LIVING IN THE THICK OF INSECURITY, SOCIAL STIGMA AND DISCRIMINATION BUT NOT GIVING UP

Some years ago I was advised by a sister to stop identifying as a disabled person because she thinks I am not ‘disabled.’ I said to her that my reason for identifying is because my life is a case of the unexpected multiple, unjust occurrences that life throws at one because of one’s physical appearance. Truly I have navigated a lot of curves in my efforts to live life like others. Life threatening experiences, social stigma, discrimination, poverty which results from lack of resources are issues compounding my physical impairment. When I hear people talk about social justice, I do think that social justice can only be achieved when the world becomes fully inclusive and protective of people with disabilities, especially women like me who are in rural communities and are most vulnerable.

A Life at Threat

In Nigeria and in Africa the trend of targeting persons with some form of disabilities like albinism and angular kyphosis for ritual killing is still on. Many times my mother has received warnings not to let me out of the house because I have always been a target. Personally I have been warned severally not to come out of the house for any reason. We have been defiling this lock -at-home advice even when we know that I was being trailed by these evil killers. One day at about 5:45pm I was cornered by the kidnappers for ritual killing in their tightly locked van. They were two men; one was on the driver’s seat and the other sitting on the passenger’s seat. When the horrible van stopped in front of me I sensed danger. All I could do was to summon courage. I quietly said few words of prayer and moved a few steps. I could not run. They came out and stopped me. I stood looking at them. I was all alone, no other person or vehicle passing by. I did not utter a word. They looked at themselves and after some minutes one said to me “we are warning you for the last time, never you come out or walk alone especially on this road again!” Before completing the warning statement, they quickly entered the van and zoomed of as if someone was pursuing them. I became frightened and started running. I got home shaking. I could not eat food neither did I share the terrible experience with my mother. If I had shared that experience with her, she should not have allowed me out of the house again, and I should not have been able to go to school in my life. A lot of women and girls with angular kyphosis disappear in the villages and cities of Nigeria and no one raises an eyebrow. Very few who escape ritual killing hardly come out publicly. They are like non-existence because no one sees them or hears their voice.

As for me, I have developed a strong mind. I do believe that I am destined to giving services to others. I do not allow anything change my mindset or de-focus me. I stand strong. I loudly speak out. I have been sharing my experience of encounter with ritual killers in various platforms but till date no security provisions are in place to protect us. People including those in power listening to these stories with ‘sympathy’ should take actions to curb the targeted killing of persons with angular kyphosis and albinism. Our life is important and need be protected.   

Stigmatization and Bully are Part of my Experience

When I developed a disability at childhood it was said that my disability was because of my sin. While growing up I was told that people who have disability are those who are cursed by God. My widowed mother was advised to throw me away in the evil forest or withdraw her care and allow me die slowly. Some families did that to their members with disabilities. My family is stigmatized because of me and the reason for the advice to my mother was the stigma attached to having a child with disability and again the heavy burden she will bear in bringing me up especially in her state of poverty.

My growing up with a physical impairment is a rough and sad journey. People bully me and call me names, even when my mother and elder brother are so protective of me. When I walk on village roads people scornfully point at me, other children avoid me because they are told not to associate or play with me. Most times I go into deep thought and cry silently. Time without number, “Why me?”, “Why should it be me?” are the questions I hear myself asking unconsciously and I get no answers.  

Several times I question my mother on why I should be the one looking different from other children. Each time I ask, my mother tells me not to mind what people think or say. She encourages me and she always reassures me of her love and that of Emeka, my elder brother. My brother always carried me on his back and always ready to engage in physical combat with other children who bullied me. For years, he carried me on his back even as he went to and fro his primary school in our village. I urge the governments at the three tiers in Nigeria as well as schools in Nigeria to rise up to creating awareness on disability.  Religious communities should refrain from misleading people that disability occurs because of sins of individuals. People with disabilities are created by same God and their existence portrays the diversity of God’s creation.

Slim Education Opportunities and Rejection

In my childhood days there was no educational support from government or from my village community for children with disabilities. My mother had 5 other children to cater for and in families priority for education is hardly placed on children with disabilities. In my state there was nothing like free and basic education for children with disabilities. Many children with disabilities are used as objects of charity to beg for alms on the streets. The money realized from the begging is not used on them but to care for others.

