What if we created something nice from calamity?#i just need wings to fly

Amonge
Posted November 26, 2019 from Kenya
When calamity meets change
When calamity meets change: I won't keep silent I will speak, if I get the wings I will fly too. (1/1)

Brendah Awuor amonge  is my name, a 25years old woman, tall dark and determined woman, I reside in nyalenda slums kisumu, kenya. I was born and raised here, imagine a home full of crime, violence and less justice. Can we change that? 

My life is a calamity and am afraid  if I don't use my energy to change it to a better  version, then I will die in my disaster. Growing up I was sexually abused as a child, I speak about it because the people we less expect are those who abuse our children  and we feel embarrassed to speak about it,let justice be served, if I could get a chance today to prove I was abused then pastors will go behind bars, but I don't have, so I will use my voice to help others#mimi sitanyamaza. 

Secondly am a victim of cyber bullying, out of my statement of defending  a fellow woman, I was told I looked like a man, for sometime I felt down,yes they meant to pull me down, I even started putting on makeup  but who was I pleasing any way? Those men who bring women down? No...! Not me Amonge, of cause I look like a man and that's my dad and do I care?  so what I do tell women don't let a man put you down by your own looks, your fearfully and wonderfully made and  you resemble your dad,beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder. 

Am a victim of violence, many years ago I loosed my tooth out of a punch in my mouth by my male classmate in primary  school. No action was taken, I was under a sponsorship  program! If I dared report then out I would  be thrown.  My mouth was sewed and my tooth not replaced. It's my greatest weakness in my body, at times I don't do alot of teeth smiling for the fear of being  questioned  where I took it. Many people have judged me to be violent,ant it caused me to  loose it. I pray that someday  I replace it. But violence in schools should  be stopped too, many kids have gone through  same hardship  but a few only get justice. Kids die in school some killed some depressed! #mimi sitanyamaza 

Imagine becoming  a victim of domestic violence?, something  I once saw only once in my mother's bedroom being beaten by my dad,may her soul  rest in peace,  and prayed it never happened  to me .one of my greatest fears coming to pass, yes a man who I once cared about, shared everything with, called to say  I missed turned me into a punching bag. So painful but I don't keep quiet am not embarrassed  to say I was beaten, I even scream.In my area am the talk even in my neighbors mouth, yes they should  know I get punched and scream for help.I will tell that story till violence ends, many women are afraid  to come out for the fear of being judged. It's either they let the community judge them  or they die, let's speak up until this violence stops. The African misconception of the man is the head of the house must stop, HE is only the head when he treats me with respect and values me,when he provides and find other outlets for his anger rather than my precious body.  Today women also head their houses.If a woman is handled  rightfully then the positive change is large to save the world.lets inspire these fellow women.let them know their worth. 

My experience  with this life has never killed me, and whatever doesn't kill you makes you stronger,today am a responsible mother, today the community that judged me wants to be like me, today am able to speak up without fear  about sexual abuse, domestic violence because they happen, and today if I no longer feel respected I walk out, I believe  I can fly, just fix my wings and let me fly,fly into the skies do away with the nimbus clouds and let the shine sun, that's all from this woman whose life is full of calamity. 

It's Amonge from Kenya. 

This story was submitted in response to The Real Me.

Comments 34

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Karen Quiñones-Axalan
Nov 26, 2019
Nov 26, 2019

Hello, dear Amonge,

You are so brave to share your story. I'm sorry you were sexually abused by church leaders, and that you were bullied for standing up with women. You've been through a lot, yet you arise as a strong, resilient, and courageous woman. I love the last paragraph where you wrote, " The community that judged me wants to be like me". Wow. You found dignity and respect.

Thank you for sharing this, dear. Yes, We stand with you!

Amonge
Nov 26, 2019
Nov 26, 2019

Dear Karen,
Thank you for standing with me, yes the people we least expect to be the abusers are the once that turns into monsters,
I had to stand up for my self because nobody could ,may be if my parents were alive they could have.
It has come to my realisation that when we mind everyone's negative opinion to mould our selves the we can never come out stronger.
At times it's just nice if they talk about you, condemn you hate you for doing the right thing, at last they will want to be like you because your to strong for their stupid arrogance.
Am grateful I joined world pulse.

