Surviving and rising from abusive marriages

Coolmo
Posted January 3, 2019 from Zimbabwe

I have endured the worst any women can even/possibly go through in a marriage life.

I grew up imagining marriage life being the best. But to my disappointment I experienced the opposite.

I got married in Dec 2009 to someone I thought cared for me. Only to be given a wake up call.

The man was abusive, a womanizer and cold hearted person. He did not have a steady job I was more of the breadwinner. It started on my first pregnancy, if i got sick he would shout at me all the way to the hospital saying all nasty things.

Just after a year I told my family that I can no longer live with this man but all they would say is that's how marriages are like jus be strong.

I couldn't I live a zombie life dreading to go home from work hoping that he doesn't return home. I had my 1st born 2010 and my second born in 2011. 

Things got worst. He would force himself me violently. One time he twisted my leg and hurt my knee. I still have a knee problem til this day.

I became to feel lifeless each day. Cry by myself in bed at work even walking in town.

My kids only made me feel I have something to live for. I honestly sometimes thought that it ws better being dead than alive

Then God intervened. It came to light that he had impregnated his blood sister from father's side and his aunt's daughter. By then we were staying at my parent's place. The truth was finally relieved to my relatives and chased him away. That was the first time I felt relieved in life. That was Jan 2013.

From that time, I have been raising my beautiful kids on my own. It has been hard on me. I started getting sick, was off work weekly and was forced to leave. The doctors couldn't find the problem. I have struggled with the bills, and kids school fees. Sometimes they would go a month or two without going to school. It pained me.

Now I am jus starting to get back on my feet. Left my job a year ago because of my illness. Now I want to start a project of my own. Still looking for capital and investors. 

I am glad I now have self esteem and becoming confident with life.

I am grateful that I have an opportunity to speak out and maybe there are women out there going through the same.

One should not stay in marriage jus because you will be afraid what people will say.

 

 

 

Comments 10

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Jill Langhus
Jan 03
Jan 03

Hi Coolmo,

Welcome to the community, dear:-) Thanks for sharing your vulnerable, and courageous story. I'm glad you are no longer with him and becoming more confident, and getting back on your feet! I'm sure you will inspire many women with your story. I'm looking forward to hearing more about your project and what you're passionate about.

You may want to search the "community" pages to find other women with similar interests, or by region and interests to you, and reach out to them to collaborate in the meantime.

You may also want to consider submitting this story or another story for the two, current story awards, "A World Free of Violence," or "What Gives You Hope?" If so, this is the link: https://www.worldpulse.com/en/story-awards

Hope you're having a good day!

Coolmo
Jan 03
Jan 03

Thank you so much. I wish to reach out to many women out there

Jill Langhus
Jan 03
Jan 03

You're very welcome:) Great! You're headed in the right direction dear, and 2019 is yours'"

You can private message me, if you would like to brainstorm, need support, etc., too:-)

Hannah B
Jan 03
Jan 03

Hello Coolmo,

Thank you for sharing your story with us! You have certainly survived things that no one should have to endure. I am happy to hear that you feel confidence and hope now, and that you want to speak out to help other women. Your message is very important - no one should stay in marriage just because of what people will say!
I look forward to reading more of your writing.
Warmly,
Hannah

Lisbeth
Jan 03
Jan 03

Hi Coolmo,
Its sad you have to experience such marriage. This is almost what a lots of women meet in their marriage homes :-)

Good you have mustered up courage to talk about it. Regards

Ngwa Damaris
Jan 04
Jan 04

I can’t stop smiling because I know you will bounce back. Violent marriage will not be a cause to break you down:) Congratulations once more

Bettina Amendi
Jan 27
Jan 27

Be Strong Coolmo,
you just one among thousands of women who face such.The beauty for you is that you joined the right forum.
Regards
Bettina

Ngala Nadege
Feb 05
Feb 05

Hello Coolmo,
Its really bad ,the trauma ,the abuse Oh my God I just imagine it. Each time a read any post or article on domestic violence it makes me sick. Thank God you are out of it. How are your kids doing? Do you wish to have any contact with him again ?

Feka
Mar 13
Mar 13

I read and see a strong woman who will stop at nothing. I know you will get what you want. Remain strong and focus

SIMON MUREU
Mar 29
Mar 29

sorry for what came upon you.There those who are even in deep deed problems than yours .Take courage and be prayerful

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