The Story of A brave Soul

Arya
Posted April 23, 2019 from Afghanistan

I have grown up in a small household. Although, my father is an educated man he constantly abuses me verbally and physically. I hated abusive words too much that it was shaken my whole soul inside. Maybe he knew it, that is why he was doing so to provoke me. After being physically and psychologically abused by my own father I was going to a small attic where my most hours were spent when I was home because these abuses were constantly. I was asking myself as a woman maybe I am blamed for everything worse happening in this world. Then I was crying that my tears dried and changed to white salty stuff. I wondered many times, why I have beaten to this extent? Is it in my luck? or really where is the problem? because I was the best student in my class,  I was attending extra classes to learn foreign languages while teaching students, assisting my mom in house chores, and much more. I didn't find the courage to stand in front of my father to ask him why did I have to be beaten? additionally, I never had a boyfriend which is a taboo and prohibited in my culture. Gradually, it continued from 4-23 years old. As I worked hard in school, got a scholarship to study abroad, upon return my major concern is how to tolerate that domestic abuse again. My father is the same person. Two years ago when I was in Kabul during my summer break, I was sitting in front of the TV during Eid days which is a holy festival in my country slowly moving my body with my younger sister he entered inside the room started beating me so badly. Then he was searching for my passport to tear it.  I didn't cry but struggled to find my passport and hide it from everyone. Finally, I could do that. Even till the last moment, he didn't talk to me. It is true he is my father, but I can never Love him. I respect him too much, but when I remember him I just scared of even breathing with him under one roof again. Life is difficult, stories are different but some may have worse than mine so I am glad and optimistic about life.

Comments 9

Log in or register to post comments
Jill Langhus
Apr 24
Apr 24

Hi Arya,

I'm so sorry that you had to go through that with your father. Are you still living at home? I hope you have been able to rewrite any beliefs around not being good enough and not being able to handle anything despite your efforts? I know these two beliefs quite well, and they can be difficult to relearn, but know that you are, and always have been enough, dear. I'm glad that you are optimistic, though. Thanks so much for sharing your vulnerable story. I'm sure many others can relate to it.

I hope you're having a good day, and week.

Arya
May 15
May 15

Dear Jill, Ankit Roy is sending messages! She is scammer please take a look and alert all community members.

Jill Langhus
May 15
May 15

Hi Arya,

Yes, I saw that and have had some inquiries about her and her posts, but it looks like the World Pulse staff is already on it, and have blocked her and her messages. Thanks for letting me know, though:-)

Arya
Apr 24
Apr 24

Thank you dearest❤️Yh I liberated three years ago Now I will go back after four years hope he is abiT changed, If not then again

Jill Langhus
May 15
May 15

You're very welcome, dear!

Oh, I'm so glad to hear that. I hope so, too.

Good luck!

Lisbeth
Apr 27
Apr 27

Thanks for sharing your story. A quick motivation. You are not to be blame for anything.
Regards

maeann
Jun 04
Jun 04

Helo Arya,

Much love and hugs to you. Thank you for sharing your story.

Mikaela Kate
Jun 29
Jun 29

Dear Arya,
Thank you for sharing your story and i also hope that your father realizes his ways do no good for anyone and changes. Sending you strength and the courage to continue in your life without abuse. You have so much to give. i appreciate your optimism and am learning from it. much love to you, Mikaela

Tamarack Verrall
Jul 09
Jul 09

Hi Arya,
Somehow men continue to get the message from each other that it is their right and duty to beat women and girls, especially women and girls showing signs of strength and brilliance, into submission. What strength you have to have survived all this and to have guarded and continued your path to becoming the strong woman you are today - even literally having to guard your passport as well as your physical self. I hope many women who have the chance to read your stories and to meet you in person gain the strength to find their own paths to freedom.