Birth of a Girl - Curse or a Blessing? My question to the society

Bharti Singh Chauhan
Posted June 8, 2016 from India
During Struggling Days
During Struggling Days: With Mother & Brother (1/2)

Books was something I dreamt off, I wanted to go to school, but every time i was crossing the school with a pot on my head filled up of water for my family, the path was too long to reach from the place i filled water to my home, as i used to stop near the school to hear the chaos of children, see the children in uniforms, Playing in play grounds. But for me it was a mere sense to just think off going to school, as I was born in a poor family with 1 brother and 8 sisters, and only my brother had the Right to go to School, He only had the right to eat food first at home, Had the Right to share his dreams and expectations and so on.

I was 10 years old and I told my mother, I want to go to school too, but I got a answer " You are a Girl and You don't have the right, You are a Curse to our Family, so don’t bother Me. On hearing this I taught.. Is it a Sin to be Born as a Girl. And this question always pinched me through out my journey.

At the age of 16 I got married to a man who was double my age, but highly education, broad minded and with full richness. Now I had a one who was ready to fulfill all my dreams, I still remember the day, when my husband wanted to open a bank account in my name, and he asked me to sign the form, and I was completely bank. I started crying and told I him I am uneducated and never been to school. He politely told me don’t cry, I will help you and he gave me a Pen and started teaching me how to write my name. This was the first time I had ever been holding a Pen in my Hand.

Time Flew and It was around 7 years of my marriage but I could not conceive a Baby, ever time I used to move in the community, People used to tell me that I am curse to the family. I met my mother after so many years thinking that she will understand my feelings, but she also told me that you are a Curse not only to our family but also to the family I was born too.. I was truly disappointed and stopped moving in the community, getting depressed. But My husband stood next to me telling don’t worry, everything will be alright. After 15 years of my marriage, and a proper treatment, I conceived. This was the most wonderful day in my life. After 9 months I was blessed with a Beautiful Baby Girl and I felt I was on the top of the world, My relatives told me how I can be so happy for being blessed by a girl,, but I ignored, as I had little angel in my hands, I taught I will give her good education, fulfill all her wishes and help her dreams come true.My daughter was 5 years and I was blessed by Baby boy.Had a completely blessed family.

After 2 years of my son born a incident with him changed the complete story of our life. He met with an accident and was paralyzed by hishalf body portion. Me and my husband invested all our savings in between my husband lost his job, still doctors could not change my sons life, just he was alive. we from a good middle class family, were hunched in to financial issues, we did not have much money to help out sending my daughter to school , as not it was difficult for us to bear our regular expenses. Anyhow we managed to send her to school till class 9th, But again the crisis went off, My husband met an accident , which effected his vision and now he was not able to work anywhere. Financial Crisis increased day by day.and it became difficult to live our life. I was uneducated and was feeling all alone, but I had promised I will never leave my hope, I spoke to my daughter mentioning that I could not help her continue her studies and the answer I got from her was something I could have ever imagined off. She Told “ Mummy Don’t worry, You have worked out a lot to make me come here, now its my turn to work for my family and I will continue my studies to” But How was a big question for me.

I saw her she brought some sarees and aksed me mummy how do we stich falls in the sarees, and here was my answer. I along with her started stiching falls for a vendor, my daughter learnt the process of applying heena on hand and went to functions to earn money after her school by applying heena in marriages and parties. Anyhow she completed her secondary school. In between I got a heart attack and I was paralyzed. Now my daughter had many responsibilities in hand, Parents and brother both on bed. But what I saw was positive energy around my daughter, She now started working in a lingerie shop for part time. One day I saw her crying alone, when I asked she told that the shop she went to buy household groceries asked her for sex, and he will pay for it. I was broken on hearing it and told Her, I know that this is big challenge, But I trust you, you are a true hero and you can change your destiny. Never leave your dreams and one day you will succeed. She stood strong and continued her studies by taking tutions from home to home, later she got a job after completing her Graduation with a Bank. With time I found her growing and today she stands at a very good position in a Telecom industry. She has won many national & international awards for the work she is being doing. She was recognized as 100 Women of India by Hon. President Shri Pranab Mukherjee and WOmen and Child Welfare department India. She is known as International Girl Rising Campaign Ambassador Launched by Micheal Obama for Promoting Girls Education in Rajasthan. She is also the ambassador of World of Difference Program working for Street Life and Children living in Slums. Which always make me feel Proud to be a Mother of a Daughter. This is what I dreamt off.

Her journey was not easy. She stood up at every corner and ensured to support her family, she stood up for herself to fulfill not only her dreams but my dreams, She stood up not only for her safety but today stands at a Place where she works for Safety of Girls for many girls in the society.

