TALK TO HER, HOLD HER HANDS, SHE MIGHT BE A BEAUTIFUL STORY THAT IS WASTED AWAY

Amonge
Posted March 28, 2019 from Kenya

life is a journey and as well it is a story.long journey for  some of us, short  journey  for some of us,both life's composed of sad and happy stories that makes each of us a beautiful story.if we talk to one another, pray for one in other, hold each others hands then some life's and stories can't end too soon. 

Today I want to talk to you about my mother, beautiful  woman strong ,full of life but strict.Its so anfortunate I can't go back into times and be with her, talk to her, understand her and not judge her, may her soul  rest in peace. 

She died in 2007 from HIV and aids, if I was much older like I am today back then ,then she could  have been so proud of me today, I remember seeing her suffer, at times I could hear her cry in the middle of the night ,she talked to herself, she asked questions and I wondered  what  was wrong  but I was so young  to ask .she could blow her nose till it got blocked, she she woke up in the morning with  her eyes  swollen and red,  her happy soft face turning pale and drowsy and gloomy , slow she was shedding off her weight, then suddenly her house was deserted by her friends. "don't play with Brenda or go to their  house" was a common warning during those times, I only came to realise that they thought that coming to our house or playing with me could make their children sick, then small rashes started forming on her skin, I only knew they were herpes when I was this old, she tried treating  them but they kept reoccurring,her lips turned red then the dark spots  filled her body, she was the talk of the neighbourhood, I could tell that from the gestures  from the people on our way to the market. It reached a point I thought she gave up, she could not stand from her bed, but cry day in day out, then I went to school that was the last day I saw her,when I came back she was rushed to the hospital, I wanted to see her but I was not allowed, only to listen to my grandmother's prayers, asking God to grant her eternal rest, yes that's how she was gone,without good bye, I hated her, why did she leave us ,why.till recently when I completed  my investigation and realised it was not her wish. My mum was stigmatised, she had no shoulder to cry on, it lead to her isolating her self from the community  which claimed she had killed my father with infection (he died in 2002before my mum),the community  which again forced her into wife inheritece, and forced her to shave her hair to mourn my father and appear like a widow. If the community  talked to her, hold her hands she could  be a beautiful  story today.

Stigma is still there in the society today but not as much as it was before.so let's talk, hold hands, touch someone's life let  the become tomorrow's beautiful  story. Because stigma kills more than the infection. 

Comments 16

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Deborah Munyekenye
Mar 29
Mar 29

So touching. So many times we wish we could reverse events in our lives but unfortunately cannot. Soldier on sister. We thank God for your mom`s strength.

Amonge
Mar 29
Mar 29

Thanks so much, if only we could only reverse time, then today we could have been with our loved ones

Jill Langhus
Mar 29
Mar 29

Hi Brendah,

Thanks for sharing your sad story. I'm so sorry you had to go through this, and you're quite right about the stigma. I think she suffered enough without being ostracized on top of it. So sad:-( How old were you? Will you, or do you, work on AIDS awareness and desensitization in your area, and country as well?

Amonge
Apr 01
Apr 01

Hello,
I hope your having a great time,
I was 12by the time of her death back in 2007,Hiv/aids awareness was not much at that time. I would want to work on HIV /Aids awareness and desensitization in my society and country as well,i hope when we come together we can start from somewhere

Jill Langhus
Apr 01
Apr 01

Hello dear,

Wow! You were so young. That must've been very hard for you. Yes, I can see you doing this. I'm looking forward to seeing more stories and updates from you.

Amonge
Apr 01
Apr 01

Hello Jlanghus,
Thanks. Everything is possible.

Jill Langhus
Apr 02
Apr 02

Yes, it is!!

Hello, Brendah,

This is a touching yet painful story. I admire you for your courage to write it. It must be difficult to look back and miss your mother so much.

It’s sad that you’re mother was blamed for the dearh of your father, and how the community made her shave her head and all those suffering she went through when all she needed was empathy and encouragement. Why is the world so cruel to women?

Your mother is proud of you. Thank you for sharing.

Amonge
Apr 01
Apr 01

Hello Karen,
Thanks, yes it took slot of courage, for a long time I have been battling out with me trying to find the cause and everything. But today am so proud of her I understand her and may her soul rest in peace. The world is so cruel on women but if we hold our hands we can change the world and make it a better place for women

Hugs to you, brave sister!

Olutosin
Mar 31
Mar 31

This is a very sad story!
May she rest in peace. Amen

Amonge
Apr 01
Apr 01

Dearest olutosin,
The story is so sad to tell,but I realised the more I talk about it and say it the less I shade tears and time has healed me, today I tell the story without a tear because I get to understand, though it pains me but am proud of her, may her soul rest in peace.

Treena
Apr 11
Apr 11

Hello Amonge, thank you for sharing your story of your Mum. It pains me to hear she was ostracized when all she needed was love and empathy. I am certain she is very proud of you Amonge her brave and beautiful daughter and your father too must also be proud that you grew into a strong and empathic young woman.

Treena

Amonge
Apr 11
Apr 11

Hello Treena,
I want to make them proud by touching more lives.
Thanks so much.

Celine
Apr 11
Apr 11

Hi Amonge,
Your story made me shiver. May her soul find rest in eternity! Stigma kills more and faster than the disease. Good that the years of today have somewhat changed the perceptions.
May every woman facing discrimination and stigmatization around the world get consolation through our voices, have shoulders to cry on, have hands to hold and be touched by milky hands of humanity.
Thank you sister for sharing.
Celine

Amonge
Apr 11
Apr 11

Hello Celine,
Amen, may every woman facing discrimination and stigmatisation around the world get consultation through our voices.
Thanks dear sister