Ready for Character Assassination?

Anum Shakeel
Posted September 16, 2019 from Pakistan

Congratulations! It's a baby girl, said Doctor to parents!

The story of almost every girl. When the parents heard this news that she is a girl, first comment from the grand parents came "We thought it's a boy" or "We expect boy from our daughter in law" Now, the real struggle begins from here for the parents of the girl and specially mother of a girl.

Here comes are aunty (phopo) of the family and said “Oh it’s a girl, you better be very careful in her upbringing. Girls are very difficult to raise in our society. What I suggest I have a 5 year old son let’s tie their knot. They will be bound and your girl will not be able to slip from your hands. As you are my brother only that’s why I am offering you this. Else I won’t. The father of the girl said Yes!

Time passes and girl is now school going. She got first position in her class but she always listen this that these numbers won’t work for you, you need to learn how to make food, how to do laundry, how to wash dishes etc. She is doing house hold after her classes also now. From class one to Matric she is position holder and now got admission in college.

Now girl is 16 years old and studying in 11th grade and the boy is 10th grade pass and have left his education by saying that I am a boy and it’s enough education for me.

The girl is studying in college and want to continue but family pressure is started of getting married. Mother intervene and said let her complete her college. Now she is a position holder and getting scholarship in the leading University. Now, she wants to avail this opportunity.

Assassination 1: She don’t want to get married because she thinks she is educated now and she don’t want to listen her parents. There might be something fishy.

She is studying day and night to become the position holder in her class and want to pursue her dreams of becoming successful woman. Result is announced and she have actually did it! Hurray, she is the proud daughter winning Silver Medal. And 2nd position in University.

Assassination 2: OMG! Position holder? She is not that intelligent, she is a girl, she don’t know how to make good tea how she can get good grades, Aunty of the family. She might have some relation with her Professor. There must be some under the table talk.

Parents are proud on her and listen all the taunts just to make their daughter strong. Now, the girl is strong because of the support from parents. Assassination 3: The parents broke the childhood relation and aunty is saying to the parents, you are doing wrong, your girl will teach you a listen and she will ran away with some boy one day as she thinks her something.

This girls with the big dreams want to become an Engineer/ Doctor/ Corporate Woman/ Actor/ Lawyer. She is pursuing her career with flying colors and working in an MNC she is on the leading position and giving her maximum time to complete the work, meet the deadlines and managing with male dominant culture. Yes! She did it again, she is being promoted, her hard work paid off.

Assassination 4: From the co-workers she is a girl that’s why she is promoted, she must have some relationship with Boss. You remember she was sitting late at the office? Oh that’s the reason she got promoted, Boss and this girl have affair. And the story goes on!

Ahh! These are few points that every girl faced in her life. We have numerous character assassination attacks on us. Poor society. On this Girls Day! I wish we can support girl child. We need to create a better environment for our girls. Hoping for the bright future.

 

This story was submitted in response to GirlForce: Unscripted and Unstoppable.

Comments 16

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Jill Langhus
Sep 16
Sep 16

Hello Anum,

How are you doing, dear? Oh, this is sad:-( I agree that we need to create a better, trusting, supportive environment for girls. Thanks for sharing your post and bringing awareness to this challenging topic.

I hope you're doing well and having a great day!

XX

Anum Shakeel
Sep 17
Sep 17

Hi Jill, I am fine. This is my thought for the International Girls Day. It's not my story. I have face some of them but I fought with them and still fighting with it. I usually try to give positive vibes through my post. But this time I tried to speak the dark side of the journey of a girl :)

Jill Langhus
Sep 18
Sep 18

Hello Dear:-)

Good to hear.

I see. Thanks for clarifying. Good to hear that, too! Yes, the dark side is also important to hear to shed more light on the situation, to create solidarity and solutions, but also to build awareness.

Hope you have a good, rest of the week and weekend, dear.

XX

Anita Shrestha
Sep 16
Sep 16

Dear Anum
Yes it is happening in our Nepal also. Same things happen in every where why so happen. Thank you for sharing.

