People are afraid to help

Cmnissen
Posted November 14, 2020 from Canada

I was almost killed by my boyfriend recently. I didnt think I had anywhere to go because I assumed no one would take me in, even family. I didnt want to endanger them, either. But when he attacked me, choked me, hit my face, ripped off my shirt, made my nose bleed so badly it was all over the floor and bedspread and banged my head against the floor repeatedly, making it bleed as well.... I took his glasses off as some kind of last-ditch defiance and because I knew he was blind without them. I threw them to the corner of the room and covered my head for the ensuing blows. But it DID let me squirm free.

 

I had only a cardigan and no shoes on in the freezing cold of Edmonton. I ran to two neighbours' houses and begged for their help. I know they were home. I could hear them. They didnt want anything to do with me. I blamed covid fear. Or I could have just looked like a crazy person! But why didnt they call the police??? I was so freezing cold that I heard my boyfriend calling me back home and I had to go. I had no other choice. He didnt hurt me again. He cuddled me. I told him I wanted him to cuddle me. I wanted things to be back to normal.

 

I feel so stupid for that now. I have never been abused before, and I just didnt understand what it can do to you psychologically. 

 

I lived with him for a week after. I didnt think I had any options because of covid. I mean, where are you supposed to go that's not incredibly expensive??? You can't go home. You can't go to a friend's. He ruined my phone, just destroyed it, it was just glass shards, so I had no escape. 

Comments 7

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Tamarack Verrall
Nov 14
Nov 14

Hi sister,
I see that you have reposted this, your original sent last April. How are you? What's happening with you these days? Please let us know. We care.
In sisterhood,
Tam

Cmnissen
Nov 14
Nov 14

I did repost because I couldn't find the original. The update is that my ex, after delaying and delaying his court date and breakng his no-contact conditions and even dating to date and mutual acquaintance, has now pled NOT guilty to the charge of assault causing bodily harm. I now have to go to court for this.

I was hoping someone could tell me how often women win in this type of situation. The Crown is representing me, and so far they have not contacted me for further evidence.

Thank you for commenting on this. I want you to know that I am safe and happy since this occurred. :) I am looking forward to testifying against him because I want him to see that I am not afraid of him.

Tamarack Verrall
Nov 14
Nov 14

Hi again,
I am glad you sent out your story a second time. I hope that you can get some support in your city. Here is a suggestion: Women’s Emergency Accommodation Centre, 9611 101A Ave, Edmonton, AB T5H 3V5 Phone: (780) 423-5302, Also the YWCA, 10080 Jasper Ave #400, Edmonton, AB T5J 1V9, Opens 8:30 a.m. Mon. Phone: (780) 423-9922. Courts in Canada as in so many countries are not dependable, but these agencies may be able to find you emergency housing and/or support you through court.
(Just for your info, if you click on your name and then on Posts, you will find any stories you have written. This can be a big site to navigate). If you click on your green icon you will find your private message box. I'll send you a note there, too. You deserve a life of safety and respect. Please reach out for support from women in your city, and stay in touch with us here, too.
In sisterhood,
Tam

Nini Mappo
Nov 15
Nov 15

Hello Sister,
I am so sorry to hear of this ordeal, but also glad to read in the comments that you are now in safety. I hope that you heal sufficiently and live life to the full.
Sending love and hugs and sparkles :)

Laetitia Shindano
Nov 30
Nov 30

Merci pour le partage de votre triste histoire.
Laetitia

Cmnissen
Nov 30
Nov 30

Thank you, my friend!

Cmnissen
Nov 30
Nov 30

Thank you for your kind words. I have found happiness in my new home and am looking forward to fighting this piece of garbage in court next year. He pled not guilty, and doesn't realize that this has not intimidated me, rather it has fueled my anger against him and ignited the fight in me!