ARE AVERAGE INDIAN WOMEN SHY SHAKY OR SCARED ?

Anisha Dutta
Posted November 8, 2019 from India

  Are Average Indian Women Shy, Shaky or Scared?                      

                                                                                                               Anisha Dutta

 

The Title may seem ridiculous. Factually Women are neither shy, nor shaky nor scared. Indian Society wishes and compels average women to act shy, shaky or scared. ‘Shyness’ is considered to get associated with modesty of a woman, which is a stupidity.

   Compared to Men, Women are better sex being kind and compassionate by nature. But as women are physically weaker sex, they ate compelled to restrict themselves from free movement under pressure of male dominated society. In India any girl from adolescence stays afraid of sexual abuse. They are scared because of brutality of wicked males. Otherwise they are free-minded and brave. ’Fear’ is not at all an instinct of woman, so that any such stigma could be attached to women.

      In India, from very childhood a girl is trained to be back at home within scheduled time not late at night. She is not allowed to go anywhere any time like boys. On emergency she should be escorted. She is criticised to break the norm of wearing traditional dresses. A girl is put in strict enclosure of rows of fences with lots of prohibitions. A girl is taught to fear outer world. Now a days, parents are scared to let young daughters move freely as day by day crime and violence against women are increasing. Solution lies on the fundamental concept ‘Educate the boys to behave good honouring girls.’

Indian heritage instructs a girl always to be polite not raising voice but to surrender and sacrifice. The idea is that a beautiful family could be built up only by selfless service of a woman. In that case woman dedicating her life without self-care will be destroyed. Modern civilization will declare ‘Most beautiful family will be built up by joint service of Men and Women, not by sacrifice of wife or mother or sister or daughter.’      

   After a certain age naturally, a girl becomes attractive to a boy. Society has put barriers on girls to avoid sexual abuse or rape outraging modesty of women. Society thinks women should be restricted but don’t think that men should be controlled. Problem is not the free movement of women, but the real problem is the atrocity of men. Men are to be trained to act and interact proper paying due respect to women.

     Traditional Hindu Proverb ‘Shyness is an ornament of a woman’ warns a woman not to be bold and loud. Male chauvinism declares ’Courage of woman invites danger in society. How? A woman is endangered by attack of devils. Rapists have licence to attack women at any opportune moment, so women should be imprisoned! In India rapists are hardly punished. On contrary responsibility of crime goes to helpless victim. If a woman behaves shy, scared devoid of courage, adamant arrogant man gets the advantageous status to dominate.

      FEAR does not reside in minds of women, but it exists in surroundings. Now women are progressing achieving higher education, availing of new working opportunities, getting more and more exposures. Automatically darkness of outer world is getting removed. Stepping out of domestic arena women are now facing broad spectrum. Her venture should be smooth to attain her goal not to be oppressed or suppressed by abuses or glass ceiling.

    A woman should be provided a safe and secured society. All Men are not tormentors or rapists and a single Man should not be a rapist or abuser. A Perfect Gentleman is polite, courteous, courageous and compassionate and pays respect to woman. Abusers in working places are not uncommon. Yet good co-workers and colleagues must outnumber the wicked guys. Nice Men should also raise voice if a Woman be found to be tortured.

     Since Co-Education is continuing, unnecessary fear of interaction with opposite sexes is driven out. Co-education is the prime prop where boys and girls grow up simultaneously as competitors, friends with genuine fellow feelings. From childhood boys should be trained to respect and help the weaker sex. Men are physically strong to protect and support women not to overpower. Both the sexes should advance cooperating and assisting each other. They may be contestants but surely not opponents.

     In family, study-circle, working place or in any social field JOINT JOURNEY with GENDER EQUITY is mandatory for successful progress in Human Civilization.

    

  

This story was submitted in response to #IStandWithHer.

Comments 13

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Anita Shrestha
Nov 08
Nov 08

Dear Sister
You are saying true things, even in Nepal we are facing same problem

Anisha Dutta
Nov 08
Nov 08

Anita
You are young. I am senior citizen. In our young days few girls could have opportunity for higher education and very few opted for jobs. The term 'Feminism' was completely unknown to us. For myself being a talented daughter of a renowned scientist, I got higher education. But my basic instinct led me to hold the fundamental concept that ' Every human being whether male or female must her own bread.'
Now girls are getting education but boys are not morally educated. Why Eve teasing is increasing ? Wicked boys think that they have the right to humiliate girls using abusing language or assaulting or outraging modesty. Those are entertainments of that group of criminals. THEY ARE NOT PUNISHED. So crime is going higher.

