Today Morning

Sadaf Kashif
Posted May 17, 2018 from Pakistan

Today I opened the window of my room, took deep breaths, and relaxed myself as a year has passed. I know nothing happened during this one year but when I think about May 17, 2017, the day when I was in deep shock, the day when I was thinking that I could be the victim of such horrific allegation, when I was afraid  and hurt deep inside and I was feeling it physically. Being human that pain might had brought me at the edge where I could lose my life rather by myself or by others. Those horrific 31 hours of my life where every moment I had absolutely no idea what I’m gonna do next, where I actually really had no idea that what I want to do next like being stuck in the middle of sea. All I wanted to run away so far so far that no one can approach me, hide myself that no one can see me. I remember I awaked for more than 54 hours without feeding myself. I was avoiding looking at the clock, fearing the slow passing of time. I know that when emotions are in high gear, the mind cannot engage, thus my efforts to divert my thoughts were useless. I was thinking about my parents and all loved ones but I was not able to reach them and share all that what was happening with me. No matter what kind of time you are passing through it has to pass whether it’s bad or good.

Let me tell you that life is like a constant stream of water where you cannot touch the same water twice. So my hope for good time started when I received a call from security personal exactly after 18 hours. Although there was no relief in my pain but yes I was with little hope that I will be out of this crisis now (but was not sure).

“Why I was the victim?” When I think about this I only conclude that we all are knowledge based animals. We all are living with dual personalities i.e. inner personality and social personality. When we examine human behavior in terms of the interaction of various components of personality, the inner personality dominates our social personality and plays an active role in determining how they behave in their day to day life. I never though in my wearied dreams that people having complexes, grievances, professional jealousy can become so opportunist. Basing on their professional prejudices, they will take the opportunity and mold it to taking advantages and pottery a story which has no factual dimensions. This experience revealed an entirely different aspects of human nature which added to my experience. The basic purpose of human existence as perceived by so many people around is focused on amass money, power, material things by hook and crook. People largely has forgotten our basic purpose of human existence which is to stand for truth that should be their priority.   

Today, morning is very different as I am feeling freedom from my fears those were chasing me since last year. I am feeling lucky as I am breathing, I can enjoy the singing of birds, I can enjoy the rain, sun rise and sun set, I can smell, I can feel cool breeze, sun shine all in one 10,000 joys every day.  I am thank full to God who blessed me with life and health. I take this opportunity to render my special thanks to all my family, loved ones, colleagues, friends who stood with me in this crucial time and saved my life with their decision, guidance, directions, advises and prayers.

Comments 3

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Olutosin
May 17, 2018
May 17, 2018

Oh I join you in thanking God almighty and yo appreciate all who stood by you during that trying time.
Every problem definitely has an expiry time. Congratulations for your freedom.

Jill Langhus
May 18, 2018
May 18, 2018

Hi Sadaf. Thanks for sharing your traumatic and sad story. I'm glad that your fear isn't overwhelming you any longer. I have no idea what happened to you, but it doesn't sound good. I'm so sorry this happened to you. Sending you love and light to fully heal from your traumatic ordeal. Please let us know how we can help.

Mercy Kusi
May 18, 2018
May 18, 2018

Keep being strong dear Sadaf.For every pain,there is a gain.