dec 03, 2020
Dec 03, 2020

These are empowering words, JoMarie. Keep it up!

Karen Quiñones-Axalan
Dec 03, 2020
Dec 03, 2020

Hello, Emma,

Thank you for speaking up. Silence is consent. A woman should feel she has a strong support system to break away from this abuse. No one should shame her for asking for help or for speaking up.

I agree that we need to raise awareness about GBV. Prevention is better than cure. We need to teach this in high school or even younger, "Know the red flags. Here's what you should do." The damage of domestic violence can last a lifetime, not just for the victim/survivor but to the children who witness these incidents as well.

Keep on speaking up! We stand with you!