Lisbeth
Nov 08
Nov 08

Dear Aunty Anisha,
I loved this your comment. Senior citizen haha! We glad to have a lots of senior citizen here at least you will coach us. Thanks for sharing and best wishes on your submission.
Have a great weekend and take care of yourself as usual.
Liz

Anisha Dutta
Nov 09
Nov 09

Thanks n Blessing. Always have faith on yourself. This is the key to be powerful. Go ahead with your head erect.

Lisbeth
Nov 09
Nov 09

Noted! Will do exactly that!
Thanks and have a great weekend.
Hugs

Jill Langhus
Nov 08
Nov 08

Hi Anisha,

Good luck with your story submission!

XX

ANJ ANA
Nov 10
Nov 10

Dear Anisha,
Thank you for sharing such a crucial issue. Definately, the practice and our social norms for making every girl/women more altert and responsible for the prestege of family. She is expected not to go beyond the social boundries those set by patriarchy. There are several long list for girl/women for dos and don'ts. But the time is changing and girls are also given the oppertunity for education and exposure but still limited. Girls are still loosing oppertunity for boys as they are still known as '' Paraya Dhan''. Boys are given the preferences if there is limited resources. I love your points ''Educate the boys to behave good honouring girls'' and '' Nice men also should raise vioce if a women be found to be tortured'' and Gender equity is mandatory for successful progress in Human Civilization'', i agree and will surely follow these to consider is in the work.
So happy to have your presence here and would like to read you more and benefited with your rich experience.
best regards,
anjana

Anisha Dutta
Nov 10
Nov 10

I'm Anisha not Anita.
Anyway, you know so far the crimes are concerned, in India 70% are related to crime against women as abuses, molestation, domestic violence, rape , murder, killing of female fetus, oppressing and suppressing, not allowing to enjoy fundamental human rights etc. If Women be given due respect, 70% crimes will be abolished. We will get a better country.
Outlook of male chauvinism always to dominate and overpower women has to be changed. In rural ares most girls are getting school education but not allowed to go to college and are compelled to get married under eighteen.
In city, girls are getting higher education and more exposure. They are also availing different choices of jobs. But I am sorry to say the working places and the environment are not totally safe and secure in all cases. Even in high profile jobs, women are still victims of glass-ceiling.
Wicked people and criminals will survive all along, but they are much less in number. If nice men be also more active to fight against crimes of women, I think radical change will come up.

ANJ ANA
Nov 10
Nov 10

Dear Anisha,
Kindly accept my sincere apology for a typo. I have corrected it above.
Yes, I completely agree with you that if, girls/women be given due respect the rate of crimes will be very low or abolished. we have the same situation in our country too. Lack of equal opportunity, dowry system and son preference, child marriage is being highly practiced and these are causing the all voilence against women in the society.
best regards,
anjana

Usha K.C.
Nov 13
Nov 13

Dear Anisha,
These kind of things happening in our community are due to deep rooted conservative thoughts . Education in some way can eradicate such bad culture but we some time experience such bad culture from so called educated people.
Awareness and empowerment must necessary .

keep sharing keep empowering

Anisha Dutta
Nov 13
Nov 13

To think women as inferior sex is embedded in Indian Society. Even in newly married modern couple where both husband and wife are equally educated, husband thinks himself superior to his wife and expects wife should obey him in every matter. HE will enjoy ans SHE should serve. Bit that is neither desirable nor practicable.

Usha K.C.
Nov 14
Nov 14

yeah exactly the same here in Nepal too. but one thing I also blame women is that no girl wants to marry with junior or less educated boy/ man. She always wants more educated , independent and senior to her to marry. So she always should obey him in every matter.

Anisha Dutta
Nov 14
Nov 14

Usha ,
you are so right. Boys also do not agree to marry girls more educated than them. On their point of view, they feel shaky , there may be problem to dominate wife. Root cause is the same, Men think themselves always superior to women. This concept is still embedded in mind of girls also owing to long drawn Indian tradition. Regarding educational status couple should be more or less parallel, otherwise inferiority complex develops. But this is true for both the sexes. If a highly educated man marries a woman with much less education, same problem can arise. Successful marriage will come up with parity of education and culture. But the basic fact is that EQUAL RESPECT FOR EACH OTHER SHOULD RUN.