People are afraid to help

I was almost killed by my boyfriend recently. I didnt think I had anywhere to go because I assumed no one would take me in, even family. I didnt want to endanger them, either. But when he attacked me, choked me, hit my face, ripped off my shirt, made my nose bleed so badly it was all over the floor and bedspread and banged my head against the floor repeatedly, making it bleed as well.... I took his glasses off as some kind of last-ditch defiance and because I knew he was blind without them. I threw them to the corner of the room and covered my head for the ensuing blows. But it DID let me squirm free.

I had only a cardigan and no shoes on in the freezing cold of Edmonton. I ran to two neighbours' houses and begged for their help. I know they were home. I could hear them. They didnt want anything to do with me. I blamed covid fear. Or I could have just looked like a crazy person! But why didnt they call the police??? I was so freezing cold that I heard my boyfriend calling me back home and I had to go. I had no other choice. He didnt hurt me again. He cuddled me. I told him I wanted him to cuddle me. I wanted things to be back to normal.

I feel so stupid for that now. I have never been abused before, and I just didnt understand what it can do to you psychologically. 

I lived with him for a week after. I didnt think I had any options because of covid. I mean, where are you supposed to go that's not incredibly expensive??? You can't go home. You can't go to a friend's. He ruined my phone, just destroyed it, it was just glass shards, so I had no escape.