Today I am no more in this world, But My name is still alive she started an NGO in my name “PraveenLata Sansthan” in 2013 investing all her savings, She still take cares of her father and handicapped brother. She is working to fulfill dreams of many mothers in her community, supporting to fulfill dreams of many children. She stands strongly to Promote Save Girls & Educate Girls. She is My Daughter and I am Proud of her.

I was told A girl is a Curse. But today I can Prove a Girl is a Blessing and She is the beautiful gift this world has to give to each one.

I always see, People Love to have a Mother, People Love to a have a Wife, People love to have a Sister, People love to have a Girl Firend, But why not a Daughter.

SAVE GIRLS, EDUCATE GIRLS & SEE HOW YOUR WORLD CHANGES!!

In memory of my Mother - Mrs.lata Devi Who was always there to support me, guide me and show me the right path to stand where I am today : Bharti Singh Chauhan Founder & Chairperson Praveenlata Sansthan

President Awardee -

This story was submitted in response to Share On Any Topic.

Comments 14

Log in or register to post comments
Jasmine Linabary
Jun 08, 2016
Jun 08, 2016

Dear Bharti,

Thank you for sharing this very moving story. The mother-daughter account is so moving and beautiful that it brought me to tears. I am sure your mother would be very honored by the work that you do. Your story is a powerful testimony to the value and importance of girls' education. 

Warmest regards,

Jasmine

Bharti Singh Chauhan
Jun 08, 2016
Jun 08, 2016

Thank u jasmine for your kinds words to appreciate my story about the live example of mother and daughter relations. Its  true that there is a huge need in the society to work to save girls and educate girls, once we work on it definately the whole world would change. I am on Facebooktoo. We can also connect on it

https://www.facebook.com/praveenlatasansthan

Regards

Bharti

Julie Collura
Jun 15, 2016
Jun 15, 2016

Bharti,

What a beautiful and moving tribute to your mother! You not only make her proud, but all of your sisters around the world. Educating girls is truly the way to change the world.

With love,

Julie

Bharti Singh Chauhan
Jul 12, 2016
Jul 12, 2016

Thanks Julie for your appreciation, Yes I am trying to fulfill my mothers dream that ever girl has the right to education and i will fight for it till my last breathe

Katalina
Jun 20, 2016
Jun 20, 2016

Hi Bharti,

This is such a heart warming story!  Congratulations on all your successes!  I'm so happy for you!!!  

Cheers, Katalina

Bharti Singh Chauhan
Jul 12, 2016
Jul 12, 2016

Thanks Julie for your appreciation, Yes I am trying to fulfill my mothers dream that ever girl has the right to education and i will fight for it till my last breathe

Bharti Singh Chauhan
Jun 21, 2016
Jun 21, 2016

thank u catlina but this something which is next to my heart and worldpulse gave me the opportunity to share my mothers story

leila Kigha
Jun 23, 2016
Jun 23, 2016

Wow Bharti

I cant find the right words to say how i feel right now after reading your story.

its an account of strength and determination to be the change our society needs. It is a very encouraging account of the struggle of an uneducated woman who wanted the best for her family in spite of the societies barriers.

its a phenomenon that cuts across several communities in Africa as well, where the education of the girl child is still considered as wasted investment.

Though your mother has passed on, her efforts live on in your fight to bring change to your community. You encourage us all to stay true to our dreams. thank you!

congratulations on all your achievements and all the best.

Bharti Singh Chauhan
Jul 12, 2016
Jul 12, 2016

Thanks kariez for sending some positive energy i agree that this issue is not only of my country but accross the globe and we all together can connect and end up the issue by joining our hands together

Stelz
Jun 29, 2016
Jun 29, 2016

Dear Bharti,

My favourite quote in the world is "When you educate a man you educate an individual but when you educate a woman you educate a nation" 

Well done my sister keep doing what you are doing.

Cheers

bridggyella
Jun 29, 2016
Jun 29, 2016

Hello Bharti,

This indeed is an emotional story. It is sad that even in this modern era alot of people even the educated ones believe the birth of a female child is a fad in the society. Despite your inability to fulfil your educational pursiut, you had a supportive husband and now you are blessed with a daughter who has achieved so much by going to school.

Your daugther has made you a proud mum. I congratulate you and your daughter and i wish your daughter more attainment in life.

Cheers!

Bridget

Bharti Singh Chauhan
Jul 12, 2016
Jul 12, 2016

Thank you stelz

Jensine Larsen
Oct 06, 2016
Oct 06, 2016

What an exquisite tribute to your mother Bharti. You are a shining light for us all!! Thank you.

Enmita Marin
Oct 10, 2016
Oct 10, 2016

Hi Bharti

your story is beautifil as your soul. 

Thank you so much for sharing and give me hope and faith in all the efforts that women do everyday for their children and for their families. 

Thanks! Thanks a lot