Lifeless without Human Touch

Basudha Modak
Posted January 19, 2021 from South Africa

Today I come to you yet again dear sisters ,to share my pain .It has been unbearable for me to stay safe in Covid..

Those who personally know me , know that I am  extremely emotional and open .Also I thrive on hugs..

For every pain inflicted  ,a hug always healed me .I also make sure that every person who is hurting gets to know my hug ..A scraped knee or a broken heart has been healed ,often .

Sure it seems funny ,but research by my son ( he hated

hugs once) told me that it releases serotonin and our mood does lift from anxiety and stress to happiness ..

Due to Covid I was limited to zoom calls or  visits from afar ...I adjusted to that ..

Now when our last line of defence,our doctors and nurses are falling like nine pins ,we non essential workers are remaining to cook and deliver food ..

Through the ages ,I heard stories of how putting a hand on the head ,and sitting talking at night heals and helps a patient..

When I am cooking food ,love and good thoughts goes in .I feel happy doing that ..

When delivering is the problem .

I cannot see the person who picks up my food ,can't comment on the contents ,chat about the day ..And this is affecting me finally ..

The sealed boxes of food I have to drop outside houses and just leave ,is so not  me . ...

What is the point really of staying alive in this shackled world? 

We humans created this cage of disease and destruction and now we are shackled into it ..

And many like me are drying slowly and dying inside ..And somehow the happiness I carry always without reason is going away ..

How do I get a world as before ..

How do I share the pain by giving hugs ?

How do I survive 2021?

 

Comments 14

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maeann
Jan 19
Jan 19

My Dear Basudha,

It must be hard for you. I can feel you my dear.

How we can show our compassionate if this covid19 limiting us.

We will have each other for 2021. Just like how we did last 2020, we will be more strong for each other. Big Hugs....

Basudha Modak
Jan 22
Jan 22

Thank you Maeann
If there was a way to virtually hug .I would be the first in line .It distressed me so much .More than words .Holding on ,pitifully .

Nini Mappo
Jan 20
Jan 20

Dear Basudha,
I am sorry that it is getting bleak, looking ahead into 2021 as another year devoid of the human connection. It is hard. It is against our design of living in community. And is for that reason uncomfortable and frustrating.
As I read your story, it felt as if your delivering meals is like a one-way hug. where you stretch out your rams as in an embrace but no arms encircle you back, where you give but do not receive. or you receive but cannot perceive what you have received.
I know it's really hard for hugs people, but you are doing an incredible service with your meal delivery. It it is the love with which you made it, the craftsmanship if you enjoy cooking, the delicate balancing of flavors, the care and concern, the hope.... When they open your food parcel in silence, that is what pops out, which is part of your essence. So you are still giving and sharing of yourself with others, just not in the usual way. I hope that you can hold on to that until the hugs return.
Sending you love and sparkles because I don't think air hugs will be any good!

Basudha Modak
Jan 22
Jan 22

Yes Nini.
I somehow feel I am meeting them .Thank you .

Hello, dear Basudha,

There is magic in hugs! I empathize with you. During down times, I would ask my husband to hug me. Or when I put my children to sleep, I feel so secured, contented, satisfied with their hugs until they fall asleep. It's the best feeling in the world. It must be difficult for people with love language of physical touch (receiving and giving hugs) to be isolated and locked down. Please get a pillow and hug it for me, dear. And imagine that I am hugging you as well. I know that doesn't have the same effect, but I hope you feel we love you dearly.

I appreciate your vulnerability, dear.

Susu Mohamed
Jan 22
Jan 22

Dear Basudha,
I am sorry dear be strong women and you will be very fine when you feel complication or something painfully look at people below you who suffer from COVID 19 explosions so on. Don't cry more only sometimes. It will assits to you.be happy your live I appreciate for your empathy
take care.
Susuu

Basudha Modak
Jan 22
Jan 22

Thank you Susuu.It helps to know that there are somany feeling like me .

Basudha Modak
Jan 22
Jan 22

Yes Karen ..I met someone today from inside our cars ..
We hugged the seats for each other ..
It is distressing ,but staying strong s few more months .

I'm happy you hugged someone recently! By the way, I notice that drawing on this post. Did you create this one? So creative! What's the meaning behind it?

Basudha Modak
Feb 04
Feb 04

Thank you Karen .We are strong because of so many strong women that holds us up..
Hugs define me ,alot ..
It is a pic I found on the net and I could connect with it strongly . .

Tamarack Verrall
Feb 04
Feb 04

Dear Basudha,
It is so hard to know that you, such a loving woman are struggling with this sudden world of no contact. It is so awful not to be able to hug. I hope you can feel the virtual hugs through the air. Here comes one from me. I am sure that those you left food for felt strongly hugged. So, strange as it is, I hope you feel the hugs they, and also us here, are sending you.

Basudha Modak
Feb 04
Feb 04

YesTam .Our emotions are oursyregths and our weaknesses .And touch is the sense strongest for me ,I can
intuitivelyy feel the vibration ,good or bad ...Thank you got the hugs you are sending my way .Really ,am wilting .

Tamarack Verrall
Feb 04
Feb 04

Here is another hug, for today. I will be sending them regularly through the air. Not physical, but so real, the love we are able to send through this powerful site.

Basudha Modak
Feb 04
Feb 04

Thank you Tam .Loving it .