I Choose Silence to Heal

blanch1981
Posted December 7, 2019 from Philippines

I choose silence. But inside, I am raging.

I choose silence. But no! I speak proudly of you. So proud that makes me feel I don't deserve you.

I choose silence. And I know you think I am tolerating. That I am betraying. That I am weak. 

Maybe, I am weak. 

But don't get me wrong! I am melting every time I read your message. I hide behind doors in deep shame and self-hate every time you come and knock at my door and patiently wait for me to come out. 

And when you left, I cried of anger, of pain, of grief. Blaming myself why I get stuck in a place where I keep on committing mistakes.

And that makes me feel more proud you have gone so far. 

Your success have been my strength. Your achievements give me reason to hope, to believe, and to heal.

Just please bear with me. And have patience.

I owe you this lifetime for making it worthy to live another day.

Because my silence doesn't mean there is nothing left to fight for.

I am just tired. Tired of explaining. Tired of complaining.

My silence means I am still healing.

My silence means I want to accept the choices I made and forgive myself for all its consequences.

My silence means I  don't want to give false pretense.  

Stay standing for me.

Continue to encourage more women and motivate them.

Tell them, "it's ok" if they can't speak yet.

"It's ok" if they are stuck yet.

But, like me, they have to listen and slowly accept the fact that nobody can change their situation if they wouldn't allow people like you to touch them. 

If they couldn't find ways to heal and recover and inspire others to do the same.

Getting out of violence is a journey. 

Finding one's voice takes more courage.

So that, when all the healing is complete, speaking is no longer just inviting.

Speaking will sound like a roar, pushing every girl, every woman, every human being that believes in your cause. Those who clamor, #IStandWithHer, will create a barricade to stop all forms of violence.

Yes, that will happen. That is actually happening.

#IStandWithHer

This story was submitted in response to #IStandWithHer.

Comments 20

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Lisbeth
Dec 07, 2019
Dec 07, 2019

Hi dear,
#istandwithyou
Thanks for sharing your poem with us during this 16days.
Regards

blanch1981
Dec 16, 2019
Dec 16, 2019

Thank you very much Lisbeth! More power and continue standing with and for the women worldwide! Regards

Lisbeth
Dec 16, 2019
Dec 16, 2019

You welcome :-)
Will do my best to

Karen Quiñones-Axalan
Dec 07, 2019
Dec 07, 2019

Hello, Blanche,

I love that we are creating a barricade to stop all violence. Thank you for sharing this well-written post. We stand with you even in your silence, and we stand with you more as you speak up.

blanch1981
Dec 16, 2019
Dec 16, 2019

Hi Karen! Thank you very much for your kind words and thank you as well for uplifting the morale of women in our community! Regards

Karen Quiñones-Axalan
Dec 17, 2019
Dec 17, 2019

You're welcome, dear sis! Keep on fighting. You got this.

Jill Langhus
Dec 09, 2019
Dec 09, 2019

Hi Blanche,

Good luck with your submission, dear! Hope you're having a great Monday:-)

XX

blanch1981
Dec 16, 2019
Dec 16, 2019

Hi Jill! I feel blessed knowing you and thank you very much for all the encouragement! Regards

Jill Langhus
Dec 18, 2019
Dec 18, 2019

Hello dear:-)

I'm blessed to know you, too, dear:-) You're very welcome!

XX

Hannah B
Dec 09, 2019
Dec 09, 2019

Hello Blanch,
Wow, this is a beautiful piece, thank you for sharing it with us!
I like that you use the idea of silence in your writing - it makes me think of all the women who are not able or choose not to speak out loud, but who still have strong feelings, ideas and passions. Thank you for speaking up for them!
Warm regards,
Hannah

blanch1981
Dec 16, 2019
Dec 16, 2019

Dear Hannah,
I am happy that you appreciated what I have written in contribution to our quest for violence-free environment. Thank you very much for your kind words and for the deep understanding of my message.

Regards and more power!

Blanche

Anita Shrestha
Dec 10, 2019
Dec 10, 2019

Thank you very much for sharing

blanch1981
Dec 16, 2019
Dec 16, 2019

Dear Anita,

Thank you very much for your time to appreciate my article.

Regards,

Blanch

maeann
Dec 10, 2019
Dec 10, 2019

Hi Blanche,

Silence is roaring like a lion. I stand with you #IStandWithHer

blanch1981
Dec 16, 2019
Dec 16, 2019

Hi Maeann! Thank you very much! Continue motivating and inspiring our fellow Pilipina!

More power and hope to see you, karen and the rest of the WP Philippines next year!

Regards,

Blanche

maeann
Dec 17, 2019
Dec 17, 2019

Hi Blanch,

Thank you. Yes let's make that happen this 2020 by God's willing.

otahelp
Dec 15, 2019
Dec 15, 2019

hi i really understand this feeling. thank you for sharing.

blanch1981
Dec 16, 2019
Dec 16, 2019

Dear Otahelp,
Thank you very much for that understanding. Sometimes, the best comfort we can give one is simply listening and understanding without even judging the rightness or wrongness of the act.

More power and regards,

Blanch

leila Kigha
Dec 16, 2019
Dec 16, 2019

Beautiful poem
Thank you for sharing my dear

blanch1981
Dec 16, 2019
Dec 16, 2019

Hi Leila,

Thank you very much for taking the time to read and appreciate my article.

Regards and more power!

Blanche