Tamarack Verrall
Nov 26, 2019
Nov 26, 2019

Dear Brendah,
What a beautiful, strong woman you are, and with such courageous words with such an important message. That despite the many forms of violent abuse, and being belittled for speaking it out, your words open the path for women and girls to read and know that they are not to blame, and can follow your lead. It is an old accusation when a woman is told she looks like a man, or is behaving like a man. It is an attempt to push us to make ourselves smaller and weaker, as they believe a woman should be. I loved reading that you stayed true to your wonderful strong female self. I'm so glad that you are here in World Pulse.

Amonge
Nov 26, 2019
Nov 26, 2019

Hello Tamarack,
Thank you, am so glad am part of world pulse too, am able to tell what I went through and what I became,
Yes many men feel that to demoralise a woman, tell her she looks like a man. To me today that's nothing, yes I look like my dad who is a man.i take ni offence in things meant to belittle me, instade I try and become the best version of what the offenders think will shut me up.
Yes, I want every woman and girl to read, listen and learn from my stories or and take charge, when we women don't stand up for ourselves then no one will bacause everyone believes we are weak, but we are not.

Corine Milano
Nov 26, 2019
Nov 26, 2019

We stand with you, Amonge! Today and every day.

Amonge
Nov 26, 2019
Nov 26, 2019

Thank you Corine, thank you for standing with me. Am glad I have you sisters.

Spiritedsoul
Nov 26, 2019
Nov 26, 2019

Hello,
I’m sorry you experience such a despicable abuse at the hands of church leaders, those who bullied you, and your partner who was also violent. I love your last paragraph and your attitude of resilience and strength.
Hugs,
Jess.

Amonge
Nov 26, 2019
Nov 26, 2019

Hello Jess,
Thank you, am grateful I never let that change me to nothing. Instade we become stronger when we speak and let the world know these things happen and yes it happened to me.
Am grateful that God kept me moving.

Elizabeth Ziro
Nov 27, 2019
Nov 27, 2019

Hi girl, good read there. Whatever doesn't kill you makes you stronger!!! Absolutely, we go through a lot but we need to just push on a little harder. Kudos sister, thanks for sharing and keep going.

Amonge
Nov 28, 2019
Nov 28, 2019

Hello sissy,
Thank you so much, I pray some day I come to Mombasa to meet you, and get some lessons,
Yes whatever doesn't kill us, makes us stronger,harder and tougher.
Hope to see you soon Elizabeth.

Elizabeth Ziro
Nov 28, 2019
Nov 28, 2019

Hi there!
All will be well. See yu soon dear

Jill Langhus
Nov 27, 2019
Nov 27, 2019

Hello Dear Brendah,

I love seeing you emerge stronger, bolder and more outspoken... it's beautiful to behold, love:-) Keeping growing, transforming and flying:-) And, kudos to you for sharing this story and your beautiful, photo, toothless and all... because you're embracing who you are now... scars and all! And, you have realized that you can, and will do better for your future and your son's, too!

Do you feel that you repeated the pattern that you saw or more of what you learned, i.e., that women are weak and thus you felt weaker and that you needed to conform to a certain expectation and mold?

I hope you're doing well, and having a great week, dear!

XX

Amonge
Nov 28, 2019
Nov 28, 2019

Hello sister,
Thank you, and thanks to your advises I never drowned, this today the sky is my hit point, Hehehe so you saw that beautiful space among my teeth, it's a scar that I turned to beauty, I one day want to meet Stephen just to smile on his face showing it to him, that it never killed me.
I have repeated what I learned more than what I saw.
Am having my own nice time, thank you for caring

Jill Langhus
Nov 29, 2019
Nov 29, 2019

Hello there:-)

You're welcome:-)

Yes! I agree:-)

Okay, on what you learned. That's pretty common, I think. But I'm very glad that you're challenging what you learned, because we can always learn new things, beliefs, and patterns. Overcoming trauma is another thing altogether.

You're welcome, dear.

Hope you're having a nice day!

XX

Oluwatoyin Olabisi
Nov 27, 2019
Nov 27, 2019

Dear Amonge,
lets SCREAM it -HE is only the head when he treats me with respect and values me,when he provides and find other outlets for his anger rather than my precious body.
I feel your story sister, Dear you are a beauty to behold.
Keep standing strong
see you at the top
Till then Follow Back

Amonge
Nov 28, 2019
Nov 28, 2019

Dearest Oluwatoyin,
I love your support to scream he is the head when he respects and support you...........etc
A smile formed on my face,we have to gain our respect back, let's make a world a better place for women, gone are the days where the society belittled us, remember what a man can do then a woman can do it better.
Thank you so much, let's keep going till we archive our goals.

