Overcoming My Fear of Live Shows
Sep 17, 2020
Story
Many people who know me know I am hearing impaired.
But still, it takes some convincing for others to really accept I am hearing impaired. Some say because of the way I carry and express myself, it is hard for them to believe I have hearing impairment. A compliment I gracefully accept but which still doesn't change the fact that I have 'half ears'.
And sometimes, posting something about how my hearing impairment became an impediment to something I so wanted to do, it is usually always from comments that I come to know some had misconceptions about this aspect of me. Maybe thinking I may be lying or maybe me using it as an excuse not to be a part of something I don't know. But usually, that misconception is there until that one post I make helps to put things into perspective.
Well, I cannot help that. There are times I really wished things could be different but, I digress.
Recently, due to my advocacy work and the speed with which live shows are growing these days, there are so many who want me on their live shows and always, I am reluctant to accept.
The simple reason is that, even though I can speak and can actually hold my own in conversations, I am always weary of going live. I am weary of people not familiar with me not hearing what I say. I am especially weary of not hearing what questions the audience following may have for me, therefore, leaving me confused and frustrated And so, in as much as I may sometimes want to accept some of these invitations and add my own quota on matters relating to.sickle cell, I most often turn them down.
I work most times with a very passionate and compassionate young Dr, Michael Budzi who so much believes in my ability that he doesn't hesitate to tell others about me. One such person he connected me with is Ms Agnes N of the Australian Sickle Cell Advocacy.
She runs a daily talk show on sickle cell matters and she so much wanted me on her show.
I would have loved to join, but the thought and fear of what if people do not hear or I do not hear was a huge hindrance. I told her so.
She was undeterred. Simply, she said "you are changing the world, we want your voice heard and we are going to find a way to make this work".
Well, we found a way and Dr Michael, who has now become more like a kid brother, was ready to be my "ear".
After a few weeks of planning, we were finally able to have that talk yesterday and my focus was on how my "pain has become my purpose in life".
We made use of everything possible. Chats and advanced preparations helped.
I am sharing the link to the live show here and hopefully, you all enjoy as you discover an aspect of me.
I am hoping this show is the beginning of me overcoming that fear and weariness of going live when need be.
I believe there would be more such shows and oh, I am not going to be an expert appearing on live shows going forward, but I believe, the weariness and heartbeats in trepidation would not always be there because, so long as anyone is willing to go the extra mile to meet me half way to make sure I do not find myself frustrated and lost in translation while the whole world watches, I will survive.
Enjoy the replay of the live show here and thank you for watching.
