Is there really a reason why we should marry.

Blessdmams❤
Posted April 17, 2019 from Cameroon

In our organisation, in the process of interactions and sensitisation campaings of the girl child. I discovered there are some things that we ignore but are very important. Its called marriage. Yes marriage is a good thing because firstly it was instituted by God. I really admire most married woman and those in the process of getting married.

Dear world pulse sisters let us brain storm based on this survey l carried out around my community looking at the suffering, frustration and misery most house wives are going through. I carried out a private dialogue with some of the house wives.

Mildred is 22yrs old who hales from an interior village. She got married  because her parents told her marriage is the greatest achievement a woman can ever have. It gives you a change of name and respect among your pals. She got married to someone she never even knew and today she is going through severe torture and beating.

Rose got married because all her mates in school were married and she felt inferior each time she was around them. She hurriedly found herself a man and got married to him without going through the normal procedure of blood testing or checking of HIV status. Today Rose is not a happy married woman because she has been infected with HIV and her children are sickle cell anaemic.

Azah got married to a very wealthy old man because she believes she wanted to remove her family out of poverty. Yes today her family is leaving very well, full of luxury but she is not happy. She complains of her husband not being able to satisfy her and she now moves around sleeping with young men in town.

Ayuk on her own got married to someone she was betrothed to by their customs and tradition.  This is something that was done before she was even born. It doesn't matter whether she loves the man or not. If she doesn't get married to him and get married to another person she either get mad or she dies. Ayuk today is facing serious marital crises because she is married to someone she doesn't love. There is poor level of communication and its affecting even their kids.

This and so much more is what women go through in the name of marriage. Women are in deep pain in the name of marriage. Dear sisters while l continue with my support and sensitisation of women and girls on marriage,  I need your tireless support. Both morally and physically. Together we can put away this ills plaguing our girl children. Marriage should be a blessing and should aim at making us better. Shalom

Comments 9

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Jill Langhus
Apr 17
Apr 17

Hi Blessdmams,

Thanks for sharing your concerning post. Yes, I agree that marriage should be a blessing and that it can make us better, but marriage is only a blessing and makes us better when both people are in the marriage for the same reasons... mutual love, respect, honesty, responsibility, and being the best that person can be. Without these factors, the marriage will have issues, if you ask me. Both women and men need to be confident and love themselves first prior to entering into a marriage so that know without uncertainty that they are marrying the best possible person that will enhance their lives, rather than detract from it, and from there, the couple can then think about having a children, if they so choose to do so, so these children will encapsulate the same, healthy beliefs and morals. Wouldn't you say? And, how would you like support, dear?

Hope you're having a good day!

esther atosha
Apr 18
Apr 18

Hello blessed,
These stories are soo sad .the World should live that conception of taking mariage as a great achievment a women Can have .
Congratulations with tout détermination , WE ARE there for you

Tamarack Verrall
Apr 18
Apr 18

Dear Blessdmams,

I am so glad that you have written strongly on the horrible and widespread use of marriage, which Jill describes in its best light so well, and which you point out so well and so importantly how it has become a way of imprisoning women, too often from girlhood, with the message to girls that this is the best accomplishment in their lives, when in fact men have been taught that they have the right to control, abuse terribly and basically imprison women as non paid labour, and too often repeatedly rape. This is the global horror that we are here to change together, and your voice here is a powerful call to action. Every woman and girl should have the right to marry or not, to have children or not, the freedom to earn money and have property, and a life not only free of any kind of abuse, but deeply respected for who she is. Thank you for honouring these women by speaking out for them.

Kirthi
Apr 19
Apr 19

Hi Blessdmams, Very intriguing post, and you've hit the nail on the head with your incredible writing!

Christiana Abba
Apr 19
Apr 19

Thank you for sharing this with us. Your write up reflects a typical scenarios we see daily in Africa. The institution of marriage is meant to be a blessing and enjoyed by both partners. However, I will just you
involve community leaders, stakeholders, places of worship, lawmakers and other relevant bodies as you create awareness and sensitisation on this issue. These people all have role to play in one way or the other such as; child marriage, some churches in Nigeria now will not bless your union as husband and wife without a certified Genotype test results. This is to ensure compatibility and protection of the unborn child.

SIMON MUREU
Apr 21
Apr 21

You say it right my sister and may also think-- ask whether if men should marry too and then you would find the same facts you have raised

Lisbeth
May 10
May 10

Even as its Gods purpose,the bible does not make it mandatory. Its an optional choice.

otahelp
Jun 10
Jun 10

Blessedmams, everbody should not get married. for me if you must get married, one needs to know what to expect and prepare their minds to face the frailty of men and women. there must be mutual respect and love. Marriage between 2 persons must be truthful, understanding and honest with each other. Communication must be an oil that greases marriages and unions. thank you all the same for sharing your story and survey. We are here together to advocate that women and girls take marriage more seriously by making their own decisions and not allow any other person choose their partners for them.

Beth Lacey
Jun 26
Jun 26

Yes, marriage it a blessing. The fundamental culture needs to change before all women who are married are happy to be so