Empowered

Daki Dido
Posted August 30, 2020 from Kenya
Doing what i love (1/1)

This is the story of a girl born in Northern Kenya, Marsabit. A place known for its harsh weather condition, hot and dry and with a society that is largely illiterate and with a barbaric culture.

A girl's place is in the kitchen. She will not be taken to school. She will be taught the duties of a wife then she will undergo female genital mutilation. She will be married off to the village elder betrothed to her at the age of 4years. She is 13yrs old and pregnant with her first child. She goes into labour and her grandmother who is the traditional birth attendant helps her through it. The labour is difficult, it goes beyond the expected time  and her grandmother decides she needs to be taken to the nearest health facility which is 100km away and with a poor road network, it will be a days journey.

Her mother has no money, she decides to sell their only remaining sheep. This takes a whole day. Her 2nd day in labour. She is still at home. On the 3rd day they start the long journey to the health facility. She is tired and weak, she has lost alot of blood and at the verge of death.

At the facility the health worker refers her to the county referral hospital for cesarean section. Her pelvis is too small for the baby to pass through. It takes another 2hours to organize transport.

She gets to the referral centre and a c-section is done. The baby is no more, she probably lost the baby on the 2nd day labouring at home. In theatre she is bleeding. Despite the doctor's every effort the bleeding doesn't stop and her uterus has to be removed to save her life. She will never have a child of her own.

She is safe but has developed a fistula. She has no control over her bladder and her urine just flows. Her journey to recovery will be long.

She has lost her baby, her ability to conceive and control over her bladder. Her husband now marries another 13yr old for his wife cannot give him children.

It is in this society that Daki is born, her narrative different from her friends for she is lucky her mother went to school. She is encouraged to go to school. The journey is not easy. It involves long treks to school and back. The mornings are cold and misty. There are dogs on the road. Daki was attacked by dogs when she was 5ys old while going to nursery school. She was bitten on both lesgs. It was a tough time for her. She now has an inherent fear of dogs. She must be accompanied by an adult at least half way to school, where she will meet children from other villages.

The afternoons are very hot, walking home is unbearable but she has to. At home her mama encourages her to read and helps her with difficult concepts. She sleeps and in the morning the cycle repeats again. 

The school calendar is often interrupted by ethnic rivalry. A man in village A was murdered. In a revenge mission another is killed in village B. Everyone is afraid for no one knows who will be attacked next. Businesses are paralyzed and so is school. Parents pull children out of school. A day or two of no school and then it normalizes until they strike again. 

Daki is lucky, she now proceeds to high school in a different county far from Marsabit. Here she meets other girls from different cultures where both boys and girls attend school. Girls who get to choose whom to marry and at a time of their choice. She is inspired. She works hard at school for she has seen a girl can become whatever she wants to be. 

She wants to be a doctor. She goes to medical school and endures the long hours of study. She enjoys the journey. 

She is now a doctor. She has returned home and wants to change the narrative of the girls in her village. 

 

 

Comments 10

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Prozoe
Aug 31
Aug 31

When I grow up, I wanna be like Daki, Brave, persistent, strong, resilient, Beautiful and downright inspiring. It takes tons and tons of will power to break a cycle, especially from such a young age. I pray that God blesses those young women in your hometown with watching eyes and hearts aching for more, for a better quality of life, a life that is full and purpose-filled like yours, like you did. In Fact, I pray this for all my sisters in a similar situation.

You are amazing, What you do is remarkable.

thank you for sharing your story sister.

#BigLove

Andrace
Aug 31
Aug 31

Yeeeeaaahhhh! Empowered to change the narrative! Thank you Dr. Daki. You write so beautifully. Please, keep writing. Your WP sisters love to read too.

Welcome to the family and congratulations on your first post! You’re super strong. Thank you for returning home and not staying back in any big city. Your powerful voice can’t be silenced now and many girls would almost owe their lives to your kind intervention. ‘Grateful for your service.

I was so touched about how girls still suffer extensively till date. Many practices ought to have been forgotten with the Stone Age.

Do keep up the passion, please. ‘Happy you found WP.

Hugs and love,
E. J.

Hello, Dr. Daki,

Welcome to World Pulse! It's such a delight that a new voice from Nigeria is rising up!

Whoa! What an inspiring story you have, dear. You are such a great storyteller. You've described the awful situation of being a girl in your community. How heartbreaking to be married at 13 to a village elder, suffer from labor, deal with child loss, developed fistula, and abandoned by a husband. How cruel that culture is to a girl.

Thank you for striving hard to break that cycle, and to come back to your community to help them change that narrative. What a celebration when a girl breaks through from the norms! Thanks to your mom who brave the storms herself to put you to school!

Please continue writing, dear sister. We love to know more about you. Welcome again to our growing sisterhood!

Kike
Sep 01
Sep 01

I got chills reading this. Thanks for sharing your story Dr Daki, you write so beautifully.
It's really heartbreaking that this practice of genital mutilation is still carried out on young girls to this day, that people still consider teen girls to be brides.
Thanks to your mother for refusing to let this be your story. Thank you for your determination to be one who breaks the cycle, for braving all the odds, and for coming back for those who long for a different kind of life.
Congratulations on your first post. I look forward to reading more of your writing and learning more about your story.

Nini Mappo
Sep 01
Sep 01

Hello Daki,
Welcome to World Pulse. I'm glad you found World Pulse, it's great to have another sister on board.
Your story is remarkable. I'd point at Marsabit during my geography lessons, but now you have taken me there. I can see your family, your community, the ingrained mentality about the value of the girl only as a bride at the centre of communal conflict. I can see you, with a vision far beyond your community, fighting for your dreams and finding them, so that you can teach the girls in your community to dream, and journey in their fight for those dreams.

It is incredible what education has empowered you to be. How much more incredible it would be to have more girls becoming what they can, not what they have been told they are.
Yaay to changing the narrative, we're here to cheer you on!

Stay safe, stay sparkly:)

Beth Lacey
Sep 04
Sep 04

This is a very sad story, but leads to a tremendous success

Chidimma
Sep 06
Sep 06

Beautiful story and very inspiring. Welcome to WP Dr Daki. Thanks for sharing.

Amanda Obidike
Sep 08
Sep 08

Thank you for sharing this beautiful story. At first, it felt like i was reading a literature book. I am so inspired that she rose and defiled all odds.
This is also a wakeup call for young women and girls to be free to dream. Free to succeed. Free to be determined and Free to win.
Thank you again.

ARREY- ECHI
Sep 09
Sep 09

Dear Dr Daki,
Welcome to the Pulse. Congratulations for braving the odds and going above and beyond to break the cultural yoke and circle. It took a lot of commitment, resolve and will power to keep going. A special thank you to your mum for helping you along this journey. truly, when you educate a woman, you educate an entire generation.
I pray more young girls look up to you as a beautiful inspiration to be whatever they wish to be.
Thank you for sharing your inspiring story. We look forward to reading more of your amazing journey.

Chi8629
Sep 19
Sep 19

Thank you for sharing Empress.