The smile behind the pain.

The quest for a home keeps calling,the best feeling is knowing you have a place you can go to any time. In my case I would sit and bargain whether board a bus or not .My stepfather always laments he has not built for girls and we are grown now he doesn't want us home.The matter became worse when I went back home and pregnant,I didn't go back to grow old I went back to find my way out but he didn't  see it that way ,time came I was too stressed because I was too broke i won that when i started making doughnuts where i sell to the community my life became earlier less stressful that was when my little angel joined me, giving birth through c section in the village is at GOD'S mercy because I had some complications but thank God I won that battle .After discharged from hospital came back home the first.word that came out of my stepdad.was why my baby in another woman's house I bleed inside I had no option,Mothers can be so loving and trust me I love mine so much but she also got tired of me at one month she started telling me to carry my baby and we go to the garden,gardening is not an issue the issue is I was going through a lot of pain I couldn't just sit despite the pain. I would put my baby on the back and make doughnuts so am able to buy her neccecities and also put food on the table sometimes other women from the community started.throwing words.at me because they were jealous of me ,I was just waiting for someone to ask me to teach them what I know,people loved the doughnuts they would follow me home they wouldsay''If you really have a home go to your home not another woman's home'' I soaked.by pillow in tears that night because it wasn't the first.time I heard.those.words .My sister  who followed me heard how the women were attacking me she came in to stoodby me but my dad thought she over reacted  by fighting back that was when I moved away from home and requested my cousin I stay at her place until have saved enough to rent but then the pain became intense I had to use what had.saved for rent to go for treatment in the city on caming back I was still planning to again start saving for rent then I received a message from her that where am staying she wants it.clean because she will be using it as a guest house for.her international friends as it goes.The people I have in my life are incredible people but they got tired of me,my mum checks on me since I left home but the beauty of all these is I ALWAYS FIND AWAY and no matter how hard it is now I get my daughter a home not by marriage or what but I will work twice as much am doing now because I have a vision. IT DOESN'T MATTER HOW MANY TIMES YOU FALL WHAT MATTERS IS HOW YOU GET UP.