People are afraid to help

Cmnissen
Posted April 28, 2020

I was almost killed by my boyfriend recently. I didnt think I had anywhere to go because I assumed no one would take me in, even family. I didnt want to endanger them, either. But when he attacked me, choked me, hit my face, ripped off my shirt, made my nose bleed so badly it was all over the floor and bedspread and banged my head against the floor repeatedly, making it bleed as well.... I took his glasses off as some kind of last-ditch defiance and because I knew he was blind without them. I threw them to the corner of the room and covered my head for the ensuing blows. But it DID let me squirm free.

 

I had only a cardigan and no shoes on in the freezing cold of Edmonton. I ran to two neighbours' houses and begged for their help. I know they were home. I could hear them. They didnt want anything to do with me. I blamed covid fear. Or I could have just looked like a crazy person! But why didnt they call the police??? I was so freezing cold that I heard my boyfriend calling me back home and I had to go. I had no other choice. He didnt hurt me again. He cuddled me. I told him I wanted him to cuddle me. I wanted things to be back to normal.

 

I feel so stupid for that now. I have never been abused before, and I just didnt understand what it can do to you psychologically. 

 

I lived with him for a week after. I didnt think I had any options because of covid. I mean, where are you supposed to go that's not incredibly expensive??? You can't go home. You can't go to a friend's. He ruined my phone, just destroyed it, it was just glass shards, so I had no escape. 

This story was submitted in response to Dispatches from the COVID-19 Pandemic.

Comments 14

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Jill Langhus
Apr 29
Apr 29

Hi Cmnissen,

Welcome to World Pulse! This is a so sad, dear. Are you still with this horrible man?! I'm glad that you got away and that he didn't abuse you further, but so sad that your neighbors wouldn't help you, and that you felt like you had nowhere to go. Are you with family and/or friends now, I hope? Please don't this on alone. I'm sure they wouldn't want you suffering. Please let me know if you need help. You can private message me, if you like.

XX

Cmnissen
Apr 29
Apr 29

Hello! Thank you for your concern. I managed to call a helpline when he went to bed early one night, after I'd received my new cell phone. They called the police. It was scary because he was just in the other room! But I'm safe now and have safe people I'm going to tonight. You're very sweet to offer help to a stranger. Please know I will help you if you need me. Dont hesitate to ask.

Jill Langhus
May 01
May 01

You're very welcome, dear.

Oh, that's great news. I was worried for you. That is scary. You're so brave. I hope you're proud of yourself. I'm so glad you're free of him.

That's very kind of you. Thank you:-)

Looking forward to seeing more posts from you and learning more about you.

Hope you have a good, safe weekend.

Amonge
Apr 29
Apr 29

Dear CMNISSEN
Am sorry it happened to you,but let it not affect you for if you do it will drain you.
It happens to most of us women,but how to you get out of it?,what do you love doing?try and put your interest in things which will uplift you .try and remain sane and sobber and most important be around people who love you,they make you think and overcome.
Am glad your safe ,remember he has a problem and not you, that's why he hit you.
Lots of love from Kenya.
Amonge.

Cmnissen
Apr 30
Apr 30

Hi Amonge,
Thank you for your kind words. It is so nice to find this site and know that women and people across the world are sticking together. I hope you are safe and happy.
Catherine

Chi8629
Apr 30
Apr 30

Hello Beautiful Sister,
Thank you for sharing.
Please be safe and careful ,
He does not have any right
to beat and belittle you ,
You are more than that ,
You are beautiful and unique
You don't have to go back to him for a cuddle ,he is a monster and you should stay far away from him please .
If you need a cuddle we at worldpluse are here for you ,we will send you special fabulous cyber hugs .We love you so much and you are important to us ,your mental health and happiness is Paramount . Please stay safe out there.Thank you . We love you dearly.

Cmnissen
Apr 30
Apr 30

Hello Chioma,
THank you for responding. To all who have, it has made me feel supported. To see strangers supporting one another is just lovely and enlightening. You are all beautiful souls. Thank you for your support. I hope I can support you one day, but I'd rather hope that you never need it.

Much love,
Catherine

Chi8629
Apr 30
Apr 30

Anytime beautiful Sister,
We are here for you and we love you.

Cmnissen
Apr 30
Apr 30

Amen. I love you too. Be strong in whatever you are experiencing and know I have your back, sister.

Anita Shrestha
Apr 30
Apr 30

Dear Sis
Thank you for sharing. Be strong

Cmnissen
Apr 30
Apr 30

Im ok now. I'm with good, safe friends. Life is not so bad. I'm free of him. I hope all of you are free of people who hold you back as well.

Shirin Dalaki
May 06
May 06

Hello Dear,
Welcome to World Pulse and thank you for sharing your story. It made me sad and wanted to reach out to you and give you support and say I am sorry for what you had to go through and I am sorry that people were afraid to help you but I am sure you heard of this saying that whatever does not break you makes you stronger. We forgive those who are unkind to us and find those who are loving and caring like these loving sisters on WP who reach out and express their concern for you. I am happy that you are safe and let me know if I can help you to build your strentgh back up. You can message me if you wish.
Lots of love and hugs sending your way.

Shirin

Cmnissen
May 09
May 09

Thank you for your support! It was an extremely strange and dignity-stripping experience that is hard to wrap my head around. But you and everyone on here have eased my mind a lot. It's good to know people care.

Shirin Dalaki
May 11
May 11

You are welcome.
Looking forward to see more posts from you and get to know you more.