In my early beginning I strongly believed that education can be used as a tool for my life improvement. I was determined to tow that path though my mother did not have the money for my school fees. When she realized my ambition she went to beg the head teacher of Central School in my village and there were agreements reached. The major one was that the school should not send me away. Again my school fees should be paid any time my mother has saved up money and my academic report book should not be released until my school fees are paid up. My primary school had a tradition of sending away children whose parents could not pay school fees. We proffered this solution and it worked for me throughout my primary school years.

I passed the ‘Common Entrance’ examination-- a qualifying examination for high school education when I was ten years. At the point of my enrolment at an all girls’ secondary school in Orlu I was rejected because of my disability. I went on hunger strike with crying, I thought that I would just die in the process. Consolation from my mother did not stop me from crying. She went all out looking for solution. We got a member of the Orlu zonal education board who welded into the matter. I was eventually admitted some weeks into the first academic term. I heard of some other children with disabilities who had same experience of rejection in various schools but never made it like me. They gave up hope of education and resorted to begging on the streets.

It is said that education is basic right for girls and women. If indeed education is basic right and each year tens of girls with disabilities experience rejection in schools on the basis of disability, education is not yet inclusive of persons with disabilities. Persons with disabilities need education the most to build their confidence, their self esteem and accord dignity to their lifes. Street begging robs us of our dignity. Persons with disabilities should be discouraged from street begging by making education free for them. Above all, we need protective policies at local education authorities to protect children with disabilities from rejection and discrimination in admission into schools. Sensitization meetings should be held periodically with head teachers to let them understand that children with disabilities equally need education, motivation and guidance to attain some educational heights.

Discrimination and Stereotyping at Government House

On International Women’s day 2019 I was in Delta state government house, Asaba, Nigeria. I was invited to speak in a panel alongside other women. There were more than 1000 women from different walks of life. I was the only woman with a disability invited as a speaker. The wife of the governor of Delta was gave the opening speech. When it was time to introduce speakers and bring them to the podium, I was skipped because of my disability. The usher was signaled that I was one of the guests invited to speak but she sidelined me. She could not wrap her head around the fact that my mission at the program was to speak. She had viewed me as an object of charity and she thought I was in the government house to beg for alms or for charity collection. Actually I was embarrassed and weakened psychologically. Imagine traveling from Lagos to Delta to be embarrassed that way. I felt like leaving the place, but I suddenly remembered that I still had my voice-- my power-- so I picked up courage. I raised my hand to draw attention of dignitaries and other panelists. My raised hand also served as a signal that she skipped me. She later introduced me and I spoke when it was my turn to speak. Discrimination and stereotyping has always been major barriers to every other person with disability. I am glad that at that program the Commissioner for Women Affairs and Social Development was impressed by my presentation. She later partnered with me in empowerment training for persons with disabilities in Delta state.  

In January 2018 the federal government of Nigeria passed the Discrimination Against Persons with Disabilities (Prohibition) Act, 2018. The Act in principle prohibits discrimination of PWDs and further provides for full integration of persons with disabilities into the society. The Act equally establishes a National Commission that is  hoped will fully address the education, health care, social, economic and civil rights of persons with disabilities in Nigeria. The Commission took of this year 2021. Raising our voices in advocating for elimination of all forms of discrimination against persons with disabilities is a task that is worth the while. We will not relent in raising our voices.

Until all our needs are met, the truth is that in significant ways I have experienced all the negatives that societies throw at me because I am a disabled woman. I and other persons with disabilities are stronger because we navigate dangerous paths of life and come out strong. In the absence of government and community support, self help and self empowerment become our option. I give selfless assistance to others thereby getting myself empowered. Impacting others gives me fulfillment and makes me realize my worth. I formed the Divine Foundation for Disabled Persons and I impact persons with disabilities through direct support, training, research writings, and inspirational / motivational talks. My organization also provides relevant community based programs and services aimed at the empowerment of persons with disabilities on the basis of integrity, justice and respect thereby contributing to development of our community.