When boss proposed me..........................................

Anita Shrestha
Posted September 12, 2019 from Nepal
Aware to girl about sexual harassment
Girls of village

When I was 19 years old aged innocent girl, I passed ISc forestry. Being poor economic background of family, I had to do job but I must leave home and go to remote and away for getting forestry related jobs. Therefore, generally, people used to say that forestry is a hard job for women but I didn't believe it and I thought always positive. Meantime I came to know a job vacancy in very remote area which was 14 hours long drive distance from capital city Kathmandu and Kathmandu is located 8-hour drive distance from my home. Anyway, due to my family situation I applied for job, and went there for interview by night bus. I reached there after 14 hours at 1:00 pm. I was so tired due to long drive but immediately I went to the office which called me for interview of the vacant post for contact. Head of the office called me after 5:00 pm to contact him. I went the office little bit earlier to meet him after the office time. He proposed me for night stay at the office guest house which was located in office premises. Therefore, I put my bag in a room of the guest house and managed to all things there. One support staff of the office called me at 5:00 pm and said to come down as the head was waiting for me. In January usually dark happens quite earlier than other seasons so that at 5:00 it was little darkening. Then, I went to down with a bit fear in my mind so I stayed outside whereas the head (boss) was standing inside the door. He started to talk me indirectly to fulfill his physical desire and he said me that he would give questions prepared for tomorrow exam if I accepted his propose. I became so afraid and I looked outside and prayed to be somebody there to support me if anything happened from the boss. Therefore, I felt unsecured and my heartbeat was so fast. Then, I prayed God to save my life. It was being much dark as if nothing could see in front. He continued talk giving many examples name of past of many beautiful girls they fulfilled his demand so that girls got many opportunities, scholarship, and promotion in senior post. Look! Those girls are in the USA due to his support. Look! those girls are in senior post due to his grace. Therefore, he said," Take opportunity, this is a golden opportunity for passing tomorrow exam. Please come inside and see the questions in the computer. I will show you questions and guide you how to answer it.”

Few people had access to computer in those day in Nepal. Therefore, I had no idea of computer operation but I had heard that desk top could not open without electricity power. There was load shading (power cut) at that time so that I was sure the computer was not in operation and I did not enter in the room. Meantime he became so angry and said “What types of nonsense girl you are, as I want to give opportunity but you didn't agree my proposal.” Then I became so fear and suddenly I said “I will come later because now I am so hungry, I need to go to hotel for eat somethings.” Saying that I ran to hotel quickly which was nearby the office. Luckily, at the hotel, I met one senior sister whom I knew and who had also come with her husband and a little baby for the interview of same position for which I applied. Then I said to her all the conversion happened with the boss and she said me to stay with her that night. Coincident, there was double bed in her room. When I entered to her room, a support staff of the office came and called me again. He said “The boss has called me.” Then I became so fear again and looking my gesture, the sister angrily said to the support staff "Anita will not come to the office, she will stay with us.” Then, the staff shouted and said " I don't know, what happens to you if my boss became angry''. In this way, I saved my life from the notorious boss in the night in unknown new place. Then, in the next morning, I returned home without attending interview. Still, the boss is a senior position of a reputed organization of Nepal, and he has a great name and fame, but I hate him in his duel controversial image to the society.

Comments 20

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Hello, Anita,

I love the photo on this post. I hope these girls are empowered to make wise decisions in their lives, and not succumb to indecent proposals. Thank you for sharing.:)

Anita Shrestha
Sep 13
Sep 13

Yes,

Jill Langhus
Sep 13
Sep 13

Hello Anita,

Wow! Thanks for sharing this post. You were so brave, even though you were so scared. I would've been, too, but I'm so glad that you were wise to his nonsensical proposals. No one has ever reported this famous "boss" before, or people have and it goes on deaf ears? This man needs to be stopped. Think of how many girls/women have fallen prey to his proposals:-( He probably wasn't lying when he said about how many girls/women he's been with.... yuck!

