Dr. Adesoye Tosin
Posted March 6, 2020 from Nigeria



For the past 10 yrs or so , a tiny winy part of me that I like to suppress used to think the bible is a lil bias when it comes marriage. I used to think the bible gave majority of the responsibilities to the women and only few to men .

   Not until yesterday during one of my soul search moments,that a particular bible verse struck my mind again and everything suddenly became clear.That was when I realized how wrong I have been .

  I have realised many Christian men are just like me and all they see in the bible is how they are the Lords in their homes, how their wives must be submissive and be a virtuous woman and they see nothing else .They think as long as they provide(some don't even bother about the provision part),lead and they are masters in their homes they are fulfilling the biblical responsibilities of a husband. 

 I can't believe a renowned Nigerian Man of God dedicated a whole session of his sermon to how wives are nothing but slaves to their husbands , I watched in awe , I was like really??? backed up with bible verses , I guess he forgot the most important bible verse for husbands.

  Ephesians 5:25 says "Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her"

  In case you fail to understand the kind of responsibility that is bequeathed to husbands in that bible verse, I will expatiate . 

  That bible verse could have just said "husband , love your wives"and end it at that but it didn't just stop there, it gave them a measure of love they have to live up to.It says "husbands, love your wives just as christ loved the church"

Do you even understand that? Do you???

John 3:16 says "For God so loved the world that he gave his only begotten son............."

If you still don't understand I will simplify as much as I can

Christ loved the church so much that he sacrificed his status, his pride as the son of God and he chose to become a mere man to be killed in order to wash your sins away .

  Do you understand that kinda love?Can you even begin to imagine the depth of that love?A love that made christ equate himself to you,ordinary you.

  That is the kind of love the bible asked husbands to bestow on their wives, the kind of love of that can make you sacrifice your ego and pride when need be, that love that wants you to see her happy and everlastingly fulfilled, the kind of love that can make you sacrifice your life for your wife .All these were things christ did for the church. Christ's kind of love will never make you refer to your wife as a slave or treat her like one. Never!!!

  One more thing, any husband that wants to love his wife as christ loved the church cannot be less than virtuous himself. That sole bible verse gave husbands a mountain full of responsibilities to their wives which many fail to fulfill.

   I can't believe some Christian men had a problem with me saying praying wives also deserve praying husbands,they think we are somewhat turning the bible upside down, they think we are bringing worldliness and feminism into God's definition of marriage. If you have a problem with the fact that praying wives also deserve praying husbands, are you even a Christian at all? In 1 Thessalonians 5:17 , the bible says pray without ceasing and that bible verse has no gender discrimination. If you are praying as a husband and your wife cannot be part of prayer point, please brother what are you praying about ‍♀️?How does any Christian have a problem with that statement,I don't get it.If you think a woman also asking for a praying husband is her deviating from her destined role as a wife and you think it is not a man's destined role to pray for his wife. How clueless can you be about your responsibilities as a christian husband ‍♀️?

  Until Christian men learn to love their wives as Christ loved the church and the wives learn to be virtuous women as required, until both learn to properly manage one another's imperfections that is when many Christian homes will be enjoyed more than being endured.Thank you




Comments 10

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Anita Shrestha
Mar 06, 2020
Mar 06, 2020

Dear Sister
Thank you for sharing such fact.

Mar 06, 2020
Mar 06, 2020

Thank you for sharing

Tamarack Verrall
Mar 07, 2020
Mar 07, 2020

Dear Adesoye,
All of the various religions have lessons of morals and values, and raise discussion. "That sole bible verse gave husbands a mountain full of responsibilities to their wives which many fail to fulfill". Congrats on looking in depth into your religion and challenging Christian men who disrespect or mistreat wives.

Metiege Noel Eve
Mar 08, 2020
Mar 08, 2020

Wow sister T or Pastor T. Thanks for sharing such great biblical insight. I have jotted down notes so my husband and I can have a good women's day discussion at the end of the day. Just keep the findings coming
# in sisterhood#.

Mar 09, 2020
Mar 09, 2020

Dear Tosin,
thanks for sharing

Mar 10, 2020
Mar 10, 2020

Wow Adesoy,you just hit the nail on the truly saw deep men sure have a great responsibility but have fail to do and like Adam playing the blame game. They talk only about the wives submission and not the love they have to show by laying down their lives if it meant doing that at some point. Thanks dear for shearing your new insight with us I love it.

Karen Quiñones-Axalan
Mar 20, 2020
Mar 20, 2020

Exactly, dear sister. I say AMEN to that.

The command to "love your wives" did come first. Any act that does not show love to their wives does not deserve violates that command. So before any husband say, " submit to me", they better be sure they love their wives first just as Christ loves the Church.

Apr 11, 2020
Apr 11, 2020

My dear abible needs my time to understand it, and some see what others do and some times it turns them, now handle it in quit way, one may follow you and do it as you need,

Thelma obani 2020
Apr 13, 2020
Apr 13, 2020

God who is the head of the home front will help us manage our imperfections.. thanks for sharing. You have opened my eyes.❤❤❤

Selma Ndi
Apr 13, 2020
Apr 13, 2020

Darling Adesoye,
This has got to be the most uplifting piece I have read this morning. One can't overemphasize the role husbands should play. Thank you so much for sharing