Anum Shakeel
Sep 18
Sep 18

It's very hard to except but we are more criticized by women then men. Women is enemy of women in most cases. We need to support each other and pull each other. We need to listen each other. I don't have words to explain when a daughter in law is traumatized by her mother in law, when a school girl is bullied by other girls, when female office going girl is taunted by other female colleagues. Ahh. that's why I feel better when we share our thoughts here and motivate each other to live atleast

Tumanjong Miranda
Sep 16
Sep 16

Dear Anum,
My heart bleeds when girls are devalued. It's like a common problem everywhere in the world. Thanks for sharing.

Anum Shakeel
Sep 18
Sep 18

Thanks Tumanjong!

Tumanjong Miranda
Sep 18
Sep 18

You're welcome sister.
Hope you're having a great day? :-)

Lisbeth
Sep 16
Sep 16

Thanks Annum, for your nice attitudinal comparism between a girl and a boy. This is really the vivid Truth in our society nowadays.
And it makes giving birth to a kid a burden. Thanks for sharing once again.

Anum Shakeel
Sep 18
Sep 18

It's very hard to except but we are more criticized by women then men. Women is enemy of women in most cases. We need to support each other and pull each other. We need to listen each other. I don't have words to explain when a daughter in law is traumatized by her mother in law, when a school girl is bullied by other girls, when female office going girl is taunted by other female colleagues. Ahh. that's why I feel better when we share our thoughts here and motivate each other to live atleast

Ajenganyi Solange
Sep 17
Sep 17

Thanks Anum for bringing this long existing truth. Quite touching. I grew with a stereotype of girls not having anything to offer in the society. But when I read the stories of great women in Africa who turn their challenges into opportunities, my mindset changed for the better. I said to myself "I'm famale doesn't mean I'm a failure. Yes, I'm an achiever, talented, resilient and a go getter. I'm simply female and much more.

Anum Shakeel
Sep 18
Sep 18

Agreed. It's painful indeed but we have to survive, thrive and live. It's very hard to except but we are more criticized by women then men. Women is enemy of women in most cases. We need to support each other and pull each other. We need to listen each other. I don't have words to explain when a daughter in law is traumatized by her mother in law, when a school girl is bullied by other girls, when female office going girl is taunted by other female colleagues. Ahh. that's why I feel better when we share our thoughts here and motivate each other to live atleast :)

Hello, sister Anum,

How creative you are on your storytelling. I enjoyed reading your post although the content is a sad one. Women leaders fight harder to be in position, and they fight more to keep that position. On the other hand, they deal with the numerous assassinations left and right.

Thank you for sharing this post. Yes, let's support the girl child. :)

ANJ ANA
Sep 19
Sep 19

Dear Anum,
Its pity that women are facing all the allegations for giving birth to a girl and being a girl child. In each and every step (from very time to her birth to education, work and any decisions as you mentioned in your article), she is facing the obstacles, humiliation, and challenges, thus when she in power, she wants to practice the same as those all things is normal for her to hear and being practiced since long. It’s the patriarchal system that is making women vulnerable and keeping the patriarchy in her deep-rooted mindset. So, we have to learn and be compassionate to girls/ women at least from our own initiative, so that every girl/ woman feels as normal being and not cursing for her own life. I hope to see one day girl will be enjoying being herself and women are celebrating for girl’s birth one day.
If you have some time, you may read my post on the similar issue :
https://www.worldpulse.com/voices-rising/stories/nepal-i-love-my-daughte...

love and regards
anjana

Tamarack Verrall
Sep 20
Sep 20

Hello Anum,
Thank you for this post and for saying it like it is. And yes it is all too true that women can be so hard on other women and girls. I believe that it is a complicated mess of women being protected if they take these stands, and of women being jealous of any of us breaking free to live independently, and break through barriers they have assumed were our only options. Mothers in Law have been taught to believe that daughters in law will be heir servants. It is painfully sad to see brilliant girls held back. I love that through your story your focus stays on the brilliance of the girl as your main message to girls everywhere.

Anum Shakeel
Sep 23
Sep 23

Thank you Ma'am Tamarack!