Journal #1: My Journey

Posted January 7, 2016 from Romania

As the Preamble to the Constitution of UNESCO declares "since wars begin in the minds of men, it is in the minds of men that the defences of peace must be constructed". It took me 27 years to take back the power over my life and to acknowledge that I am the sole responsible for how my life turns out. For the last six years I have been living in France, Germany and Thailand, after I decided to get out of the comfort zone and move out of Romania. This decision of seeing what else is there came natural when I realised I was becoming my context and I was impregnated with what my environment was providing for me.

Committing to consciously invest in my self-development catalysed my understanding that we are designers of our lives and not victims of our environments. When I was living in Romania, whenever I was excited about starting a project or sharing a dream with my friends, I rarely heard “Yes, go do it!” Most reactions were revolving uncertainty, fear, justifications, etc. This situation is of course, not the gangrene of a country, but the illness of a certain mindset: victimhood.

So many of us believe we are trapped inside our lives, that there is nothing to be done to change our situations and start manifesting our dreams and actually live the lives we choose for ourselves. We hide behind “because”, “but” and “cannot”. The true reality only resides in our minds. That is where personal power draws its sap from. We act in complete and utter coherence with our minds, our system of beliefs that is. So, many women around me believe they are not worthy, they are not enough, they are dependent and fear the consequences of stepping up, fully showing up and expanding into the beautiful, strong, caring and grounded women, that they actually are. I would like to contribute to changing this mindset. My goal is to act as a mirror for most women I meet so that they can realise that what they see in me is who they are. One can only recognise strength and integrity unless one has it for themselves. Through the power of coaching and the practice of mindfulness, I aim to place that mirror in front of every women I meet so that she can see her power, strength and beauty, become it and let it shine. Most women have forgotten to be who they are and took on their roles of mothers, wives, girlfriends, lovers, attending to the needs of others and forgetting to draw their boundaries, think about their well-being, their happiness. We are not the labels that society sticks on us. We are who we choose to be and essentially, we just are. Many women have no clue what they feel, what are their emotions. That is quite dangerous since they sometimes become conflictual and place the responsibility of their well-being on their children, spouses, friends, employers - they become the ones who ghouls provide for them what they forgot to offer themselves: love, esteem and respect. From where I am standing, decreasing domestic violence is directly related to empowering women and assisting them to make a conscious choice in regard to the situation they find themselves in.

My newly created fashion brand, DAS MATIA, aims to create T-shirts from organic cotton with organic silk embroidery for all women who want to take a stand for who they are. The T-shirts read “I am” and “I feel” and the customer has the opportunity to attribute an adjective/noun to those statements; for example ”I am love”. They are empowered to take back responsibilities for who they are and how they want to be perceived. Customers also receive a 30 minutes complementary coaching session with me and 20% off all coaching packages. 30% of the profit is invested in buying medical equipment that is donated to hospitals in Prahova, the county I come from in Romania. Surely, the state should have taken care of that, but that is not the case in Romania. We have talented doctors who lack the resources of doing their jobs and meeting their fullest potential professionally speaking. To me, that is a form of violence. And if the state turns a blind eye on this situation, I will start small and hopefully others will support me in the quest for equality and quality public healthcare.

In terms of resources, I will need financial support for all the paperwork and legal aspects of setting up the brand and the NGO that will work on women empowerment and peace education with a focus on public healthcare. I am supported by my friends and my professional network and am sure that once launched, the project will receive a lot of attention from the national media.

I have started this project because I have only recently realised that life has been happening to me and I have been living in reaction to it. I chose to step out of the victimhood and start creating the life I want to. That is why I would like to also share this journey with other women who might be feeling they are not happy with their lives and are committed to making a change. Being on this path I have received enormous encouragement and I have met so many wonderful people who taught me a lot about the power of vulnerability and welcomed me to be my authentic self. There is no greater gifts that I could offer, but being able to accept myself and those around me fully, wholeheartedly. And this only begins to be possible once you commit to be true to who your are and be in the service of others.

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