Self care very necessary

Araba
Posted March 2, 2017 from Ghana

I took a walk down memory lane on my quest to impact my community and every young person that I come into contact with. I believe that every human being has a purpose to play and needs others to guide them. I have decided to bring out the best in every person that I come into contact with. I know we all have times when we want to give up, but when we are encouraged it lights a path for us and make us want to continue. These are some of the golden moments we encounter when things seem murky, and suddenly we find someone who believes in us and from nowhere shines the torch for us to see.

I have always asked, who shines the torch for me to see! Who brings the golden moments in my life when I feel burned out and defeated? When am defeated by my own self-doubt and let downs from others? I don’t have to lose sight that on this path that I have taken there are lots of people who will flash the red light, saying clearly I should mind my own business! Some people may not see the reasons why I want to give a thorough education on abortion and its pros and cons. Some even misunderstand me and presume I am promoting abortion. I laugh and ask, are we giving a comprehensive reproductive health education or we are doing a selective one! There is nothing wrong sharing and giving out information. There are times I fight within myself, I tell myself I don’t have what it takes etc but another voice nudges me on.

I know some people called it quits because they could not stand the heat of the adversaries, they ran away because they did not want their names to go down because of culture, religion and some beliefs. Others thought they were not supposed to come out of the societal box because they were too daring or outspoken because of a change they wanted to bring, but the opposition in them and outside was too much for them to carry. Others thought it better they survive than get stressed out with their plans to bring a change. They bowed out due to frustrations by opposers who do not want the status quo to change in their community. Others did not know what to do. But to the strong willed, we will not be disturbed by anything. We see opposers as trivial. The amount of satisfaction we get from positively impacting on our community with information and knowledge cannot be measured against the work of opposers and detractors!

In my crazy way to impact my world, I said to myself the road will be murky and tough as a change maker, there will be misunderstanding and criticism, there will be self-doubt and might even want to give up. Oh yes, I must create my own rhythm and dance to it. I told myself that I need self-care, even as I have decided to shine the torch for others, what about me? Who will shine the torch for me? I need to design my own, borne out of my experience and the experience of others! To reflect me and what will suit my environment. In turbulent times, when I feel burned out, wrung dry and need to recharge, I look down memory lane at some of the women who are making impacts in their communities. I look at their style and their confidence even when people are misunderstanding them. I look at them and tell myself to curve out my own style to suit my situation. I must carve out that space that I can survive even when the trusted flee, and I feel like almost giving up. I must carve out my style to suit me without having to copy anybody elses. I have to carve out something that will work for me and urge me on. I decided not to let anything bother me, whether or not it’s a mistake, mistakes are part of life to shape us and develop our character to make us better. I started to read quotes for confirmation and inspiration every morning. I borrowed the popular quote do your best and leave the rest to God. I exercise whenever I am stressed out. When I am at work and I feel my ideas have been almost defeated I go into the washroom and say some positive affirmations for myself. I visit the pages of other women to read more about them. This also inspires me on. My first weapon is prayer, it simply calms me down, whenever I believe there is a supreme God who has my back.

Truly, I need self-care, I cannot give up when I face false criticism from anyone, even from within the community where I want to create change. I can’t give up when I hear criticism from fellow women. I can’t give up when my own ideas are not following the norm and out of tune. I can’t give up when I fall flat on my face with my own ideas. No, I must march on, because this is what shapes me. I can’t be bothered by everything, if I call myself a change maker. I have to carry my own torch at times. I have to carry my own sunshine to dance to the rhythm and make merry even on a rainy day. I may feel beaten at times, my focus and ideas and initiatives may be getting me nowhere. I cannot run away but I can dance to my own rhythm even in murky situations, because my own sunshine will do the trick for me!

I want to create a space in my community and country where likeminded young women can come together, share their struggles and express themselves and get encouragements from other sister change makers. It will always be good to share their similar stories and offer encouragements wherever need be. I believe when we get a like-minded sister to shine the torch for us, we see better. When they laugh with us we laugh best and the laughter comes back to us anytime we find ourselves in similar situations. When they cry with us, the tears dry up faster because it shows that they are in solidarity. And when they criticize us we know they are correcting us, to bring out the best in us with no malice. That will be the best self-care I will need and the best ever to be available to me. This is because self-care is a necessary luggage that I will need in my journey as a change maker.

