I joined high school in 2006 and one I thing I remember was how impolite people were with me, how they segregated me because of my size, how they treated me because of how I looked like. I do not know who defines beauty in schools but it sure is a problem for so many young girls and boys out there.
I do not know if anyone else relates with this but this is my story.....
I was so happy joiningSt. Mark's College because it was a boarding school, far away from home; a place where I expected to be welcomed and treated with fairness as a new student. My school days were the most uncomfortable days I have ever had. The days I didn’t want to wake up because I was going to be judged or abused or mocked.
There were these girls who made my life uncomfortable so much that I waited for holidays (school break offs) like a kid waiting for Christmas clothes. People who abuse others being fat or short or referring to them by their body parts are the worst there is. Since childhood, I have been a “fat” person, it so turns out that some of my body parts were also “big” (If I can use this word). So these girls, in their small groups of the so called pretty ladies became living hell to me. They always abused me that I was fat and ugly and had big teeth, a teeth gap, a big belly, tiny legs and all sorts of verbal abuses you can think of. Having big boobs in school was one of the worst things you could have- this was my perception because this is what others based on to define my beauty. They would abuse me of having such huge boobs that this pain stayed with me for over three years of high school.
I do not know who defined beauty to them that they had to call everyone else ugly but some of my fellow students made life a living hell for me. My story is a painful one, it’s a story I write with tears flowing down, looking back at how they abused the features of my body and where I am now, I realize nothing has changed but rather my mindset about myself is what has changed my way of life. Emotional scars take long to heal; they stay with you for the most part of your life until you decide to forgive and forget.
When you are in school, physical features on your body are something most of us pay attention to as definition for our beauty but now I have come to appreciate and accept the true meaning of beauty, not just a combination of qualities, such as shape, color, or form, that pleases the aesthetic senses, especially the sight but something more than that; your true self the inner you.
Luckily in 2010 when I joined senior five, I got to appreciate my beauty. I accepted the truth that I am a plus size teenager and that there is nothing I could do about that. I love myself even more now because I started with appreciating myself and being bold and strong to accept how God made me then spreading this to other women out there through compliments. I encourage women, girls, and boys including people with disabilities to love yourselves no matter what people’s opinions about you are. It all starts with you, it’s all in your mind, and your mind is your biggest obstacle to what you deserve, where you need to be and who you are.
Remember as one writer quoted, no one can hurt you without your own consent! Be You. Speak up, you never know who you influence and touch to make a positive change in their lives.