Ekitah
Nov 27, 2019
Nov 27, 2019

HI Amonge!
Your story is heart touching. I feel bad you undergo all these truma. Thank God you are still yourself. Problems only make you stronger and don't kill you but braving it is where its not easy . Thank you for being so powerful and thanks for sharing your story with us.

Amonge
Nov 28, 2019
Nov 28, 2019

Dear Elijah,
Thank you, yes if you come out of danger alive, it makes us stronger,
I have realise if you want to be brave, sobber up and realise your self, have a strategy too then your good to go.
Am glad to have you and world pulse sister.

bridggyella
Nov 27, 2019
Nov 27, 2019

Hello Amonge,
Thanks for sharing. You are a strong woman who has gone through lots of ordeal and still stand courageously tall to make a difference and also touch the lives of others.

Keep inspiring us. I stand with you in solidarity.

Keep up the good fight.

Bridget.

Amonge
Nov 28, 2019
Nov 28, 2019

Hello bridggyella,
Am glad to hear I have inspired you, thank you for standing with me.
Yes some things happen in our lives to teach us lessons, to make us stronger and some if we let them they destroy us.

maeann
Nov 27, 2019
Nov 27, 2019

Dear Amonge,

Thank you for having a courage to share your story.

I stand with you. #IStandWithHer

MUKABA ZAWADI
Nov 28, 2019
Nov 28, 2019

Thank you for sharing if a woman is treated with justice, the positive change to operate will be great to save the world.

Amonge
Nov 28, 2019
Nov 28, 2019

Thank you dearest Xanadu for taking such powerful points, spread it for me please ,let women learn from it.
Have a nice Friday.

Amonge
Nov 28, 2019
Nov 28, 2019

Hello Maeann,
Thank you for reading my story, I hope it inspires you.
Nice time

Usha K.C.
Nov 28, 2019
Nov 28, 2019

Hi dear Amonge,
first of all I just loved your beautiful picture which speaks a lot about your inner strength. Sorry to hear about your sad story but happy to know that you now can share your personal story among us so openly.
speak up dear, together we can change.

much love

Amonge
Nov 28, 2019
Nov 28, 2019

Dear Usha ,
Thank you for reading, yes it takes alot of courage and time to speak up, when you speak, know that your healing.
Yes we can change the world,
Nice time.

Wendy Stebbins
Nov 28, 2019
Nov 28, 2019

"You already have wings. All you have to do is fly"

"I think I was born with wings. It just takes awhile to test them. Try not to forget, we have had wings since forever."

Amonge, This is a segment from a new book I am in love with called "I NEEDED THAT RIGHT NOW" by Hoda Kotb. Just wanted to share with you.

Love your picture.

Ubuntu,

Wendy Stebbins

Amonge
Nov 28, 2019
Nov 28, 2019

Hello Wendy,
Thank you so much, then I need to put my wings to test.
Hope you saw my beautiful gup on that picture

Wendy Stebbins
Nov 28, 2019
Nov 28, 2019

You Go Girl !!!

Angel Lasona
Nov 29, 2019
Nov 29, 2019

Ohhh what a wonderful way for you to dealt way despite all those sad experiences that you have encountered dear, new friend here all the way from the , would love to hear from you soon.

Kat Haber
Nov 29, 2019
Nov 29, 2019

Cyberbullying can be so debilitating. I am glad that you have found your own superpower and have grown beyond what others think about you. Trista Sutter has given a TEDxVail Talk about this in her talk The Value of You. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yuewc0-En8M

Sinyuy Geraldine
Dec 04, 2019
Dec 04, 2019

Amonge, what a touching yet courageous story you have told. Yes, pastors can really go behind bars, the silences are many. You are such a beautiful and courageous woman and i hail your courage. Thank you for speaking out so others can speak too. The silence must be broken. Yes, make up does not add to a woman's value in any way. Be yourself. Women go miles hurting themselves only to please men. I stand with you, I stand with her. Stay strong my darling sister.

Akshaya9
Dec 20, 2019
Dec 20, 2019

Hi Amonge,
Hope you doing fine. Thank you for sharing your story, i can feel you of being domestic violence. You are so strong woman to survived all the challenges in your life and have the courage to speak out.

Big hugs dear!

Leonida Odongo
Jan 11
Jan 11

Keep strong sister.Would like to connect with you next time I'm in the lakeside city