This story was submitted in response to Self-Care.

Comments 15

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Jill Langhus
Mar 03, 2017
Mar 03, 2017

Hi Araba. What a noble mission you have there:) I was just going to suggest that you need a support group of like-minded individuals that can support and encourage you; to fill your cup, too. When are you going to create your group? You could also create a Facebook group or join one, too. Good luck to finding your soul tribe and to continuing your work.

Araba
Mar 10, 2017
Mar 10, 2017

Hello jlanghus, 

Good to hear from you. I have started a feecbook page to bring  young women who are passionate and crazy to make a difference in their communities.We want to share ideas and encourage our selves as part of "self care". i will be glad to join any other like minded young women platform if you have one for me.

Jill Langhus
Mar 10, 2017
Mar 10, 2017

Oh, good:) That's good to hear. I love this group and the tools that she has to offer:https://www.facebook.com/groups/SimplySpiritSupport/. I am part of others, but they have even more of a spiritual slant to them. If you are interested in those, you can private message me, I can send them to you. Good luck and keep us posted on your progress:)

Anj RS
Mar 09, 2017
Mar 09, 2017

Dear Araba

You are strong and definitely have what it takes! You are also right that self care is necessary. I believe that it's only when we take care of ourselves that we can have the strength and energy to take care of others. 

It's great that you are already thinking ahead, preparing and making sure that you will have someone who shines the torch for you or who supports you to switch on the torch. 

Like jlanghus mentioned - there are self care groups that you could join. I have personally experienced a self care Facebook group and it's working out really well.

Araba
Mar 10, 2017
Mar 10, 2017

Thanks for your comments  An J,  would love to try it.

Jill Langhus
Mar 10, 2017
Mar 10, 2017

An J. What is the group that you are part of? Thanks.

Anj RS
Mar 14, 2017
Mar 14, 2017

Hi J.

The group is a private Facebook group called creative self care - a group that draws, paints, doodles to express feelings and emotions and to feel better. 

Their website is mindfulartstudio.com

Jill Langhus
Mar 15, 2017
Mar 15, 2017

Cool. Thanks for sharing:-)

Araba
Mar 16, 2017
Mar 16, 2017

Thanks to Anj RS. Would like to explore what i have identify myself for self  care. Its has  been  good so far, since it has helped me not to burn out or give up.   Thanks for sharing, i will visit  the website to learn about them.

Araba
Mar 16, 2017
Mar 16, 2017

She leads Africa, is an online initiative that encourages young African women to live their dreams. They inspire their readers with information.  I read their information  to broaden my knowledge.

Jill Langhus
Mar 16, 2017
Mar 16, 2017

Cool. Yes, that looks pretty good:-)

Tamarack Verrall
Mar 09, 2017
Mar 09, 2017

Dear Araba,

With an intent to bring out the best in others, you can't go wrong. Having someone encourage us is so reaffirming. The encouragement that is so much a part of World Pulse proves how true this can be. Your introspection of how to also find your own trust in yourself, especially with the difficult work that you are facing, offering information on the pros and cons of abortion, a subject which brings so much opinion flying in from many directions, has brought you to some profound thinking on self care, and your own wisdom and strong spirit of change maker and community educator are carrying you beautifully. "I can’t give up when my own ideas are not following the norm and out of tune". It takes courage to face difficult subjects, but this creates needed change and women in your community are lucky to have you there. I love the image of "must create my own rhythm and dance to it". Recognizing that you need self care is a great strength and finding what works for you an invaluable skill. And yes, surrounding yourself with like minded women and taking time to gain strength and energy from circles you create is such a gift. 

In sisterhood,

Tam

Araba
Mar 10, 2017
Mar 10, 2017

Tam, you always inspire me on, whenever i read a comment from you. I will keep on with my passion to inspire other girls to own their bodies, not to be shy, but to voice out any sexual abuse,meted out to them.

Katalina
Mar 15, 2017
Mar 15, 2017

Hi Araba,

This is great!  I love the work that you are doing! 

Best of Success to you!!  Katalina

Araba
Mar 16, 2017
Mar 16, 2017

Thanks for inspiring me Katalina.