Anita Shrestha
Sep 14
Sep 14

He said women name who accepted his proposal in the past. Therefore, that woman could get in big position and scholarship. In that time, in that office no women boss only men boss. One was foreigner boss and under that Nepali boss who wanted to do violence me. I heard that foreign boss also had same behavior. That foreign boss made pregnant to one tribal poor girl who was serving to him in his kitchen dailiy work. She did abortion of 2 pregnancies cases. She shared that case to her villagers. And all tribal groups came to attack him. And finally, he married to that girl. Now, I heard that girl is in foreign country. But I don't know what is her condition.

Jill Langhus
Sep 16
Sep 16

Wow:-( I thought they were just false promises, too, on top of being entirely inappropriate.

Great:-( How horrible. Well, I'm glad that the villagers approached that foreign boss, but does the girl really want to be married to that "man?" She's no longer with him, then?

Lisbeth
Sep 13
Sep 13

Dear Anita,
Give me hi five for your bravery. I hope you are on your way to the other young girls to follow your footsteps. I am very proud of you.
Have a great weekend.

Millynairi
Sep 14
Sep 14

Anita, thanks for sharing your story. I'm glad you prayed. Now, honestly this man needs to be stopped. As I read this I was just wondering how many innocent girls have fallen victims and gave in because of their desperate situations of being so much in need of a job and probably not having the courage to say NO! The man needs to be stopped forthwith! He is a danger to the society, taking advantage of his position. I'm glad you didn't give in Anita.

Anita Shrestha
Sep 15
Sep 15

Dear Millynairi
Basically old boss is more dangerous than young boy.

ANJ ANA
Sep 15
Sep 15

Dear Anita ji,
Thank you for sharing your experience. Its pity that women have to face various kind of challenges during their struggle for employment. I liked the way you dealt with it with your courage and presence of mind. I am just very angry with that kind of boss, who want to get privilege from young girls in the name of employment, just thinking what would be that person's behaviour and his workplace for women and girls. I just hope and wish to have the safest workplaces for our all girls.
Best regards,
anjana

Anita Shrestha
Sep 15
Sep 15

Thank you. Yes in Nepal, many girls are facing similar problem. In that time, no maturity and experience for tackling skills with them. Therefore, it can higher possible to fall in sexual violence.

Tarke Edith
Sep 15
Sep 15

Hi Anita
Thanks for making a decision . That is why you are able to teach this others so that they should be strong in decision making when it comes to this sexual harrasmen from men thanks for sharing.

Anita Shrestha
Sep 15
Sep 15

Yes, now I am teaching to girls about that.

Samanthah
Sep 17
Sep 17

eishh this boss needs to be stopped,think of how many women are falling prey to his tricks....

you did a good thing by fleeing

Anita Shrestha
Sep 17
Sep 17

Thank you for sharing

Anita Shrestha
Sep 17
Sep 17

Yes most of the boss are in this position

Anita Shrestha
Sep 19
Sep 19

Thank you all for seeing my story

Tamarack Verrall
Sep 20
Sep 20

Dear Anita,
How brave of you to refuse this dangerous offer, and how kind that another woman gave you a place to stay. This kind of situation happens far too often and sadly you were not able to follow a career path that should have been open to you. By telling your story you expose once again this trap set for too many of us women as we simply try to apply for work that should be available to us. Thank you for telling your important story. The photo is beautiful.

Anita Shrestha
Sep 27
Sep 27

Dear Tamarack
Thank you for being active in all time

Kadi_lokule
Sep 29
Sep 29

Your story brought tears to my eyes. I had a collegue who faced the same every job interview she went for she was being asked for sexual favors in order to secure the job and when she would refuse, she would be abused and told she wasn't clever enough to get one anywhere. It is a pity. I am happy you are safe please stay safe my sister. Be strong as you are. Be blessed

Anita Shrestha
Sep 30
Sep 30

Dear
yes it is reality in all over the world. Thank you for sharing about real condition.