My Thoughts about Women’s Day
After a long and very stressful day at the office, I went to unwind and attend a Rotary meeting so I could have a change of scenery. The presenter talked about his experience during and after the Genocide. I was not attentive because my mind was busy criss-crossing into different directions. So after the meeting, we normally sit at a table and catch up. Tuesday is our Friday at the Rotary Club of Wandegeya, we laugh, tease each other and let loose. For some reason even at the “kimeza” my mind was not settled. I kept thinking about the activities I had planned for women’s day, kept wondering where the funding for these activities would come from and then I would remember the obligations that I had, here and there hmmmmmm so my mind would not let me rest.
As I drove home listening to more calm music on the radio, I thought about this journey of discovery, called earthly existence. The balls being thrown at me keep getting bigger and bigger as the years progress. Is this what growing up is all about? What would have life been if I had remained a child, what would life have been if my dad was still alive. Many times I need a man’s opinion and the one man whose opinion I truly miss is long gone. I kept wishing I had his whatsapp number, but he left us before whatsapp was invented.
Eventually when I got home and was ready to go to bed, my mind was still busy wondering on, “What is women’s Day?’ Is it a day that women come together just to celebrate this one day of freedom from oppression, is it a day women get to talk about their problems and come up with solutions, is it a day we discuss policies and laws that favor women. Fine, if it is all this, then what happens to the rest of the days of the year?
As a woman, a mother, a wife, a sister and a daughter, for me women’s day is every day. Yes I appreciate we have a day that recognizes us as the female gender, and thank God it is actually a public holiday because then we can get enough rest and if we are lucky, we can be served breakfast in bed often by our most beloved.
Experience has taught me that the roles of women are multiple; we have to make sure our homes are in order at all times, that the children are healthy. If your child is not well, your mind as a mother can never be settled at work or wherever you might be. As a woman you have to make sure there is food at home. No one really wants to hear about the daily struggles that we go through as women, but these struggles are real. We might look good, dress well, smile, be kind but deep down in our hearts, we have struggles only us can imagine.
I remember when I was at campus, my mother was going through a lot and I didn’t know. I was super excited to be on campus studying LAW; my mother never allowed me to be “broke”. Every time I was broke and called her, she came running with money for me and always told me to tell her when I needed money. I later realized that she never wanted me to be a victim of the so called “sugar daddies”. After campus and Law Development Centre when the reality of “Job hunting” hit me so hard, that is when I realized the struggles my mother went through as a single parent.
She had mortgaged our house to invest in her transportation business and to pay my fees and up keep at campus and LDC. The two other directors in the company had not contributed much or had not risked as much as she had. They were comfortable in their homes and were not really bothered if the company made any profit or not. There was a weekend it was just me and my mother in the house, my siblings were in boarding school and we had tea and bread the entire weekend. The money she had that week was to pay for my brother who was doing a diploma program in Kyambogo University. She explained to me and I really didn’t mind, I kept consoling myself that I was trying to keep my waist line intact.
For me the struggles and challenges of women go beyond women’s day and so as women we should celebrate the successes we have every day. For me going through each alive and making it to the next day is an achievement. I might not accomplish my tasks or goals for the day nor had all solutions to my problems for that day, but I made it through.
Some days can be really hard that we regret why we were born to suffer but that is what makes us strong as women. The kind of material or clay that God used in creating a woman cannot be cloned and probably the Chinese will die trying to create a woman. We are not ordinary beings, God gave us the rib of a man and he never gave man anything from us that alone shows us that we can achieve whatever we set our minds and hearts to do.
Whenever you feel down casted, always remember you have Adams rib; you are as fierce as a lion, tiger and jaguar combined. Your impact in this world is beyond words and human comprehension. Thus, by the very material that we are made of, “Quitting is not an option, success is our birthright”.
In as much as no one can understand what we are going through, we have to hold our heads high and march through the days of the week being grateful for life and hoping that the latter days will be greater than the former. We need to make sure we teach our children the beauty of life, and also that life could be hard sometimes, but we are harder, that there will be days when you want to quit but as long we are there as their mothers, “quitting is not an option”. So for me women’s day is every day and it should be the same for you.
To all women who are making a huge impact in their families, communities and the world, I SALUTE YOU and I wish you divine protection and best wishes always!
Always remember that “Quitting is not an option and Success is your birthright.”Change starts with a story.